ExpatInItaly Posted October 27, 2021 Posted October 27, 2021 3 minutes ago, Wenyyyy said: If that’s the case, why does he say “for sure we will meet again” before he left and sounded like he wanted to take things further on a serious level during our dates.. Because meeting again still does not mean you are dating. It means you will meet again whenever he's next in town. Unfortunately, you assigned too much emotional significance to his words. He's having a good time but if he were serious about staying in touch, he wouldn't let a week pass without any communication. 3
ASG Posted October 27, 2021 Posted October 27, 2021 1 hour ago, ExpatInItaly said: Because meeting again still does not mean you are dating. It means you will meet again whenever he's next in town. Unfortunately, you assigned too much emotional significance to his words. He's having a good time but if he were serious about staying in touch, he wouldn't let a week pass without any communication. He's half a world away, after only a handful of dates. I wouldn't even assign any meaning to him not texting for a week. It's not like they can go out next weekend, and I find a texting relationship gets really boring, really fast, particularly when there's no solid base. He's just living life. Which is exactly what he should be doing. If/when he moves to whereever the OP is, then we'll see what happens. As for his words... He's being nice. And there's nothing wrong with that. He might even mean them, but at the same time, put them on the backburner. Him saying he likes the OP and that they'll meet again can perfectly be true. But it doesn't mean he's dropping everything in his life to invest in this "relationship" . I know I wouldn't if I was in his position. 1
Alpacalia Posted October 27, 2021 Posted October 27, 2021 2 hours ago, Wenyyyy said: Thanks!! I feel better now after discussing or talking with you all in this forum now I just need to move on or try to distract myself until he contacts again That sounds good. So what do you think are some good ways to distract yourself? If you plan to continue this, maybe a good idea would be to limit your interaction with him if and when he does text until he's moved to your area.
Author Wenyyyy Posted October 27, 2021 Author Posted October 27, 2021 1 hour ago, ASG said: He's half a world away, after only a handful of dates. I wouldn't even assign any meaning to him not texting for a week. It's not like they can go out next weekend, and I find a texting relationship gets really boring, really fast, particularly when there's no solid base. Yes, totally agree on that one and understand where he’s coming from. But will see after a month or two if things changes…
Author Wenyyyy Posted October 27, 2021 Author Posted October 27, 2021 22 minutes ago, Alpaca said: That sounds good. So what do you think are some good ways to distract yourself? If you plan to continue this, maybe a good idea would be to limit your interaction with him if and when he does text until he's moved to your area. Well by going out and connecting with people or started to use dating apps again also deleted my Instagram until Friday where he would already left Köln 1
stillafool Posted October 27, 2021 Posted October 27, 2021 4 hours ago, Wenyyyy said: if he’s contacting me again or the situation between him and his gf I'm confused, does he have a gf?
Author Wenyyyy Posted October 27, 2021 Author Posted October 27, 2021 13 minutes ago, Interstellar said: You’re not exclusive. Yeah we aren’t, but it doesn’t bite to be honest/straight… I would’ve been open minded and accepting to be friends. Still, one shouldn’t lie
Author Wenyyyy Posted October 27, 2021 Author Posted October 27, 2021 4 minutes ago, stillafool said: I'm confused, does he have a gf? I don’t even know, but I assume he has? You don’t think that’s his gf or they’re dating?
Author Wenyyyy Posted October 27, 2021 Author Posted October 27, 2021 Just now, Wenyyyy said: I don’t even know, but I assume he has? You don’t think that’s his gf or they’re dating? Plus I remembered we had a conversation about some guys who cheated on their girlfriend and he got so angry about the guy. But now it seems he’s doing the same stuff during his business trip in asia?
stillafool Posted October 27, 2021 Posted October 27, 2021 18 minutes ago, Wenyyyy said: I don’t even know, but I assume he has? You don’t think that’s his gf or they’re dating? I don't have a clue but if I thought she was his gf I certainly wouldn't be waiting on this: 2 hours ago, Wenyyyy said: But will see after a month or two if things changes… I would move on, not wait nor look back.
elaine567 Posted October 27, 2021 Posted October 27, 2021 15 hours ago, Gaeta said: ... he spends his evenings doing nothing in hotels rooms. Not necessarily nothing... 2
smackie9 Posted October 27, 2021 Posted October 27, 2021 1 hour ago, Wenyyyy said: Plus I remembered we had a conversation about some guys who cheated on their girlfriend and he got so angry about the guy. But now it seems he’s doing the same stuff during his business trip in asia? It's called projecting. 1
Author Wenyyyy Posted October 27, 2021 Author Posted October 27, 2021 5 minutes ago, smackie9 said: It's called projecting. hmm
Gaeta Posted October 27, 2021 Posted October 27, 2021 4 hours ago, Wenyyyy said: Plus I remembered we had a conversation about some guys who cheated on their girlfriend and he got so angry about the guy. Remember when I said some men lie, a lot, about everything. I have an ex who was aggressive toward me, yet each time he heard a story about a woman being a victim of her boyfriend/husband he would get extremely mad as if it was completely/totally unacceptable and he would say things like these men should be in jail and never come out etc etc etc. It's all sand in your eyes. 3
Author Wenyyyy Posted October 27, 2021 Author Posted October 27, 2021 Just now, Gaeta said: Remember when I said some men lie, a lot, about everything. I have an ex who was aggressive toward me, yet each time he heard a story about a woman being a victim of her boyfriend/husband he would get extremely mad as if it was completely/totally unacceptable and he would say things like these men should be in jail and never come out etc etc etc. It's all sand in your eyes. Oh damnn.. I actually believed it they’re so good at acting! im so looking forward to 2022 to see what’s gonna happen between us or whatever decision he would made
Gaeta Posted October 27, 2021 Posted October 27, 2021 2 minutes ago, Wenyyyy said: Oh damnn.. I actually believed it they’re so good at acting! im so looking forward to 2022 to see what’s gonna happen between us or whatever decision he would made You will grow tired of waiting in 3 weeks. You have nothing better to do with your next 4 months? Love & attraction is not a decision, you feel it or you don't, he doesn't. He already forgot about you. 1
Author Wenyyyy Posted October 27, 2021 Author Posted October 27, 2021 (edited) 6 minutes ago, Gaeta said: You will grow tired of waiting in 3 weeks. You have nothing better to do with your next 4 months? Love & attraction is not a decision, you feel it or you don't, he doesn't. He already forgot about you. yeah I’m gonna do my stuff, making new connections but in the mean time I’m still gonna wait and see what’s gonna happened in the next few months. For now I’m gonna give us some space and let him has his fun It’s hard to keep up when you’re not exclusive and long distance doesn’t help, so I understand why we’re not texting everyday. Edited October 27, 2021 by Wenyyyy 1
stillafool Posted October 27, 2021 Posted October 27, 2021 9 minutes ago, Wenyyyy said: I'm so looking forward to 2022 to see what’s gonna happen between us or whatever decision he would made You're alredy planning to spend 2022 waiting for this guy to come around? C'mon Wenyyy surely this isn't the only guy you've got going. 1
Author Wenyyyy Posted October 27, 2021 Author Posted October 27, 2021 Just now, stillafool said: You're alredy planning to spend 2022 waiting for this guy to come around? C'mon Wenyyy surely this isn't the only guy you've got going. Yeah I really like this guy! If he’s really in a relationship I would just let him go but for now I don’t have an answer but only assumptions. In the mean time, I’m also letting my doors open to any new connections
Wiseman2 Posted October 27, 2021 Posted October 27, 2021 1 hour ago, Wenyyyy said: Yeah I really like this guy! If he’s really in a relationship I would just let him go but for now I don’t have an answer but only assumptions. In the mean time, I’m also letting my doors open to any new connections Excellent. Start talking to and meeting other men. Get on quality dating apps with a good profile and pics. He may not have a GF/committed relationship. He may not be lying. He may date casually with several women like he did with you. It's possible he's a free spirit and has "a girl in every port" so to speak. 2
Author Wenyyyy Posted October 27, 2021 Author Posted October 27, 2021 5 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Excellent. Start talking to and meeting other men. Get on quality dating apps with a good profile and pics. He may not have a GF/committed relationship. He may not be lying. He may date casually with several women like he did with you. It's possible he's a free spirit and has "a girl in every port" so to speak. Yeah how I wish we didn’t met sooner though! Could’ve just met when he’s moved here, now I have to suffer all these uncertainties But that’s okay, take this as an experience! 1
NuevoYorko Posted October 29, 2021 Posted October 29, 2021 You aren't handling this in a healthy way. Binge eating, stalking his social media and this other woman's, talking about shutting down your own social, future planning, etc. Whether he is seeing other women or not (frankly, sounds like he is) it seems like having a relationship with a person who is traveling a lot would provoke anxiety for you. 1
Author Wenyyyy Posted November 1, 2021 Author Posted November 1, 2021 On 10/30/2021 at 2:50 AM, NuevoYorko said: You aren't handling this in a healthy way. Binge eating, stalking his social media and this other woman's, talking about shutting down your own social, future planning, etc. Whether he is seeing other women or not (frankly, sounds like he is) it seems like having a relationship with a person who is traveling a lot would provoke anxiety for you. Thanks!! I’m actually getting better now, but yeah it’s highly likely they’re seeing each other. And no actually, don’t think I would overthink if we’re in relationship or being committed to each other! Would’ve trusted this man.
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