Is my gf taking things too far with us in the workplace?

[Girl Fade Away]

4 hours ago, Alvi said:

Basically  they are just looking for a reason to get rid of you.

I think it is THIS.  By law they cannot fire you because you have a disability (autism) and are therefor in a protected class.   SO they need other reasons, legit reasons such as sexual harassment.  They are gathering documentation and evidence, whether it is true or not.  This form they had you sign saying you were not allowed to have lunch with co-workers?  That is absurd, I am pretty sure that is unlawful.  By law you are allowed a lunch break wherever and with whomever you want.   I would start looking for another job asap or you might find yourself unemployed one of these days when you least expect it.  Moving forward, do NOT date co-workers.

Edited November 15, 2021 by Girl Fade Away

[elaine567]

Do others leave work to go to lunch or is there an unwritten rule to stay on the premises?

[Girl Fade Away]

39 minutes ago, Girl Fade Away said:

By law you are allowed a lunch break wherever and with whomever you want.   

OMG I was mistaken!  This is in the U.S., below is what I found.

Many employers provide employees with a rest or lunch break, whether paid or unpaid. This common practice is not required everywhere, however: The federal wage and hour law, called the Fair Labor Standards Act (FLSA), doesn't require employers to provide meal or rest breaks.

So apparently, they can adopt their own policy w/r/t when and with whom you take a lunch break.  

Edited November 15, 2021 by Girl Fade Away

[basil67]

41 minutes ago, Girl Fade Away said:

I think it is THIS.  By law they cannot fire you because you have a disability (autism) and are therefor in a protected class.   SO they need other reasons, legit reasons such as sexual harassment.  They are gathering documentation and evidence, whether it is true or not.  This form they had you sign saying you were not allowed to have lunch with co-workers?  That is absurd, I am pretty sure that is unlawful.  By law you are allowed a lunch break wherever and with whomever you want.   I would start looking for another job asap or you might find yourself unemployed one of these days when you least expect it.  Moving forward, do NOT date co-workers.

I wonder if this is still valid if the employer has a duty of care and one/both of the people are considered vulnerable.  I can't see it being so much a problem if the couple are at similar life stages, but when one partner is significantly older and with more life experience (and possibly presents as 'higher functioning'?), and they are going off premises,  I would imagine that it sets off alarm bells.

Is freedom to have lunch with whoever more important than duty of care to someone who's vulnerable?   I don't know the answer....just pondering.

Edit - I just saw your update.  But still wondering about Duty of Care

Edited November 15, 2021 by basil67

[Girl Fade Away]

6 minutes ago, basil67 said:

I wonder if this is still valid if the employer has a duty of care and one/both of the people are considered vulnerable.  I can't see it being so much a problem if the couple are at similar life stages, but when one partner is significantly older and with more life experience (and possibly presents as 'higher functioning'?), and they are going off premises,  I would imagine that it sets off alarm bells.

Is freedom to have lunch with whoever more important than duty of care to someone who's vulnerable?   I don't know the answer....just pondering.

@basil67, see my subsequent post, I was mistaken about what I posted in previous post.   I have been working for many years and I always thought it was required by law that I get a meal break, but I was wrong.

Lesson for me:  Do research before posting information!  

Edited November 15, 2021 by Girl Fade Away

[ironpony]

1 hour ago, basil67 said:

Most likely it's because of the large age difference and her autism.   They likely view her as vulnerable.   It sounds like your company is inclusive in their hiring, but with that inclusivity does come a duty of care. 

 

Oh ok.  But I don't think they know she is autistic because she said she never told them at any point.  I told them I was though when I applied.

Edited November 15, 2021 by ironpony

[ironpony]

1 hour ago, elaine567 said:

Do others leave work to go to lunch or is there an unwritten rule to stay on the premises?

I am not sure what others do but they do not want me leaving with her.  She is leaving on her own sometimes to get take out occasionally, and they seem ok with that. I still get a lunch break, but they do not want us to leave together, even if we are back in time.

Edited November 15, 2021 by ironpony

[Gaeta]

1 hour ago, elaine567 said:

Do others leave work to go to lunch or is there an unwritten rule to stay on the premises?

In canada lunch is mandatory and unpaid. If your employer requires you stay at work for any reason then employer has to pay you. 

 

[Gaeta]

38 minutes ago, ironpony said:

I am not sure what others do but they do not want me leaving with her.  

Do you have a Union at your work?

[basil67]

1 hour ago, ironpony said:

Oh ok.  But I don't think they know she is autistic because she said she never told them at any point.  I told them I was though when I applied.

You said that your company makes a point of hiring people with special needs.  I'd say it's likely they know her history.

[ironpony]

57 minutes ago, basil67 said:

You said that your company makes a point of hiring people with special needs.  I'd say it's likely they know her history.

But she said she never told them and I don't think she would lie to me about that.

[basil67]

50 minutes ago, ironpony said:

But she said she never told them and I don't think she would lie to me about that.

I was wondering if she came through an employment agency who supports people with disabilities to get work.  If so, your work would know that she has a disability.   Or, it could simply be obvious to your bosses that she has autism

[usa1ah]

I really think you are over thinking this. 
 

Yes you are over reacting to the situation.   Keep things professional with others  and no PDA with her. Sharing a fork or saying I love you shouldn’t be a problem. 

[ExpatInItaly]

5 hours ago, usa1ah said:

I really think you are over thinking this. 
 

Yes you are over reacting to the situation.   

Have you read the update?

HR came to him and got him to sign a form after "complaints" about his interactions with her. 

[Wiseman2]

7 hours ago, ironpony said:

 she said she never told them 

No one has to reveal any medical history to an employer in Canada and they can't ask. That's discrimination.

They can ask if you need special accommodation if you volunteer information.

This form they made you fill out has nothing to do with your or her neurological situation or "disabilities".

Even if you were in a wheelchair, it doesn't give you the right to make others uncomfortable at work or ignore rules and protocols.

You are still expected to do your job and not make other employees workplace uncomfortable because of your inappropriate behaviors.

You are not being discriminated against. Even if an employee has a know medical situation, it's understood that they can and will perform thier duties and follow rules.

The form you signed indicates that there were documented complaints about you. It may be a warning, it will go in your file and you need to abide by whatever the form stated.

If you disagree or further harass anyone or make anyone uncomfortable, they can terminate you.

The best thing you can do is re-read your employee handbook, understand the rules, re-read the form and act accordingly. 

They did not discriminate nor fire you because of the autism. Therefore if you disagree with the employee handbook or whatever this form stated, you would need to consult an attorney for clarification.

Edited November 16, 2021 by Wiseman2

[ironpony]

Oh yes, I didn't think I was being discriminated against.  I only brought up the autism, because another user pointed out that they be looking out for her, since she is autistic, or so it was stated on here.

So if they are trying to build a sexual harrassment case against me, do they need any statements from her then, in order to see if she felt she was being harrassed?

[ironpony]

9 hours ago, Gaeta said:

Do you have a Union at your work?

No we don't.

[Wiseman2]

6 minutes ago, ironpony said:

 if they are trying to build a sexual harrassment case against me, 

What does the form say? 

[ironpony]

It just said to stop going on lunch with her really as if is giving off an unprofessional impression.  That's all it said from what I recall.

[elaine567]

Ask for a copy of the form.
You need to know exactly what it said so you don't inadvertently cross the line in the future.

[ironpony]

Okay thanks.  That's what they said though.  But I will ask for a copy.  But that's what they said.  So I won't leave the building to get lunch with her and hopefully they will call the matter closed, if that's likely, if that's what they said?

Edited November 16, 2021 by ironpony

[Wiseman2]

55 minutes ago, ironpony said:

 giving off an unprofessional impression.  

Then do that. Be professional and don't make people so uncomfortable that employees and supervisors, whatever are complaining. Ironically your thread title turned out to be the opposite where apperently, you were "taking things too far at work".

Re-read your handbook, re-read the form and follow the rules. Stop arguing with people, don't make people uncomfortable and hopefully things work out.

[ironpony]

I can do that and be professional, it's just I am worried that she will do say something indescrete again like I love you, or asking me to share a fork, etc.  I am worried that she might say something like that in the future still.

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, ironpony said:

I can do that and be professional, it's just I am worried that she will do .

They spoke to you and had you sign a form. You can only control what you do.

[usa1ah]

3 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Have you read the update?

HR came to him and got him to sign a form after "complaints" about his interactions with her. 

I guess I missed that. Just goes to show how petty some hateful people can be. If the company doesn’t have a policy about dating coworkers then they should have told those complaining to mind their own damn business.