Woman from OLD had lots of common friends/activities but I'm not interested in dating her. Ask her to be friends?

[stillafool]

14 minutes ago, max3732 said:

Like I mentioned we do have a lot of common interests so it might be fun to hang out and pursue those interests.

Most single women are not looking for male friends they want boyfriends; like this woman.  This is why it's best to have another man as your hangout partner.

[Sun Seeker]

34 minutes ago, max3732 said:

I agree. The thing is I don't have a lot of single friends to just hang out and do things with. I would never want to just use sometime to meet other people. Like I mentioned we do have a lot of common interests so it might be fun to hang out and pursue those interests. Just not in a romantic or dating sense. Do you think that's wrong?

Women are not to make friends with. They are to date, or nothing. Hanging out with common interests etc is what your male friends are for.

[Lotsgoingon]

Women can certainly make wonderful friends. The funnest friend I've had since high school was a woman I met and hung with in graduate school. She was at the center of--heck she created--a wide social network. She threw fun parties and was an amazing conversationalist. Just hanging with her got me to all kinds of places and events and parties and good times and yes allowed me to meet all kinds of women. 

I don't think it crossed her mind or mine that if a romantic partner came across our path, that our friendship was in the way.  I even mildly flirted with her. She used to wear short-shorts thad showed her gorgeous legs. At some point it was just easier to tell her that her legs looked great than to not say that. She would laugh--loved it. But I kept my hands off her. That wasn't hard either, because she was so funny and so much fun. 

OP, your date inviting you to a gathering of some sort could indeed be just a friendship offering. I can't tell. I think it's fine if you get to the romantic issue--you saying you are not interested. If you guys are to become friends, that friend status needs to be prettly loudly clear. Are you sure she's interested in you?

Sounds like she is plugged into lots of good activities. 

Edited October 27, 2021 by Lotsgoingon

[Wiseman2]

12 hours ago, max3732 said:

. Just not in a romantic or dating sense. Do you think that's wrong?

Lying or manipulation is wrong. If she wants to be just friends,fine but stop stringing her along.

Your social isolation is not her problem. It's a dating site not a make friends to hang out with site.

It's your responsibility to broaden your horizons.

That means join some groups, clubs, sports, volunteer, get a side hustle, take classes and get out there.

Dating apps are for potential romantic connections. If a friendship ensues,fine, but be crystal clear about it.

Again. Apply the golden rule. Would you want someone stringing you along to babysit her because she's bored?

Edited October 27, 2021 by Wiseman2

[dramafreezone]

On 10/25/2021 at 7:50 AM, max3732 said:

As she was getting in her car she asked me to do an activity next week and I said something like "we'll see". I didn't really know what to say.

 

Everyone knows what "we'll see" means, which is no, or only if I have nothing else better to do.  You didn't outright say it, but I surmise she just doesn't do it for your physically. 

I say to tell her that you just want to be friends.  I bet every single person in this thread saying *NOT* to do that has said that to someone they didn't want to date, as a means of letting them down more gently.  I know one perspective is "treat others how you would want to be treated," but others don't necessarily take the same news as well as you would.

It's kinder than "I'm just not interested," don't do that dude.  If you *actually* want to be friends, all the more reason to say it, because it's the truth.

Edited October 27, 2021 by dramafreezone