We work for the same employer but not in the same building. Does this sound like she is interested?

October 27, 2021

9 hours ago, princessaurora said:

Any updates @IntBrowser?

Nope, nothing since I gave her my number

October 27, 2021

It's only Tuesday. She may be working up the nerve to call you or email you again.

October 27, 2021

Do you have any opportunity to see her through work? We don’t know if she will get back in touch with you but you took a shot. Reminds me of a Wayne Gretzky quote “you will miss 100% of the shots you never take”. So good for you for trying. If you get the chance to take another shot, please come here first so we can help improve your odds of scoring lol. Seriously though, don’t pin all your hopes on Ms. 10. Get out there and explore other opportunities.

October 27, 2021

34 minutes ago, Nothanks said:

Do you have any opportunity to see her through work? We don’t know if she will get back in touch with you but you took a shot. Reminds me of a Wayne Gretzky quote “you will miss 100% of the shots you never take”. So good for you for trying. If you get the chance to take another shot, please come here first so we can help improve your odds of scoring lol. Seriously though, don’t pin all your hopes on Ms. 10. Get out there and explore other opportunities.

well the first thing I plan to do if by some miracle she sends me a text is to tell her she can call me by my first name.

October 27, 2021

32 minutes ago, IntBrowser said:

well the first thing I plan to do if by some miracle she sends me a text is to tell her she can call me by my first name.

How does she refer to you if not by your first name?

Edited October 27, 2021 by Nothanks

October 27, 2021

3 hours ago, IntBrowser said:

well the first thing I plan to do if by some miracle she sends me a text is to tell her she can call me by my first name.

Keep it professional. That she was interested in dating seems like your imagination.

October 27, 2021

8 hours ago, Nothanks said:

How does she refer to you if not by your first name?

This is a great question! Um, if on a basic "she doesn't use your name" in general, I'd be worried that the majority of this is in your head and we didn't get an accurate picture to advise you on.

In answer to your last post to me, welp it took her 4 weeks to be in touch the last time and now you give her your number WITHOUT a reason to be in touch and suddenly you think it's going to happen in a couple of days??? That's not going to be the new pace necessarily. Unreasonable to believe that.

Idk, but the pessimism (i get it that you are stressed about this but it's permeating everything and that's not attractive) and now with the first agenda item going to be schooling her so make sure she knows or uses your name is all a little too much. You are approaching this wrong IMO. Try to get the chip off your shoulder. A lot of the anxiety and insecurity is tied up in your own personal ego and need to succeed, it seems, rather than you actually liking her/knowing her well enough to and truly thinking about relationship agenda items vs your personal ego stuff agenda items. If you want to turn her off by reprimanding her in some way to use your name, prepare for this to go way south.

On the most basic of levels, if she is not using your name as in the emails she sends you, then I think you might have misjudged her interest. I can't think of anyone that sends me a work email that doesn't use my name from strangers to work colleagues that I'm very close to. Lol, you don't get spam emails from her, do you? Those are the only things that "sometimes" don't have my name and even those have computer-generated ones. I'm definitely not following this "use my name" business.

October 27, 2021

8 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Keep it professional. That she was interested in dating seems like your imagination.

How is using someone's name "unprofessional"?!?

However I'm still curious about what she calls you, if not by your name, @IntBrowser

October 27, 2021

12 hours ago, IntBrowser said:

well the first thing I plan to do if by some miracle she sends me a text is to tell her she can call me by my first name.

She calls you Mr. IntBrowser?

October 27, 2021

1 hour ago, ASG said:

How is using someone's name "unprofessional"?!?

However I'm still curious about what she calls you, if not by your name, @IntBrowser

I think wiseman is talking about the whole situation as far as trying to date her (now that it seems she doesn't call the OP by name, indicating it could be mostly in the imagination of the OP that she's interested at all).

I think, depending on your workplace and industry and work relation to each other (ie equals in different departments with no harassment possibility), it's still possible to pursue a relationship. I'd probably need more info now to see if that was wise. I don't doubt the OP entirely but if she literally doesn't know his name, offering up his number is premature. I really want to hear more about the conversation "flow" if he's open to sharing about it.

October 27, 2021

16 minutes ago, Versacehottie said:

I think wiseman is talking about the whole situation as far as trying to date her (now that it seems she doesn't call the OP by name, indicating it could be mostly in the imagination of the OP that she's interested at all).

I think, depending on your workplace and industry and work relation to each other (ie equals in different departments with no harassment possibility), it's still possible to pursue a relationship. I'd probably need more info now to see if that was wise. I don't doubt the OP entirely but if she literally doesn't know his name, offering up his number is premature. I really want to hear more about the conversation "flow" if he's open to sharing about it.

His name will be on the email she uses, since its a work email.

Maybe she uses his last name? Or calls him Mr? It's not necessarily uncommon for people to go by their last names (in an informal setting, regardless of whether it's work or not), but at the same time... no one needs permission to use their first names either...

October 27, 2021

The way in which she calls you by your last name is important. If she calls you Mr Browser, then this would indicate that you're in a position of seniority to her and this is very problematic. Or are the staff commonly called by their surnames, as in "Browser, can you update us on the project?"

Or, are both Drs and use formal names for each other?

October 28, 2021

19 hours ago, Nothanks said:

How does she refer to you if not by your first name?

she puts mister in front of my last name. That's how everyone greet each other at work

October 28, 2021

6 hours ago, Gaeta said:

She calls you Mr. IntBrowser?

yup lol

October 28, 2021

10 hours ago, Versacehottie said:

This is a great question! Um, if on a basic "she doesn't use your name" in general, I'd be worried that the majority of this is in your head and we didn't get an accurate picture to advise you on.

In answer to your last post to me, welp it took her 4 weeks to be in touch the last time and now you give her your number WITHOUT a reason to be in touch and suddenly you think it's going to happen in a couple of days??? That's not going to be the new pace necessarily. Unreasonable to believe that.

Idk, but the pessimism (i get it that you are stressed about this but it's permeating everything and that's not attractive) and now with the first agenda item going to be schooling her so make sure she knows or uses your name is all a little too much. You are approaching this wrong IMO. Try to get the chip off your shoulder. A lot of the anxiety and insecurity is tied up in your own personal ego and need to succeed, it seems, rather than you actually liking her/knowing her well enough to and truly thinking about relationship agenda items vs your personal ego stuff agenda items. If you want to turn her off by reprimanding her in some way to use your name, prepare for this to go way south.

On the most basic of levels, if she is not using your name as in the emails she sends you, then I think you might have misjudged her interest. I can't think of anyone that sends me a work email that doesn't use my name from strangers to work colleagues that I'm very close to. Lol, you don't get spam emails from her, do you? Those are the only things that "sometimes" don't have my name and even those have computer-generated ones. I'm definitely not following this "use my name" business.

well if she sends me a text I work my way to getting close. I think she slipped up and called me my name one time during the summer. We wasnt that close it was starting to happen and then we got transferred. So I was hoping to continue getting to know her now that we were at different sites, I guess me being a guy and a younger pretty woman thinking about me from a distance made me come to only one conclusion that she was interested. So if she wasnt interested in knowing me better what the hell was the point of contacting me? And it didnt have to be a dating thing it could have been a COOL thing. So she wasted my time and my eyesight lol

October 28, 2021

1 hour ago, IntBrowser said:

well if she sends me a text I work my way to getting close. I think she slipped up and called me my name one time during the summer. We wasnt that close it was starting to happen and then we got transferred. So I was hoping to continue getting to know her now that we were at different sites, I guess me being a guy and a younger pretty woman thinking about me from a distance made me come to only one conclusion that she was interested. So if she wasnt interested in knowing me better what the hell was the point of contacting me? And it didnt have to be a dating thing it could have been a COOL thing. So she wasted my time and my eyesight lol

oh well so you mean you work in a place that is very formal and she once broke that formality. Ok I know very few places like that...unless you are her superior or in some industry that I can barely imagine as a US citizen. Even superiors in workplaces I know mostly are called by their first names unless it's very formal or someone's far superior to (her job compared to yours).

Stop saying she wasted your time. And speaking fatalistically. If your workplace is that formal, i'd again expect this to take a lot longer and be more subtle and measured. I'd say you as much wasted your own time if you misunderstood her interest---but to be honest, I wouldn't say that either. All of these are necessary risks and you just aren't willing to play the long game, which is clearly what is needed here.

October 28, 2021

1 hour ago, IntBrowser said:

yup lol

Can you explain why? It's not clear.

Is it because you're the president or because she's half your age?

October 28, 2021

41 minutes ago, Versacehottie said:

oh well so you mean you work in a place that is very formal and she once broke that formality. Ok I know very few places like that...unless you are her superior or in some industry that I can barely imagine as a US citizen. Even superiors in workplaces I know mostly are called by their first names unless it's very formal or someone's far superior to (her job compared to yours).

Stop saying she wasted your time. And speaking fatalistically. If your workplace is that formal, i'd again expect this to take a lot longer and be more subtle and measured. I'd say you as much wasted your own time if you misunderstood her interest---but to be honest, I wouldn't say that either. All of these are necessary risks and you just aren't willing to play the long game, which is clearly what is needed here.

Why wouldnt I think she wasnt interested if she was wondering how I was doing? I didnt think someone who wasnt interested would care how I was doing.

October 28, 2021

31 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

Can you explain why? It's not clear.

Is it because you're the president or because she's half your age?

everyone refers to each other by their last name. Ms. or Mr. which I thought was weird. The people I started getting close to would remove the Mr. and just say my last name.

October 28, 2021

6 hours ago, IntBrowser said:

Why wouldnt I think she wasnt interested if she was wondering how I was doing? I didnt think someone who wasnt interested would care how I was doing.

Seriously? I enquireabout people's well being all the time. It doesn't mean I want to date every single one of them.

You guys had some sort of a connection, she decided to reach out. Why is that so hard to believe?

To start with, I thought it could be plausible that she was indeed interested, but now, that seems less likely.

However, considering how formal your workplace is (I mean... seriously... I've never heard of anything like it! Work colleagues treating each other my Ms or Mr?!?! Jesus!), maybe she's trying to figure out how to approach you after you gave her your number.

October 28, 2021

I still think it;s the indifference in your email. I'm not gonna lie, Int. I cringed when I read what you send her. She's probably thinking " He said my emails get lost in the shuffle, so if I send another one, he might not even see it, but then I feel weird calling him without a reason, so wth am I supposed to do?" That's how I would feel. Hopefully eventually she'll bite the bullet and do something though, if she's interested. I guess we'll have to see.

October 28, 2021

11 hours ago, IntBrowser said:

Why wouldnt I think she wasnt interested if she was wondering how I was doing? I didnt think someone who wasnt interested would care how I was doing.

ok well that's a hop, skip and a leap from just a "wrap-it-up" line (or even a goodbye in a way since you were moving locations) to ROMANTIC interest. It could have been a totally innocuous statement, just politeness or even someone who wants to stay in touch for the business work connections/future work opportunities (yes people do that even with a sort of touch of flirtation--actually in a workplace that utilizes mr/ms and last names, um it seems like work is extremely important with that level of formality so I can imagine this).

But one of the options could be romantic interest. It's not an informal work place and you both shy seemingly AND there's no reason to reach out to you and the pace has been SLOW already so time will tell. I hope you aren't "blaming" her that you potentially misread her interest. I kind of feel that tone a little bit and if it is there, that's a hostile way to be. Ok, I'm going to assume it's not for purposes of continuing to answer your questions. I'd say at the very least you need a thicker skin for all of this. You realize that dating is putting yourself out there, right? Risk/reward, and yes sometime disappointments...but there is no other way to get there. Also you typically can't get there without some practice and if you think a simple question of how are you doing is blown up to romantic interest, you might need more experience. Not trying to put you down at all.

What I'm really curious that you haven't expanded on is what was this conversation flow that supposedly happened previously? And what were the conversations about? I think that will give insight into how believable it is that this is something with romantic potential..

Edited October 28, 2021 by Versacehottie

October 28, 2021

12 hours ago, IntBrowser said:

Ms. or Mr. which I thought was weird. The people I started getting close to would remove the Mr. and just say my last name.

Connect on LinkedIn, since this is clearly networking/staying in touch situation, not a dating opportunity or hidden attraction.

October 28, 2021

3 hours ago, princessaurora said:

I still think it;s the indifference in your email. I'm not gonna lie, Int. I cringed when I read what you send her. She's probably thinking " He said my emails get lost in the shuffle, so if I send another one, he might not even see it, but then I feel weird calling him without a reason, so wth am I supposed to do?" That's how I would feel. Hopefully eventually she'll bite the bullet and do something though, if she's interested. I guess we'll have to see.

i figured i would screw it up because i have no experience in communicating with someone im attracted to and getting their number. I was on begging for assistance before i sent the email and someone on here wanted to ask her out on company email. I definitely wasnt doing that. What i never understood is why does it seem like its a big secret as to what im supposed to say to a woman when flirting.

October 28, 2021

1 hour ago, Versacehottie said:

ok well that's a hop, skip and a leap from just a "wrap-it-up" line (or even a goodbye in a way since you were moving locations) to ROMANTIC interest. It could have been a totally innocuous statement, just politeness or even someone who wants to stay in touch for the business work connections/future work opportunities (yes people do that even with a sort of touch of flirtation--actually in a workplace that utilizes mr/ms and last names, um it seems like work is extremely important with that level of formality so I can imagine this).

But one of the options could be romantic interest. It's not an informal work place and you both shy seemingly AND there's no reason to reach out to you and the pace has been SLOW already so time will tell. I hope you aren't "blaming" her that you potentially misread her interest. I kind of feel that tone a little bit and if it is there, that's a hostile way to be. Ok, I'm going to assume it's not for purposes of continuing to answer your questions. I'd say at the very least you need a thicker skin for all of this. You realize that dating is putting yourself out there, right? Risk/reward, and yes sometime disappointments...but there is no other way to get there. Also you typically can't get there without some practice and if you think a simple question of how are you doing is blown up to romantic interest, you might need more experience. Not trying to put you down at all.

What I'm really curious that you haven't expanded on is what was this conversation flow that supposedly happened previously? And what were the conversations about? I think that will give insight into how believable it is that this is something with romantic potential..

i wasnt even thinking about her until she sent me a email 3 weeks later. Now i wish she had just left me alone

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We work for the same employer but not in the same building. Does this sound like she is interested?

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