murtucky Posted October 19, 2005 Posted October 19, 2005 Ok i have been seeing this girl for about a year... she moved after 3 months, i visited her for a week while she was gone for 4-5 months, she came back for 3 months, she said she was moving home to be with me then her and her mom decided it was best she leave again. and now shes going to be gone for a year with one or two trips back home. she is electric. beautiful. we have a lot of chemistry. i love her. she thinks im handsome, and respects the security that i bring her... we both agree that we want to live an interesting and successful life together. she said she would move to me when she is done with school (but somehow i get the feeling that its not 100%, more like 50%-50%) she moves around too much. i broke up with her when she came back last summer. she was very distant and i did not like what i saw... a month later we got back together. things were par for the course. she left for school in the pacific islands again at the end of aug. mother gives her delusions of the world, how she needs to be into money, and a padded life...no moving in with boyfriends before marriage. watch out for me because i am in love with her. when she has come back, she raves how i am the best thing that has happened to her. she talks of being together and how we make such a good team. when she is away, its "i feel like i am living two lives." and "lets just keep it light". she's right. but to continue exclusivity on my part, i need to know i am a priority. if given a chance, (which she seems to favor in the next year when her schooling is done), we could really shine. we both know we are good together. end of story. her actions are really confounding me, i dont feel like i am a priority. but how much can we really do half way around the world???? i dont get really much from her, a call every couple o days... light conversations, nothing too meaty. she tells me that she loves me, and misses me. but she does not want to plan for the future, too much pressure for her. i feel like i am the one keeping this together, it takes a lot of commitment and passion to make a longdistance thing work... i am not a big fan of chasing a dangling carrot! does someone really breakup with a person who is halfway around the world? if i feel that i cannot count on her, what are my next steps??? what is the last straw???
MJ1 Posted October 21, 2005 Posted October 21, 2005 Ive been through exactly the same recently. Im 26 and she was 23. We've now split (she dumped me) - she didnt want commitment and thought i deserved more. She says she fell out of love, but Im not sure with all the texts she sends. Still - you have to accept it. I did all the chasing, made all the romantic moves and gave her everything.... whats the point if you get nothing in return? Its so hard to move on, but I dont want to be with anyone that cant give the same level of commitment as I do. Its clear you love her so I'd say talk to her, dont pile on the pressure and dont focus too much on the future. Dont let her think you're needy!! Also try reducing the level of communication to her level - if you dont keep phoning, texting, emailing (its easily done) she has more time to think about you and will hopefully take you more seriously. Mothers can be very difficult. Im sure my ex's mother was a big influence. I cant stand her now. They think they know best, but dont always understand whats best for their daughters. Its just being protective and needy becasue they want them for themselves. Stand your ground mate and dont take any sh**!
Author murtucky Posted October 21, 2005 Author Posted October 21, 2005 well it sounds like proper advice... can you tell me more details about her actions and the timeline with your situation???
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