Jessica5738 Posted October 10, 2021 Posted October 10, 2021 I was talking with my first girlfriend (I am a girl) for about 6 months. We broke up a few days ago because she needs space to work on herself. The end goal is us being friends and she's specified and maybe in the future getting back together but I just want to date again and I don't even want to try to get over her. The weird thing is I was having those thoughts too because of some issues but now that she's gone I feel almost obsessive. She doesn't want any contact so I can't even text her. I know it's for the best but it hurts. There are times when it seems completely right but then it hurts again. The thought of either of us dating anyone else horrifies me and I'm experiencing a lot of anxiety for the first time. I can't bring myself to eat and when I do, oftentimes I throw up. I have no interest in anything and have become suicidal. I always have had those thoughts, but been able to ignore them but they're more persistent. I know I can get over her, but I don't want to. It hurts too that I know I'll probably have to go no contact for months and we had so many plans together. I'm scared if I let myself feel how I want to be feeling then I'll get into a deep depression for like half a year. I am not sure I can take another depressive episode.
Author Jessica5738 Posted October 10, 2021 Author Posted October 10, 2021 It still just doesn't seem real..
ExpatInItaly Posted October 10, 2021 Posted October 10, 2021 34 minutes ago, Jessica5738 said: I have no interest in anything and have become suicidal. Do you have family or friends near you right now? Please reach out to them. Or call a suicide hotline in your area. Your life is far too precious to throw away. 1
smackie9 Posted October 10, 2021 Posted October 10, 2021 It's perfectly normal to have those feelings. It's a process called "healing" you will move on from this, all it takes is time. You will start to feel better in a couple of weeks, then a few more a weight is lifted off your shoulders. There is light at the end of the tunnel. In the meantime you must find things to keep you busy. You will adjust, and move on. It's part of life, and you will be fine. 1
Wiseman2 Posted October 10, 2021 Posted October 10, 2021 (edited) 1 hour ago, Jessica5738 said: I was talking with my first girlfriend (I am a girl) for about 6 months. We broke up a few days ago because she needs space to work on herself. I'm scared if I let myself feel how I want to be feeling then I'll get into a deep depression for like half a year. I am not sure I can take another depressive episode. Sorry this happened. How old is she? Heartbreaks hurt, it's ok to feel a little confused and down. It's very important to take care of your mental an physical health as your # 1 priority. Make an appointment with your doctor about the major depressive episodes and ask for a referral to a qualified therapist for ongoing support. This or any other relationship won't go well if you're not taking care of yourself. Edited October 10, 2021 by Wiseman2
Author Jessica5738 Posted October 11, 2021 Author Posted October 11, 2021 16 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: Sorry this happened. How old is she? Heartbreaks hurt, it's ok to feel a little confused and down. It's very important to take care of your mental an physical health as your # 1 priority. Make an appointment with your doctor about the major depressive episodes and ask for a referral to a qualified therapist for ongoing support. This or any other relationship won't go well if you're not taking care of yourself. She is 19, I am 20. This is my first college relationship and I did not understand boundaries. I know we both took each other for granted at times but now all I can think about is how she is like the most perfect girl in the entire world and the only one I want and can see myself with. She's so insanely pretty and nice and we worked so well together. I only want to be with her. And I'm so annoyed I didn't fully feel like that in the relationship. And I am anxious if in the future I get with other people, I will constantly be comparing them to her. I am going to see a counselor tomorrow and it feels like eons away. I'm a little nervous because I've had bad past therapy experiences but I am desperate for help right now. Days are going by so slowly. I can handle depression, but anxiety is slowly killing me. I am starving but can't eat. I can't focus on anything. All I can do is pace. Or I smoke and everythings alright but I've developed a cough now and I feel bad because my throat hurts a lot and I don't want to be dependent on anything but. Urg. I'm tired of not being able to eat and throwing up and just this constant feeling. 1
Author Jessica5738 Posted October 11, 2021 Author Posted October 11, 2021 On 10/10/2021 at 3:56 PM, ExpatInItaly said: Do you have family or friends near you right now? Please reach out to them. Or call a suicide hotline in your area. Your life is far too precious to throw away. I am seeing a therapist tomorrow and skipping school to go to my sister's house for the weekend.
Foxhall Posted October 11, 2021 Posted October 11, 2021 5 minutes ago, Jessica5738 said: I am seeing a therapist tomorrow and skipping school to go to my sister's house for the weekend. Yes reach out to your family and friends, and therapists- they will help you through this, time is a healer believe it or not, you are meant to have these break up experiences now, it will help you to find yourself as a person, hugs.
Author Jessica5738 Posted October 12, 2021 Author Posted October 12, 2021 3 hours ago, Foxhall said: Yes reach out to your family and friends, and therapists- they will help you through this, time is a healer believe it or not, you are meant to have these break up experiences now, it will help you to find yourself as a person, hugs. Thank you, I'm just hoping we will get back together because we talked about that being an option. My ex is flying me to Utah to visit him and I think that will be a good break too as I used to be madly in love with him and now we're friends.
Foxhall Posted October 12, 2021 Posted October 12, 2021 Yes staying friends can soften the blow-not as final. 1
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