mortensorchid Posted October 25, 2021 Posted October 25, 2021 I am sad tonight. See my last thread for most recent information, but it makes me so frustrated and sad that no one out there wants to be with me. I reach for the stars and get shot down, I go for an average guy and they think I am crazy, I go an edgy type and they throw me over for someone else, I even go for losers and they still don't want me. What am I to do but be sad?
basil67 Posted October 25, 2021 Posted October 25, 2021 I'm sorry you're feeling down. It was so unfortunate that the last guy wasn't ready. However, I feel that there could be a different way to look at your different comparisons. A bit of perspective can be good and maybe you can find new direction. Regarding shooting for the stars, only the top 5% gets the top 5% so in this respect you're no different 95% of others out there. They think you're crazy if you go for the average guy. Who cares what others think! Perhaps this is where success might be found? The edgy types throw you over for someone else. Are you saying that all edgy types have left you for someone else? This would be very surprising. Or is it that the relationship ended and they found someone else later....or it didn't get off the ground? If that's the case it's possibly worth trying again there. As for the losers, if you view them as a "loser" then it's a no brainer that they won't want you. Even "losers" want to be with someone who values them. If you really do look down on someone, don't date them. It's will only be bad for both of you. Good luck 7
Gaeta Posted October 25, 2021 Posted October 25, 2021 Sorry you feel down. The feeling will pass. I feel like that mostly on weekends when l don't have work stress to keep my mind busy and on top of that everywhere we go on weekends everybody is coupled. Sad is not gonna fix anything, you just keep going. 1
Blind-Sided Posted October 25, 2021 Posted October 25, 2021 Sorry you are feeling down, and I will go check out your last thread too. I like what @basil67 has to say about the "Loosers". I've read enough of your threads to know that you may have decided to go out with them... but I get a feeling that you may put out the vibe that you thought that way while with them. Everyone wants to feel special. As far as the guys who think you are crazy... why do they think that? What part of your personality is that way?
Weezy1973 Posted October 25, 2021 Posted October 25, 2021 Your dating woes are not the problem. They’re a symptom of the problem. Low self worth is the problem. 4
chillii Posted October 28, 2021 Posted October 28, 2021 But how can you find what you want anyway going for such wide and completely different types of people. That's just shooting blind like so many seem to do around here. Don;t you know what you like and what suits you , what you get along with - that's who you go for. 1
OatsAndHall Posted October 29, 2021 Posted October 29, 2021 You've taken a "social cast" approach to dating which isn't going to work. Any semi-intuitive man will see that they're being placed above and (typically) below you quickly and you can't be surprised when that doesn't work out for you. I'll be blunt; this isn't rocket science. You find someone you click with, you treat them well, it's reciprocated and you move forward. If they can't treat you well (or vice versa) then it's done. If there's a lack of attraction or compatibility from the start, then don't even bother; it'll probably fail. 1
dramafreezone Posted October 29, 2021 Posted October 29, 2021 If you go out just trying to date anyone, of course your results will be poor. Have you ever asked yourself what you want in a guy? It sounds like right now you're just willing to settle for a warm body. Sit down, write down a list, how tall is he, what color hair, eyes does he have? Does he work out? What type of work does he do? What are his hobbies? Then, take a good look at yourself and see if you align with this guy. Do you have those same hobbies? Do you work out? You have to be what you want to receive in life. So often, people want the world but don't put forth the requisite effort. Part of it is this new-age idea of "I shouldn't have to change for anyone" even though they want the very best, they aren't showing up as the very best. If that's your attitude, then you have to live with your results as they are.
czanclus Posted October 30, 2021 Posted October 30, 2021 On 10/28/2021 at 12:10 AM, chillii said: But how can you find what you want anyway going for such wide and completely different types of people. That's just shooting blind like so many seem to do around here. Don;t you know what you like and what suits you , what you get along with - that's who you go for. Interesting that there is an equal pull, especially for women in middle age looking for a long-term partner, to 'cast a much wider net' and do away with over-constrained lists. I don't know mortensorchid, and even as a LS member only very superficially as a fellow middle-aged unmarried woman, but the feelings of sadness are entirely valid, and the possibility that there will never be a worthy connection in the future is entirely real. It should be considered as just as likely if not an even more likely scenario than that of the right man being at the right place at the right time with equal motivation to make the relationship work. And accepting that is where the healing begins and life becomes good again. Why is life incomplete without a partner? 2 1
chillii Posted October 30, 2021 Posted October 30, 2021 l dunno , lost me , what list l've never had a list in my life , l know what l like though . lt is sad though that such a natural thing just doesn't seem to want to happen for some . Sometimes l very easily see why , others just don't seem to be able to just find that something. lt's a shame , if they're one of the ones that would like to find it.
lovelessforum Posted October 31, 2021 Posted October 31, 2021 Are you reaching too fast for the stars?
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