Never Had a Girlfriend, Ugly.

October 3, 2021

Well, that's the catchy headline, obviously there's a little more to it than this. I apologise for the long post, I'm just trying to cover all the bases as obviously I'm a complete stranger.

In short, I'm 27, male, 5 foot 10, about 170lbs/77KG/12stone in pretty reasonable shape. I'm fully employed, renting, I have a bunch of wonderful friends, eat healthily and exercise regularly, and enjoy other hobbies. On paper, I should feel on top of the world, and yet I just feel awful.

I'm not attractive. And please, let's skip the "but nobody's ugly!" or "there's someone for everyone!" or "you're just not believing enough!" stuff (I get the last one a lot). At 29, I have never had a girlfriend, or any sort of relationship. I used to sporadically get a date, and have had a few drunken one-night-stands, in all instances the other party is not interested in seeing me again. With online dating, I get zero matches. It's a real kick in the teeth to know 100% of the women took one look at a photo of me and thought "no way!". Have also tried speed dating, which proved no better. Shy of hiring out a billboard, I'm running low on ideas.

I understand I am not the first male to ever have this problem, but statistically it's quite an anomaly. Most people have their first girlfriend around 13, or for late bloomers their college years, or even just early 20s. As I get closer to 30, with no woman ever being interested in me, the future is looking scary.

I've spent a lot of time online looking to see if there are others who faced this particular problem, but I can't find an exact match. A lot of men who post similar complaints are those who may be unemployed, or too socially anxious to talk to women, undertake no exercise or have no other hobbies/avenues of meeting new people. One such hobby I have is on the swing-dancing scene; a vibrant scene which has a favourable ratio of young women to men. I also go to regular "meetup" groups, where young people meet each other in a casual bar setting. I enjoy these meetups, the people are friendly, but I notice the single women rejecting me and being drawn to others.
What it chalks down to for me, is that if I have no belief that this situation will change, I fear I will end up taking my own life. My only goal in life is to be happy, and that's not going to happen in a world in which I'm unwanted.

I have tried telling my friends this, hoping they may suggest something that could help me out, but unfortunately they do not believe me when I tell them. Like, really, they are convinced it "must" be something else. It must be that I'm not confident enough, I'm trying too hard, not trying hard enough, I'm too picky, not picky enough, must be a problem with my job, must be a problem with where I live, must be a problem with my childhood; nobody seems to believe me when I tell them in plainest English that being ugly is literally my only problem.

I have tried posting in online support forums before, but a lot of the responses I got seemed very unhelpful: a lot of responses trying to push religion, or "just keep going". Seriously, any sensible responses would be much appreciated.

October 3, 2021

OK so what is" ugly" about you?
What makes you "ugly"?

October 3, 2021

How is your sense of humor? Do you know lots of funny stories and jokes (not insulting) and if so, do you tell them while speaking to women?

October 3, 2021

Without seeing your picture it's a bit hard to say whether it is just down to how you look or not.

Regardless, I've seen plenty of men I would consider to not have been blessed with good looks, have girlfriends/wives.

October 3, 2021

Given that you have a solid friend group and are active in the community, I believe your suspicions about your appearance have merit.

First things first, have you asked advice from a good hairdresser on a cut which is more flattering to your face? Do a search of "male haircut before and after" and you'll see some remarkable results. BoredPanda in particular has a page with 134 transformations which are amazing. Some of the guys were seriously unattractive before their new cuts.

If the change of hair doesn't work and your fashion choices are solid, have you considered speaking to a plastic surgeon? I'm not talking about a whole new face, but possibly there's one feature which is letting you down? receding jaw/problem nose/caveman brows? Again, there's some great work in reconstruction.

October 3, 2021

If you’re ugly, chances are you’ll need to date equally ugly women. Are you willing to do that?

Also being “employed” doesn’t mean having a career. If you just have a job rather than a profession, you’ll want to up your skill set.

Finally, you’re also at a tough age. Women your age and younger are at their peak “market value”, have a ton of options and many aren’t looking to settle down any time soon.

October 3, 2021

4 minutes ago, Weezy1973 said:

you’ll need to date equally ugly women

Define ugly. For example, I think that some Hollywood actresses are pretty homely but then I read what men say about them. According to men, they are prettiest things on this planet and they would sell their soul to get a chance to get into their pants. Or look at some models with the "unconventional" look. One might think that they are not pretty enough to be a model but apparently the ugly is all in.

October 3, 2021

Just now, Alvi said:

Define ugly. For example, I think that some Hollywood actresses are pretty homely but then I read what men say about them. According to men, they are prettiest things on this planet and they would sell their soul to get a chance to get into their pants. Or look at some models with the "unconventional" look. One might think that they are not pretty enough to be a model but apparently the ugly is all in.

Sure but in general some people have more options due to their looks than others. If you have few options due to your looks, we would consider that ugly. If you have many options we would consider that good looking. If you have some options, most of which you yourself are not attracted to, but some that you are, that would be average.

October 4, 2021

57 minutes ago, basil67 said:

If the change of hair doesn't work and your fashion choices are solid, have you considered speaking to a plastic surgeon? I'm not talking about a whole new face, but possibly there's one feature which is letting you down? receding jaw/problem nose/caveman brows? Again, there's some great work in reconstruction.

Oh, that's pretty extreme. Even if he gets some work done on his face, there still no guarantee that he is going to land a girlfriend. How about hiring a stylist and a dating coach first? And maybe a couple of visits to a phycologist.

I went to a high school with one dude who literally looked like a troll. He was very short, like maybe 5'2. He had red hair, crocked teeth and a very bad skin covered with acne. He wasn't very athletic, he didn't belong to any clubs or groups. He wasn't into anything. He wasn't very popular and kept more to himself. He wasn't very smart, he was always getting low marks in his subjects (I knew that because I was in some of his classes). He wasn't a very good conversationalist based on the few times that I spoke to him. He wasn't rich. At many times he looked unkept with the greasy hair and wore wrinkly old out of shape clothes. He would be someone that people say has nothing going for him. But for the three years of high school he was never without a girlfriend. Not just one girl. Many different girlfriends. What was his charm that attracted girls to him? No clue. I saw a girl or two throwing herself at him. So if a guy like him can land girls, there is a hope to every guy on this planet.

Edited October 4, 2021 by Alvi

October 4, 2021

32 minutes ago, Weezy1973 said:

If you’re ugly, chances are you’ll need to date equally ugly women. Are you willing to do that?

Such a valid point. Not that I believe that people have to date by how they look, but most people out there do it, so it's true he will need to be open to that. It is soo lame when guys complain about women not wanting them and yet they turn their noses up at unattractive women.

@SpoonySpoon Yep, there are ugly looking people in the world, I am not one to say that there aren't. I myself am one. Something you should consider is this, that your worth is not linked in any way to your appearance. You need to grasp that fact for yourself, and embed it inside your heart.

Others can give advice on finding a relationship side of things, but as far as how you view yourself, that needs to change.

October 4, 2021

Hmmmmmm ... sorry to hear of your disappointment in dating. Sounds painful and demoralizing.

You've got friends and a good job and a good lifestyle, it seems. That's great.

First question: are you going after the "beauty queens" on these sites? This is a problem for many people. They've taken polls and most of us rate our looks higher than other people rate our looks. The best thing about dating In Real Life, it seems to me, is that you get to experience the whole person and the more wonderful someone's personality is, basically the more attractive the person becomes in my eyes. Not too long ago, I saw a woman at a conference and at first glance, I didn't find her attractive at all. Well turns out she was a major speaker at this conference. OMG five minutes into her talk, I was in love. She had charisma and energy and humor out the wazoo.

I'm wondering if you can show your profile to some of your friends, including some women. Same with photos. If you think your looks are not your asset, then you gotta write a kickbutt profile. Most likely your profile suffers from the "sell yourself" focus. People often try so hard to make themselves appealing that they actually leave out real qualities that would strike a chord with others. A good step is to think of emphasizing your passions, what you are most deeply interested in. You'll end up highlighting your strengths that way. Also make it clear what you really love about your life right now, as it is, with no woman in the picture. We all want to get together with someone who has a thriving, interesting, fun life.

If your friends cannot help, then really dig into some youtube videos or online stuff about how to write an appealing profile if you think you aren't great looking. Google "tips for people who are unattractive"--something like that. You'll find a lot of good advice. I only use the term "unattractive" because you use that term and you advised us not to try to tell you that you're mistaken.

In addition to getting help with the written part of the profile, you probably would benefit from hiring a professional photographer. Interestingly, some of the best photographers will want to learn about you and your interests and personality before they take your photo, so that they can shoot you in locations and in poses that reflect your interests and your strengths.

The most gorgeous people in the world benefit from photographers to take pix from their best side, from the right angle, in the right lighting and so on. I had a friend who used to write about the movie and music industries. She once told me how there was a certain woman star (whose name I'll leave out) who was oddly knock kneed. This star's agent told my buddy that you will never see camera shots of this woman from behind--the camera folks didn't want to show those knock knees. I also remember reading an article by Tina Fey, and she was basically saying to women, do NOT trust the way stars in look in magazine photos. Not only is there a professional camera person who is expert at making the star look good--and who spends hours sometimes on various shots to do so-- but then later even those photos get photoshopped and airbrushed. Oh, and of course, before the photoshoot, the stars get these amazing and intense makeup jobs, expert makeup jobs especially tailored to improving the person's appearance in photos.

So if the stars benefit from special photographic work, then those of us who are less than gorgeous probably need the same help, right? The goal here is to up your numbers in meeting people and when you meet people, they get a sense of the whole you and you can connect that way.

And I have to tell you: I know a lot of women who really don't need a man to be particularly handsome. One of my close friends used to say that the guy's grooming was more important to her than his looks per se.

Edited October 4, 2021 by Lotsgoingon

October 4, 2021

31 minutes ago, Alvi said:

Oh, that's pretty extreme. Even if he gets some work done on his face, there still no guarantee that he is going to land a girlfriend. How about hiring a stylist and a dating coach first? And maybe a couple of visits to a phycologist.

I went to a high school with one dude who literally looked like a troll. He was very short, like maybe 5'2. He had red hair, crocked teeth and a very bad skin covered with acne. He wasn't very athletic, he didn't belong to any clubs or groups. He wasn't into anything. He wasn't very popular and kept more to himself. He wasn't very smart, he was always getting low marks in his subjects (I knew that because I was in some of his classes). He wasn't a very good conversationalist based on the few times that I spoke to him. He wasn't rich. At many times he looked unkept with the greasy hair and wore wrinkly old out of shape clothes. He would be someone that people say has nothing going for him. But for the three years of high school he was never without a girlfriend. Not just one girl. Many different girlfriends. What was his charm that attracted girls to him? No clue. I saw a girl or two throwing herself at him. So if a guy like him can land girls, there is a hope to every guy on this planet.

I gave the advice I did because the OP sounds like he has solid social skills, he's active in the community and he's not a HS dweeb who's yet to grow into himself. If he was Mr No Friends who lives in a basement and never goes out, my advice would have been very different.

Edited October 4, 2021 by basil67

October 4, 2021

Improve your vibe/energy mate and see the results. Your vibe/energy trumps looks any day of the week, seen it happen with my own two eyes, it even happened to me!

Guy all my friends thought was super ugly, I thought was HOT as hell because of his great energy, confidence and how we vibed.

Even my friends starting warming up to him, finding him attractive!

I hate the word "ugly," it's so subjective and everyone has beauty in their own way and style and if often radiates from within. And then shines outwardly.

Learn to love yourself, warts and all. Accept yourself. Find beauty within yourself and you can manifest great things including attracting people to you, including women.

Edited October 4, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
language

October 4, 2021

When I was yor age. I was similar to you.

shorter end around 5-9 and weighing around the same 175 ish.

I had some gfs in my early 20s and had female friends. My problem was always the initial meet like at a bar. In collegethru class or social groups I could slowly meet someone which then led to dates. I had very little luck at bars or random meets.

in my later 20s I moved away for grad school and my career so meeting people didn’t happen for me. I had worked some jobs when in grad school that I met women thru but nothing led to anything.

the best luck I had in meeting people for dates was through online sites to st least get to dates. It got me to some relationships but nothing serious.

the question I have for you

1 are you meeting women?
2 are you interactingvwith them?

3. what are you looking for? Are you realistic ?

October 4, 2021

1 hour ago, basil67 said:

I gave the advice I did because the OP sounds like he has solid social skills, he's active in the community and he's not a HS dweeb who's yet to grow into himself. If he was Mr No Friends who lives in a basement and never goes out, my advice would have been very different.

All I am saying that even if that guy from my HS could date women, sure anybody can. Sure, the OP meets women though the meet ups, but what is he really like in those outings? Is he friendly, funny and upbeat or is he cold and aloof? How he acts around people and women in general? How exactly he interacts with the women when he meets them, what is he saying to them? Maybe he says something that turns them off, who knows. Maybe he talks too much, maybe he doesn't talk at all. How he presents himself, that is the question What are his facial expressions are like when he talks? Like on this forum, a guy asked a woman out but later called her a loser in a joke-type of way. Can you blame a woman for no longer wanting to go out with him after that, lol. Maybe, this is the case with the OP, who knows.

October 4, 2021

28 minutes ago, Alvi said:

All I am saying that even if that guy from my HS could date women, sure anybody can....

I stand by my comment

October 4, 2021

Some things:

1) Have you tried an image consultant? You can find some people on Linkedin that can help you improve your looks, define your wardrobe, your haircut, etc.

2) One very important thing is that this can't be your top priority, women smell desperation, and if you mix "ugly" with "desperation" you are toast. Define your priorities outside a romantic relationship and put your effort into them, continue developing your social circles, but really focus your energy in other priorities, if you do that the confidence will come, and believe me, confidence will overpower "ugly". Work on your self steem, believe me, 1) will help a lot, it did for me.

3) As someone said, one important thing here is that you have grounded expectations, I don't mean you would have to date the ugliest woman, but don't expect to date a super model. I don't know if you are expecting an idealized picture of a woman, or you are really grounded, that's what I mean.

October 4, 2021

If you are ugly, there are many plastic surgeons who can do small tweaks, and makes you look more attractive.

There is no shame in doing that. Go to a plastic surgeon and explore your options.

It's gonna be either your nose or Jaw or maybe a small filler to accentuate a certain part of your face. These are routine procedures! Do your research on the best plastic surgeons in your area. Don't ask your friends or family because they might either mock you or tell you that you look amazing you don't need that. Just do a consultation and see what the surgeon says.

Edited October 4, 2021 by Noproblem

October 4, 2021

1 hour ago, poppyfields said:

Improve your vibe/energy mate and see the results. Your vibe/energy trumps looks any day of the week, seen it happen with my own two eyes, it even happened to me!

Guy all my friends thought was ugly AF, I thought was HOT as hell because of his great energy, confidence and how we vibed.

Even my friends starting warming up to him, finding him attractive!

I hate the word "ugly," it's so subjective and everyone has beauty in their own way and style and if often radiates from within. And then shines outwardly.

Learn to love yourself, warts and all. Accept yourself. Find beauty within yourself and you can manifest great things including attracting people to you, including women.

he can't just wake up and be confident with great energy, can he?

Is it a button?

Oh I am going to be amazing today and have a fantastic personality and people will love me for it.

No, he can't do that on command. He might still possess these qualities among his friends, but he can't express them in front of strangers because he has image issues. He thinks he is ugly, he might be ugly or he might have phycological issues that need treatment. Bottom line, he can't just love himself on command.
It does not work this way, otherwise everyone would love themselves on command and everyone would be content and happy.

Edited October 4, 2021 by Noproblem

October 4, 2021

2 hours ago, Alvi said:

Oh, that's pretty extreme. Even if he gets some work done on his face, there still no guarantee that he is going to land a girlfriend. How about hiring a stylist and a dating coach first? And maybe a couple of visits to a phycologist.

not it's not extreme. Why is it extreme, teenagers now go to plastic surgeons to do lips filling and other stuff all the time. Is it extreme for a guy in his 27 to see a plastic surgeon to fix his "ugliness"?

Why is that extreme, I don't get it?

and No, even if he becomes more good looking, that doesn't mean he will land a girlfriend.

There is no such thing as a guarantees in life. But at least he would have fixed one of his problems.

Also I agree, he needs to see a phycologist too!

Edited October 4, 2021 by Noproblem

October 4, 2021

8 hours ago, Alvi said:

How is your sense of humor? Do you know lots of funny stories and jokes (not insulting) and if so, do you tell them while speaking to women?

I'm told by people that I'm funny, which is nice, but I'm just saying, women aren't pushing past Brad Pitt to get to Jerry Seinfeld anytime soon.

4 hours ago, Weezy1973 said:

If you’re ugly, chances are you’ll need to date equally ugly women. Are you willing to do that?

Also being “employed” doesn’t mean having a career. If you just have a job rather than a profession, you’ll want to up your skill set.

Finally, you’re also at a tough age. Women your age and younger are at their peak “market value”, have a ton of options and many aren’t looking to settle down any time soon.

1) Sure, I'm fairly open minded.

2) Agreed, I've always worked fairly practical jobs within construction, as of Covid I've begun to re-train on the path to becoming an engineer. I'm a few years away from completing it, but it's not like I'm flipping burgers.

3) Not looking to settle down, never said I was.

2 hours ago, Lotsgoingon said:

Hmmmmmm ... sorry to hear of your disappointment in dating. Sounds painful and demoralizing.

You've got friends and a good job and a good lifestyle, it seems. That's great.

First question: are you going after the "beauty queens" on these sites? This is a problem for many people. They've taken polls and most of us rate our looks higher than other people rate our looks. The best thing about dating In Real Life, it seems to me, is that you get to experience the whole person and the more wonderful someone's personality is, basically the more attractive the person becomes in my eyes. Not too long ago, I saw a woman at a conference and at first glance, I didn't find her attractive at all. Well turns out she was a major speaker at this conference. OMG five minutes into her talk, I was in love. She had charisma and energy and humor out the wazoo.

I'm wondering if you can show your profile to some of your friends, including some women. Same with photos. If you think your looks are not your asset, then you gotta write a kickbutt profile. Most likely your profile suffers from the "sell yourself" focus. People often try so hard to make themselves appealing that they actually leave out real qualities that would strike a chord with others. A good step is to think of emphasizing your passions, what you are most deeply interested in. You'll end up highlighting your strengths that way. Also make it clear what you really love about your life right now, as it is, with no woman in the picture. We all want to get together with someone who has a thriving, interesting, fun life.

If your friends cannot help, then really dig into some youtube videos or online stuff about how to write an appealing profile if you think you aren't great looking. Google "tips for people who are unattractive"--something like that. You'll find a lot of good advice. I only use the term "unattractive" because you use that term and you advised us not to try to tell you that you're mistaken.

In addition to getting help with the written part of the profile, you probably would benefit from hiring a professional photographer. Interestingly, some of the best photographers will want to learn about you and your interests and personality before they take your photo, so that they can shoot you in locations and in poses that reflect your interests and your strengths.

The most gorgeous people in the world benefit from photographers to take pix from their best side, from the right angle, in the right lighting and so on. I had a friend who used to write about the movie and music industries. She once told me how there was a certain woman star (whose name I'll leave out) who was oddly knock kneed. This star's agent told my buddy that you will never see camera shots of this woman from behind--the camera folks didn't want to show those knock knees. I also remember reading an article by Tina Fey, and she was basically saying to women, do NOT trust the way stars in look in magazine photos. Not only is there a professional camera person who is expert at making the star look good--and who spends hours sometimes on various shots to do so-- but then later even those photos get photoshopped and airbrushed. Oh, and of course, before the photoshoot, the stars get these amazing and intense makeup jobs, expert makeup jobs especially tailored to improving the person's appearance in photos.

So if the stars benefit from special photographic work, then those of us who are less than gorgeous probably need the same help, right? The goal here is to up your numbers in meeting people and when you meet people, they get a sense of the whole you and you can connect that way.

And I have to tell you: I know a lot of women who really don't need a man to be particularly handsome. One of my close friends used to say that the guy's grooming was more important to her than his looks per se.

Nope, I assure you I'm not exclusively going after models and influencers. Sure, personality is great, but someone has to give you a chance before they can get to see your personality, which is a problem if the gate is closed very early on because they don't like the look of you.

See, I've done the 'showing my profile to female friends' bit, and everyone likes to pretend they're a bit of an expert, and will say things like "see THAT'S where you're going wrong!" and make a couple of changes to it, followed by nothing really changing at all. I've tried it all; photos of me doing sporting activities, with friends, I even borrowed a friend's labrador puppy for a photo, and if you can't get any interest with a labrador puppy you need to sit yourself down and ask yourself some questions.

2 hours ago, Ami1uwant said:

When I was yor age. I was similar to you.

the question I have for you

1 are you meeting women?
2 are you interactingvwith them?

3. what are you looking for? Are you realistic ?

1) Yes. I mean, Covid has given everything a bit of a hit, but in ordinary life, as I explained through my post, that I have various hobbies and outlets that attract young women and encourage socialisation.

2) See above.

3) I'm open minded. Honestly I'm just looking for a normal relationship; that thing that most people experience at the age of about 17, I'm not looking for the love of my life just yet.

2 hours ago, poppyfields said:

Improve your vibe/energy mate and see the results. Your vibe/energy trumps looks any day of the week, seen it happen with my own two eyes, it even happened to me!

Guy all my friends thought was ugly AF, I thought was HOT as hell because of his great energy, confidence and how we vibed.

Even my friends starting warming up to him, finding him attractive!

I hate the word "ugly," it's so subjective and everyone has beauty in their own way and style and if often radiates from within. And then shines outwardly.

Learn to love yourself, warts and all. Accept yourself. Find beauty within yourself and you can manifest great things including attracting people to you, including women.

Again, I never really considered myself 'ugly', it just seems to be the going opinion. I always figured I was somewhere in the ballpark of normal, but if you're hitting 30 without anyone finding you attractive, it's getting more difficult to feel normal.

October 4, 2021

5 minutes ago, SpoonySpoon said:

I'm told by people that I'm funny, which is nice, but I'm just saying, women aren't pushing past Brad Pitt to get to Jerry Seinfeld anytime soon.

1) Sure, I'm fairly open minded.

2) Agreed, I've always worked fairly practical jobs within construction, as of Covid I've begun to re-train on the path to becoming an engineer. I'm a few years away from completing it, but it's not like I'm flipping burgers.

3) Not looking to settle down, never said I was.

Nope, I assure you I'm not exclusively going after models and influencers. Sure, personality is great, but someone has to give you a chance before they can get to see your personality, which is a problem if the gate is closed very early on because they don't like the look of you.

See, I've done the 'showing my profile to female friends' bit, and everyone likes to pretend they're a bit of an expert, and will say things like "see THAT'S where you're going wrong!" and make a couple of changes to it, followed by nothing really changing at all. I've tried it all; photos of me doing sporting activities, with friends, I even borrowed a friend's labrador puppy for a photo, and if you can't get any interest with a labrador puppy you need to sit yourself down and ask yourself some questions.

1) Yes. I mean, Covid has given everything a bit of a hit, but in ordinary life, as I explained through my post, that I have various hobbies and outlets that attract young women and encourage socialisation.

2) See above.

3) I'm open minded. Honestly I'm just looking for a normal relationship; that thing that most people experience at the age of about 17, I'm not looking for the love of my life just yet.

Again, I never really considered myself 'ugly', it just seems to be the going opinion. I always figured I was somewhere in the ballpark of normal, but if you're hitting 30 without anyone finding you attractive, it's getting more difficult to feel normal.

you didn’t answer my questions.

can you actually approach and talk to women?

you say you aren’t attractive…but who are you focusing in on…the hot chicks?

October 4, 2021

When I was yor age. I was similar to you.

shorter end around 5-9 and weighing around the same 175 ish.

I had some gfs in my early 20s and had female friends. My problem was always the initial meet like at a bar. In collegethru class or social groups I could slowly meet someone which then led to dates. I had very little luck at bars or random meets.

in my later 20s I moved away for grad school and my career so meeting people didn’t happen for me. I had worked some jobs when in grad school that I met women thru but nothing led to anything.

the best luck I had in meeting people for dates was through online sites to st least get to dates. It got me to some relationships but nothing serious.

the question I have for you

1 are you meeting women?
2 are you interactingvwith them?

3. what are you looking for? Are you realistic ?

October 4, 2021

22 minutes ago, Ami1uwant said:

you didn’t answer my questions.

can you actually approach and talk to women?

you say you aren’t attractive…but who are you focusing in on…the hot chicks?

I apologise if my response was unclear.

Yes, I can approach and talk to women.

Not at all.

October 4, 2021

12 hours ago, SpoonySpoon said:

I have no belief that this situation will change, I fear I will end up taking my own life. My only goal in life is to be happy, and that's not going to happen in a world in which I'm unwanted. ,

Sorry this is happening. Your hopelessness, helplessness and suicidal ideation are the real problem.

You need to see a physician for an evaluation of your physical and mental health. Ask for a referral to a qualified therapist for ongoing support.

This is not about your appearance or dating profile or resume or dating tips.

If you feel suicidal please contact a mental health hotline to talk it out and they'll help steer you in the right direction. Or go to the emergency room.

Getting a date or a GF won't solve your problems. In fact, it would be hard to sustain a relationship with a depressed state of mind.

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