Is he dating this girl that is travelling with him during his business trips?

[smackie9]

So with this new nugget of information...he stops texting you, is that when you happened on her profile to find out he's traveling to the same location as her? Maybe that's why he stopped texting? he's busy with her?

Edited October 26, 2021 by smackie9

[Gaeta]

Just now, Wenyyyy said:

Well before we met they’d also gone another trip to Norway… but yeah It’s hard to keep up daily with someone far away I think:/

It's not heard. Technology makes it easy nowadays. He's not fighting a war, he's on a business trip, he spends his evenings doing nothing in hotels rooms. 

[stillafool]

1 hour ago, Wenyyyy said:

I’m quite certain he’s not a married man, that woman might be new (they might met few months ago during spring/summer), hard to tell.

Even though he met her a few months ago it didn't stop him from talking to you and asking you out.  So relax.

[Wenyyyy]

3 minutes ago, stillafool said:

Even though he met her a few months ago it didn't stop him from talking to you and asking you out.  So relax.

Yeah that’s weird isn’t it? I don’t get why he’s dating two woman at the same time or dating another chicks behind his gf back 

I really see him wrongly, thought he was a gentleman but he’s not!

Edited October 26, 2021 by Wenyyyy

[Gaeta]

Just now, Wenyyyy said:

Yeah that’s weird isn’t it? I don’t get why he’s dating two woman at the same time or dating another chicks behind his gf back 

You don't need to 'get it' for it to be real. Those men exist, they have no conscience, they enjoy the chase, they take and move on. 

[Wenyyyy]

6 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

It's not heard. Technology makes it easy nowadays. He's not fighting a war, he's on a business trip, he spends his evenings doing nothing in hotels rooms. 

And now he’s a companion  

 

8 minutes ago, smackie9 said:

So with this new nugget of information...he stops texting you, is that when you happened on her profile to find out he's traveling to the same location as her? Maybe that's why he stopped texting? he's busy with her?

Yep! I think now he’s spending time with this lady or dating her and that’s why he stopped texting… it is what it is 

[Wenyyyy]

4 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

You don't need to 'get it' for it to be real. Those men exist, they have no conscience, they enjoy the chase, they take and move on. 

Yeah I shouldn’t trust his words  he literally convinced me he’s gentleman in front of my face. Lesson learned!! I should be careful next time…

[Gaeta]

Just now, Wenyyyy said:

Yeah I shouldn’t trust his words  he literally convinced me he’s gentleman in front of my face. Lesson learned!! I should be careful next time…

I roll my eyes at every man telling me he's a gentleman. A gentleman shows he is one with actions, not words. 

Stay away from men that are not local. 

[ASG]

24 minutes ago, Wenyyyy said:

It’s been a week now since we stopped texting

A week isn't that long, but the old saying of "out of sight, out of mind" does tend to play out. 

I'd suggest getting on with your life, and not thinking to much about him. If and when he does move to where you are, you can reevaluate things. But as it is, you're in a VERY long distance situation, and you only went on a handful of dates. It doesn't exactly make for a solid basis for a relationship. 

Whether he is dating this other woman is, quite frankly irrelevant. He's not stopping living his life for you. You shouldn't either. 

[ASG]

7 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

I roll my eyes at every man telling me he's a gentleman. A gentleman shows he is one with actions, not words. 

Stay away from men that are not local. 

It's like the guys who insist on mentioning they're "nice guys" (tm). More often than not, they aren't. 

[Wenyyyy]

2 minutes ago, ASG said:

Whether he is dating this other woman is, quite frankly irrelevant. He's not stopping living his life for you. You shouldn't either. 

That sounds quite motivational, thank you! 
 

let’s see what happens in a few months, hoping time flies sooner

[Wenyyyy]

If he’s texting me again after few weeks after his German trips or other business trips he might go in the coming weeks, i think I can brought up how did his business trip went and if he went solo?

Edited October 26, 2021 by Wenyyyy

[Gaeta]

You're putting too much hope into this. What's wrong with dating local men?

[healing light]

I haven't read this whole thread, but I would not assume this man is exclusive or available to date until he is in the area. She could be a girlfriend, a work colleague, or even a sister (though I suspect that isn't likely). Ultimately none of us can know for sure, but keep a guard over your heart until you're both in the same location and you can assess his behavior in real life if you're still interested by then.

[Ami1uwant]

5 hours ago, Wenyyyy said:

Hi, this is really bothering me and I’ve been overthinking a lot, some advice and opinions would be helpful.
So I met this guy 3 weeks ago- he flew from Europe to asia for some business meeting and stayed for 14 days. He would be moving here in Feb 2022. We have been chatting a bit before that (for 1-2months on and off) and finally met up when he was here and went on 5-6 dates and really got along well with each other. Ever since that day, we chat like everyday, he was the one who always initiate the conversation. After he flew back to Switzerland, I went on a holiday trip and he kept chatting with me until my holiday ended. We really liked each other and he often confessed that to me as well and sent each other heart emojis and update each other with pics during our chats. Before he left, he texted me we will for sure meet again. I know it’s hard, you never know what’s gonna happen in these 4 months, he might fall in love with another girl or lost interest in me. He always flew to different cities or countries for business meetings. This week, he’s flying to Köln, Germany. I came across a woman’s profile he’s following on Instagram and that they are living in the same city in Switzerland, I was shocked that she’s now in Köln the same day as he is. Also found out she was also in Norway the same week/days when this guy was in Norway for business meeting as well a month ago before he came here. I was confused if they are dating? I’ve asked him during our dates if he’s dating anyone and he said no, his last date or gf was in May and hasn’t dated anyone since. 
Do you think he’s lying to me? Now asia is opening up, i don’t even know if she’s gonna move here with him. I really like him but I’m not sure if he was being dishonest to me. 

now that this is happening im feeling very insecure and really bothering me at work.

(p/s: she’s definitely not his colleague as she’s a freelancer as said in bio)

Um…they could be coworkers traveling together for work…

[Ha-ha]

This sounds like many men who travel to asia and expect the company of some local girls for temporary companionship. They keep contact for a while and then disappear.

and yes, they can be charming and gentlemanly and very different from local guys. They really know the game.

I am sorry. 

Edited October 26, 2021 by Berlin

[Wenyyyy]

4 hours ago, healing light said:

I haven't read this whole thread, but I would not assume this man is exclusive or available to date until he is in the area. She could be a girlfriend, a work colleague, or even a sister (though I suspect that isn't likely). Ultimately none of us can know for sure, but keep a guard over your heart until you're both in the same location and you can assess his behavior in real life if you're still interested by then.

Yes, only time will tell! Which is few weeks away and hopefully things/truth will be clear by then..

[Wenyyyy]

4 hours ago, Berlin said:

This sounds like many men who travel to asia and expect the company of some local girls for temporary companionship. They keep contact for a while and then disappear.

and yes, they can be charming and gentlemanly and very different from local guys. They really know the game.

I am sorry. 

I understand this situation but Yeah let’s see if he’s gonna text again when the time is near/comes! 

[ExpatInItaly]

I think you were a fun fling for him while he was in town, but he is not taking this anywhere near as seriuosly as you are and doesn't consider this "dating."

His weeklong silence is your cue that is was casual for him and he's not sitting around planning out how to date you should he move to your area, Wenny. In other words, you over-invested in someone who was just looking for a good time. 

I wouldn't hold your breath here, personally. 

[Alpacalia]

11 hours ago, Wenyyyy said:

Thanks!! Really wish I didn’t came across her profile last night but after this it really gave me lots of anxiety and I’ve been started to binge-eating to release both work stress and doubts of what’s going to happened in the next few months when he’d moved here. I’ve also keeping my options open but still think a lot about him. 

I can't make heads or tails of what's going on with this man but frankly, it's probably a good idea to consider whether this is the right setting for you, especially given you stated binge-eating to relieve your worry. Someone mentioned recognizing your limitations previously, and it appears like you're pushing yourself past them.

There's nothing wrong with knowing when a situation isn't ideal for you.

So, that's just something to consider.

 

Edited October 27, 2021 by Alpaca

[Wiseman2]

10 hours ago, Wenyyyy said:

I don’t get why he wanna foster a potential relationship with me when he’s already in a relationship… 

 

He's staying in touch, not fostering a relationship. Let go. Don't hold your breath for him.

He's out having fun and living life. You should do the same rather than stalking and trying to decipher his social media.

 

[Wenyyyy]

1 minute ago, Wiseman2 said:

He's staying in touch, not fostering a relationship. Let go. Don't hold your breath for him.

He's out having fun and living life. You should do the same rather than stalking and trying to decipher his social media.

 

Well if he wanted to be platonic, he should’ve said in the first place and stopped sending mix signals by sending me heart emojis etc and kept mentioning he likes me

Yeah I have deleted my app just now and taking a break for a few days so I wouldn’t get to see their post or what they’re doing.

[Wenyyyy]

1 hour ago, Alpaca said:

I can't make heads or tails of what's going on with this man but frankly, it's probably a good idea to consider whether this is the right setting for you, especially given you stated binge-eating to relieve your worry. Someone mentioned recognizing your limitations previously, and it appears like you're pushing yourself past them.

There's nothing wrong with knowing when a situation isn't ideal for you.

So, that's just something to consider.

 

Thanks!! I feel better now after discussing or talking with you all in this forum

now I just need to move on or try to distract myself until he contacts again

[Wenyyyy]

2 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said:

I think you were a fun fling for him while he was in town, but he is not taking this anywhere near as seriuosly as you are and doesn't consider this "dating."

His weeklong silence is your cue that is was casual for him and he's not sitting around planning out how to date you should he move to your area, Wenny. In other words, you over-invested in someone who was just looking for a good time. 

I wouldn't hold your breath here, personally. 

If that’s the case, why does he say “for sure we will meet again” before he left and sounded like he wanted to take things further on a serious level during our dates..

but yeah I think the only way to find out if that’s the end of us/short flings is that in a few months, if he’s contacting me again or the situation between him and his gf

Edited October 27, 2021 by Wenyyyy

[Wiseman2]

4 minutes ago, Wenyyyy said:

 I have deleted my app just now and taking a break for a few days so I wouldn’t get to see their post or what they’re doing.

Don't delete apps. Delete and block him and all his people from ALL your social media and messaging apps.

More importantly stop backpedaling and trying to turn a hook-up and a few dates into a relationship.

Instead, get a good profile and pics on quality dating apps and start talking to and meeting local single interested men.

That way you can put this this brief encounter behind you as just a pleasant memory.