dramafreezone Posted October 11, 2021 Posted October 11, 2021 (edited) On 10/9/2021 at 12:54 PM, Romchik said: My name is Roman. I'm from Ukraine. I am 38 years old. I have a university degree and a good job. I am healthy and I feel great. But there is one problem, I cannot meet a girl who would love me and not use me. I have been trying for many years to get acquainted on dating sites, but to no avail. Mostly dating scammers meet me and try to steal money from me, playing with my feelings. Four years ago, my girlfriend died of cancer. And since then, I can't get to meet anyone else, no matter how hard I try. I don't know where the problem lies. I've tried every possible way. When communicating and on dates, I behave well, but the girls do not seem to notice me. On the other hand, there are other guys who do not work and lead an immoral lifestyle, they have no education, no money. Even they manage to find a girlfriend and this girl falls in love with him. I do not understand what is wrong with me. This idea that you "need" someone, is undoubtedly evident by women you interact with. It seems against what you would expect, but it appears to me that the opposite sex doesn't want to give attention to the people that need it. In fact its the opposite, we're most attracted to people that appear to already have an abundance of attention paid to them. It goes to simple human nature. You pass by a brand new restaurant, but no one's in it, are you inclined to want to go in it? If the owner was outside begging to get people in, what would you think of him? You'd be suspicious, right? If this restaruant was so good, why is he begging people to come in? That's why On 10/9/2021 at 3:42 PM, Gaeta said: Tell all your friends and co-workers that you are single and looking and you are open to meet any single ladies they might know. this is just not that effective in my experience. It seems like it should be, but it is not. No one wants someone that's pleading to be matched up. The subconscious reasoning being, just like the restaurant above, is if he was so good, why doesn't anyone else want him? Or more importantly, why should I go out with him when this guy here has the courage to ask me out himself? That said it is possible that some woman that's tired of going after the guy that cheats on her might just be willing to give this guy a chance. Sometimes setups work if the timing is right, but in my experience dating setups have a low success rate. I think there's other things he needs to work on with himself. OP the single best thing you can do is you need to get rid of this thirsty vibe that you have. No one wants the responsibility of being the center of your life. You say you have a great job and you're in great shape, focus even more on that. Enjoy the fruits of your labor, go vacation, travel. Traveling is such a huge thing now, you go to some different countries, take photos and post them on your social media, all of a sudden you look like a guy that's living a very interesting life, because you ARE. Basically, build a life that someone wants to and can see themselves being a part of. It's nice that you're a great guy, but you have to paint a good picture too. Edited October 11, 2021 by dramafreezone 1
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