6 months relationship, She was my rebound but I love her. what do ?

[alpra01]

Hello, i'm new here, i'm 34y old

I have been in a 4y relationship with someone, cried a lot, lost lots of weight, couldn't eat, break up was really difficult...

One month later... i met a girl on a date app, she was 31y old, connexion was very good at first, we met each other and it was very nice, i liked spending time with her and we became a couple fast.

The relationship was good but i was feeling "empty" probably due to my recent break up, I liked to be alone the week and wanted to be with her only one week end, she hated that, and she though I was neglecting her.

I am an artist and she asked me to do a logo for her job, i started it... and she broke up with me a week later. (relationship lasted 6 months)

She wanted to be friends and stay in contact, i asked her is it for the logo ? she said no i like you and i don't want to cut contact, it's just that you neglected me too much and now i'm protecting myself.

I told her that "i will finish the logo, but i don't want to be your friend." so she kinda knew, after the logo, that i would cut contact with her.

I did many things to get another chance, i told her "i love you", i kissed her hands, i cried, i made her a gift... she said why you never did all those things before ?? it's what i wanted and now it's too late.

She is a stubborn person (she is a military).

I decided to go No contact, but she wanted to stay in touch and talk like friends, i said no i want to be in relationship with you, do you think we still have a chance to get back together ? she said "we don't know what the futur is made of" i told her, how i can show some changes if i can't meet you ? and she replied "to be honest, i'm not ready to see you again". Then i said "ok, i give up" she replied "ok sorry to be annoying, wish you the best" and she deleted me everywhere.

She still came back from time to time talking about her logo (i believe it was important because if i didn't make it, she would look stupid at her job) so i finished it.. and sent it to her 9 days ago, she was happy, she said thank you very much, i said no problem, and she smiled ":)".

since that i am in NC, so the relationship lasted 6 months, we broke up a month ago, i chased 2 weeks, and i'm in NC for 9 days now, i know i could have done better in the relationship and i know she is a good girl, but i really don't think it was a good idea to stay her "friend" that's why i tried to be clear. 

Someone told me i should not have said "i give up" but well, i was chasing her a lot for around 2 weeks, that's why i said that.

I think she really liked me at first, but she slowly lost attraction because i was empty, i don't think i was a bad person with her, i'm always funny and nice to talk to, but i was not romantically involved enough in the relationship.

She was talking about mariage a few months ago and now she left me like that, coldly... She said "sorry i know i'm cold and selfish when i'm protecting myself"... and yeah she is ! lol

my friend said i was stupid to make the logo, but i wanted to make her happy, i felt guilty that i didn't take care of her enough.

Do you think i could hope for something ? i really love her and i'm full of regrets...

i checked on the date app i met her, she is not on it anymore, didn't see her on other app too, maybe she met someone already or maybe she just want to be alone, i don't know.

thanks for your advice!

Edited October 12, 2021 by alpra01