dandelion88 Posted October 2, 2021 Posted October 2, 2021 hello! So, me and my BF are dating for almost 2 years now (we live in different cities not too far). My parents love him but his parents... don't. I remember when I first came into their house they were so welcoming, we talked and had fun. But what I didn't know is that his parents are good actors. I noticed that my BF had less and less time to see me but still found a way. I noticed so I asked him what was wrong. He was devastated and told me that his mom doesn't like me because of my NATIONALITY. She is so hateful towards other nationalities. Even he didn't know what his mother was really like till he continued to annoy her with the question "why can't you let me see her often anymore?". So his mother's true colors came out. I was really shocked because I was taught as a kid to love everyone equally regardless of their nationality, skin color... He still lives with his parents because he goes to college. Where I live living with your parents at that age and even through your 40s is normal. But regardless he said that after he finishes his college he will move out. His parents were and still are controlling and manipulative. My BF is getting more and more sick of it especially because he's 23 and should be having his own decisions. He told his parents that we broke up thinking they would stop getting in our way. Yesterday we went out in his city and guess what, someone saw us together and told his father. Now both of his parents are mad because he lied about the break up and that he's still in a relationship with me. I feel like I'm in a love drama. They act like their son is dating a criminal. They didn't even give me a chance to know the real me because of my nationality. My BF is really depressed because of this whole situation. He told me that regardless of his parent's opinion he will stay with me. I know that his parents will continue to bother him and attack him because he's with a girl with a different nationality. I've told my parents the whole situation and they said "no one can stop you two if you truly love each other" and they are right but i feel so bad for him for having such shitty parents. He stood up for me many times and told them how it's not fair for them to attack me based on my nationality, but they don't care. They never cared about his feelings, they never cared about what he has to say. It all so seems as if they hate their on child. I don't know what advice to give him. We still love each other and want to get married in the future but his parents are doing everything they can to tear us apart. Any advice on what to do, say?
Wiseman2 Posted October 2, 2021 Posted October 2, 2021 Sorry this is happening. You need to end it. Why associate with a bunch of bigots?Yes, he's one too. You're his friend dirty little secret while he lives off his parents. Eventually he'll get serious with someone they approve of. You're wasting your time on bigots like him and his family. It may seem like your own Romeo and Juliet story, but the truth is he hides you to please his family. Do you really want to sneak around so he can kowtow to his parents? Date men who treat you well and are proud of you, not men who keep you a secret.
elaine567 Posted October 2, 2021 Posted October 2, 2021 Would they not approve of you being a different nationality no matter what nationality it was, or are they particularly disapproving of your nationality?
Gaeta Posted October 2, 2021 Posted October 2, 2021 I am so sorry this is happenning. I don't see any happy ending here. Your boyfriend loves his parents even if he doesn't agree with them, he will always love them so while he's with you he will have a life of constantly being caught in the middle, and no one can be happy long term living like that. Think long term here, if you marry the hate will continue, grand children will be born in that hate, your life will be a constant drama. I have 2 daughters and I would not encourage them to remain in a relationship where they experience racism from the in-law, I would want better for them. Love does NOT conquer it all.
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