Wiseman2 Posted October 1, 2021 Posted October 1, 2021 1 hour ago, Starry_eyed said: . Not sure if I do feel comfortable to go round to his place yet. or maybe could suggest I bring him some food and we sit somewhere near his home Just go out to eat if you don't want in house dates. Don't bring food and sit somewhere. It's silly.
Author Starry_eyed Posted October 1, 2021 Author Posted October 1, 2021 4 hours ago, glows said: Good to hear. If you're not sure think about it for a few hours and don't reply right away or agree to something you're not comfortable with. Thank him but suggest a restaurant for dinner if you don't want to go over to his place or bring him food if you like - whatever you feel most comfortable with. Yeah, thanks, a restaurant for dinner one evening this weekend or next week sounds like the best option. I'm wary of suggesting it after his shift but I'm not comfortable going to his place. I'll see if I still think the same in a few hours then go with that if so. @Wiseman2 If I worked those kinds of shifts I would think a guy bringing food to me is so cute and thoughtful! But yeah restaurant is much easier 1
introverted1 Posted October 1, 2021 Posted October 1, 2021 (edited) Are you in the US? Is he a surgical resident? Edited October 1, 2021 by introverted1
Alpacalia Posted October 1, 2021 Posted October 1, 2021 5 hours ago, Starry_eyed said: Update - he replied this morning saying he's working 8am-8pm until Sunday but would be happy to make us dinner at his if I feel comfortable. Otherwise next week. Not sure if I do feel comfortable to go round to his place yet but that's sweet for him to offer despite his working schedule. I might wait until next week or maybe could suggest I bring him some food and we sit somewhere near his home Nicenice. Dinner sounds like a lovely time. You can simply politely decline his generous offer to cook you dinner and propose you meet him for eats at xyz instead. 3
glows Posted October 1, 2021 Posted October 1, 2021 2 hours ago, Starry_eyed said: Yeah, thanks, a restaurant for dinner one evening this weekend or next week sounds like the best option. I'm wary of suggesting it after his shift but I'm not comfortable going to his place. I'll see if I still think the same in a few hours then go with that if so. @Wiseman2 If I worked those kinds of shifts I would think a guy bringing food to me is so cute and thoughtful! But yeah restaurant is much easier Whatever you choose be decisive about it and enjoy it. Have fun. This is between him and you, no one else. Come back and let us know how it goes. 2
Author Starry_eyed Posted October 1, 2021 Author Posted October 1, 2021 I proposed going to a restaurant tomorrow, close to his hospital or convenient for his commute home. Otherwise I said my schedule seems more flexible than his so just let me know when works next week. Feeling a little more relaxed to speak with him now. ...I've just been asked out tomorrow by another guy, minutes after sending the message! I don't want to put my Saturday night plans on hold for him so if he says yes, I'll meet him after 1
glows Posted October 1, 2021 Posted October 1, 2021 I wouldn't do that. Why do they both have to be on Saturday? I don't multi-date. If there's someone I like or interests me, I only see that person and move on one by one. That's personal choice. Even so, scheduling on the same day seems rushed and stressful. What if you don't make it to the next one because you're having fun with the other? It seems disrespectful too. 3
Author Starry_eyed Posted October 2, 2021 Author Posted October 2, 2021 13 hours ago, glows said: I wouldn't do that. Why do they both have to be on Saturday? I don't multi-date. If there's someone I like or interests me, I only see that person and move on one by one. That's personal choice. Even so, scheduling on the same day seems rushed and stressful. What if you don't make it to the next one because you're having fun with the other? It seems disrespectful too. I suppose because it has happened to fall on the same day, I've not tried same-day meets before, I want to try it and see. I think it can be disrespectful depending on things like my intent, how I date and how much investment has been put into the relationships so far from both sides. I see today as going for an outdoor walk and casual chat with one guy and then going for dinner after. Both guys I've made no romantic connection with at the moment and I don't personally get flirty/kiss at this stage. Always split the bill etc. I'm confident I'd be going about this in a respectful way. I accidentally messaged surgeon too late anyway I think, he hasn't come back so I'm probs just going for a walk with this new guy today 1
glows Posted October 2, 2021 Posted October 2, 2021 4 hours ago, Starry_eyed said: I suppose because it has happened to fall on the same day, I've not tried same-day meets before, I want to try it and see. I think it can be disrespectful depending on things like my intent, how I date and how much investment has been put into the relationships so far from both sides. I see today as going for an outdoor walk and casual chat with one guy and then going for dinner after. Both guys I've made no romantic connection with at the moment and I don't personally get flirty/kiss at this stage. Always split the bill etc. I'm confident I'd be going about this in a respectful way. I accidentally messaged surgeon too late anyway I think, he hasn't come back so I'm probs just going for a walk with this new guy today I hope it goes well! I agree with you about romantic connection.
Author Starry_eyed Posted October 5, 2021 Author Posted October 5, 2021 On 10/2/2021 at 4:37 PM, glows said: I hope it goes well! I agree with you about romantic connection. Didn't see the new guy in the end! The weather was really bad so I stayed in. I also told the doctor I was spending the night in before he said yes or no to my suggestion of a restaurant rather than his place. Before that, he hadn't confirmed, he said 'maybe next week would work better?' but was curious to know what place I would suggest (assuming he was talking about restaurant). We exchanged a few messages and on Sunday eve he said maybe he can tell me about something I asked 'this week?' I 'liked' his comment, elaborated on some other things we were talking about and basically said yeah, I can understand why it might be easier to speak about rather than typing. Since that message on Sunday, I haven't heard from him. I'm confused. I think I've been clear and he is either not interested or veeery busy. Or just more similar than I know
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