Already arranged 4th date, then she disappeared

[Dio9366]

Hi everyone,

So I met this girl on dating app and we have a lot in comment, we both into mafia movies& RPG games and stuff, and we have a lot to talk about, so after two days chating on the phone, I asked her out for dinner around the area where I live, so I went to picked her up and took her to an Indian restaurant near my place, after we finished our dinner my car disappeared, and we found out it was towed. She stayed with me the whole time and finally got my car back and I drive her around town before I drive her home. That was our first date story.

Second date went really well, we went to an Aquarium, we text to each other a lot between 1st and 2nd date and generally talk about movies、culture and anime all kind of stuff.

then here comes the 3rd date, we still text to each other a lot between dates, but during the 3rd date it happened again that I hit a pillar while parking my car  (yeah I know it should not suppose to be happening), but I didn't complain about it and just stay clam the whole time and never mention it again. she also gave me a gift a phone case, so I gave her a ear ring as me gift in exchange. Then we went to watch the movie "DUNE". we both love the movie although we had different opinion about the movie. I thought the story line was great, she thought was Old-fashioned. So I did try to explain why I think this movie's story line was great to her. then we went shopping then she asked me if i am a girl I probably be very show off one. i said yes i probably wear high heels all the time. I kinda regret saying that afterward because she is rather a conservative girl basically she likes to wear something comfortable rather than something stylish. then I drive her home, things went smooth after that. she text me thank you and she got home safe, and I said goodnight to her.

Then two days after I ask her the 4th date, she agreed and arranged it on 10/2, I confirmed the date and send her a movie poster that we were talk about on 3rd date, she read my message then never reply again,
It's been 3 days now. Do you guys think she is still interested?

Any comment helps! Thank you

Edited October 4, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
language

[Alpacalia]

2 hours ago, Dio9366 said:

Then two days after I ask her the 4th date, she agreed and arranged it on 10/2, I confirmed the date and send her a movie poster that we were talk about on 3rd date, she read my message then never reply again,
It's been 3 days now. Do you guys think she is still interested?

Any comment helps! Thank you

People will give you a hundred different possibilities.

Perhaps she is uninterested, or perhaps she is busy. But is she really that busy even if just to say something like, "sorry, I've been really busy recently; I'll get back to you soon, looking forward to our date!"

So decide whether you want to forget about it, call her directly, or see whether she keeps the date.

If she does not respond positively, you can walk away knowing that you tried.

[ExpatInItaly]

4 hours ago, Dio9366 said:

two days after I ask her the 4th date, she agreed and arranged it on 10/2, I confirmed the date and send her a movie poster that we were talk about on 3rd date, she read my message then never reply again,
It's been 3 days now. Do you guys think she is still interested?

It is unusual for her not to chat every day? If so, you're probably correctly sensing that something is off.

And I promise it isn't because you made a random joke about high heels or hit a pillar with your car. You need to find your confidence, and realize that (in general) not every little thing we do is analyzed to that degree by other people. If she's lost interest, it is likely completely unrelated to either of those things. 

I would give it a couple more days. If you still hear nothing, give her a call just to chat. And leave it by saying you look forward to seeing her on Saturday. If she dogdes the call or is wishy-wahsy, then you have your answer. 

[Dio9366]

1 hour ago, ExpatInItaly said:

It is unusual for her not to chat every day? If so, you're probably correctly sensing that something is off.

And I promise it isn't because you made a random joke about high heels or hit a pillar with your car. You need to find your confidence, and realize that (in general) not every little thing we do is analyzed to that degree by other people. If she's lost interest, it is likely completely unrelated to either of those things. 

I would give it a couple more days. If you still hear nothing, give her a call just to chat. And leave it by saying you look forward to seeing her on Saturday. If she dogdes the call or is wishy-wahsy, then you have your answer. 

Thank you, I really kinda feel tired, I didn't chase her out of liking me or anything, but like what you said, It's still too early to tell, so I will wait for a couple days.

Maybe She thinks this relationship moves too fast? Anyway the date is still on so we will see. 

Edited September 27, 2021 by Dio9366

[ExpatInItaly]

7 minutes ago, Dio9366 said:

Maybe She thinks this relationship moves too fast?

Why would she? It's only been 3 dates. 

What is moving too fast about that?

[Dio9366]

8 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Why would she? It's only been 3 dates. 

What is moving too fast about that?

I just don't know, maybe because I gave her a earrings as gift? and I did had a little debate with her about "Dune"'s movie story line?

I was just trying to express my opinion since I like this movie a lot? but this didn't turn into argument or anything.

[ExpatInItaly]

You're completely over-thinking this, Dio. 

Her lack of communication probably has nothing to do with earrings or a movie. Try to relax a bit and not look for reasons to blame yourself. 

[Dio9366]

27 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

You're completely over-thinking this, Dio. 

Her lack of communication probably has nothing to do with earrings or a movie. Try to relax a bit and not look for reasons to blame yourself. 

Thank you for telling me this, I really feel better now. I don''t know why I always having problem sustaining interest beyond a short period of time with the girls I like. 

I always try my best and not getting the result I want is always frustrating. 

[Sun Seeker]

Have you made any moves physically during these 3 dates? Tried to kiss her, hold her hand and compliment her on her nails, touch her back while walking, touch her knee while sitting down next to her etc?

I know you mentioned she is conservative but so far it sounds like you two are hanging out like friends, having debates, maybe she is not feeling a romantic spark?

Either way if it's been a couple of days already just message her again confirming you are still on for your date on Saturday. Her answer will tell you all you need.

[Wiseman2]

9 hours ago, Dio9366 said:

It's been 3 days now. 

Yes. She's been on several dates with you. Do not text-tether or smother.

Keep in mind you are not exclusive so still talking to and meeting others.

Relax. Breathe.

[dramafreezone]

22 hours ago, Dio9366 said:

Hi everyone,

So I met this girl on dating app and we have a lot in comment, we both into mafia movies& RPG games and stuff, and we have a lot to talk about, so after two days chating on the phone, I asked her out for dinner around the area where I live, so I went to picked her up and took her to an Indian restaurant near my place, after we finished our dinner my car disappeared, and we found out it was towed. She stayed with me the whole time and finally got my car back and I drive her around town before I drive her home. That was our first date story.

Second date went really well, we went to an Aquarium, we text to each other a lot between 1st and 2nd date and generally talk about movies、culture and anime all kind of stuff.

then here comes the 3rd date, we still text to each other a lot between dates, but during the 3rd date **** happened again that I hit a pillar while parking my car  (yeah I know it should not suppose to be happening), but I didn't complain about it and just stay clam the whole time and never mention it again. she also gave me a gift a phone case, so I gave her a ear ring as me gift in exchange. Then we went to watch the movie "DUNE". we both love the movie although we had different opinion about the movie. I thought the story line was great, she thought was Old-fashioned. So I did try to explain why I think this movie's story line was great to her. then we went shopping then she asked me if i am a girl I probably be very show off one. i said yes i probably wear high heels all the time. I kinda regret saying that afterward because she is rather a conservative girl basically she likes to wear something comfortable rather than something stylish. then I drive her home, things went smooth after that. she text me thank you and she got home safe, and I said goodnight to her.

Then two days after I ask her the 4th date, she agreed and arranged it on 10/2, I confirmed the date and send her a movie poster that we were talk about on 3rd date, she read my message then never reply again,
It's been 3 days now. Do you guys think she is still interested?

Any comment helps! Thank you

She's lost interest.  I see a lot of things that I would've done differently,  but mainly I wouldn't have bought her anything.  Gifts are a girlfriend thing IMO, and even then once in a while.

Movies are bad dates early on.  You can't talk during them, which is what you should be doing when you're trying to get to know someone.  Do less texting and more talking in person.

You seem really compliant and eager to gain her approval.  Why didn't you made a move? 

That's great if you're trying to be a gentleman but she knows you like her and you want to make a move.  You not making a move works against you because now you seem like a guy that won't go for what he wants.

[Dio9366]

52 minutes ago, dramafreezone said:

She's lost interest.  I see a lot of things that I would've done differently,  but mainly I wouldn't have bought her anything.  Gifts are a girlfriend thing IMO, and even then once in a while.

Movies are bad dates early on.  You can't talk during them, which is what you should be doing when you're trying to get to know someone.  Do less texting and more talking in person.

You seem really compliant and eager to gain her approval.  Why didn't you made a move? 

That's great if you're trying to be a gentleman but she knows you like her and you want to make a move.  You not making a move works against you because now you seem like a guy that won't go for what he wants.

I didn't volunteer to give her an earrings, It's because she gave me a phone case, so I bought her a gift in exchange.

Then tell me what would you done differently?

[Dio9366]

She message me today. It turns out that she actually didn't see my reply, and told me that her dentist clinic's new assistant resign today so her work shift changed(She is a dentist assistant)  and had to work on 10/2, so I called her and had a small chat with her and ask her do you still wanna hang out, she reschedule the date with me on 10/9. her voice sounds glad&enthusiastic that I called and feel sorry for can't make it on 10/2 and explain the reason to me before hang off she said "Have a good day at work". I guess we will just see.

[Wiseman2]

Excellent. Relax and set up something for a mutually convenient time.

[SumGuy]

9 hours ago, Dio9366 said:

She message me today. It turns out that she actually didn't see my reply, ....

I've had enough instances with my phone not showing me texts (e.g. can look at gf phone where is says it was sent to me) or not ringing when a call comes in, or waiting hours for a voice mail to show up.  Weird stuff really.  My theory is Siri got upset about your love of Dune, after all it is a world where thinking machines are forbidden  

Just a heads up, you may text and chat all the time now because there is so much to learn and enthusiasm but it could well slow down and wouldn't read too much into that. 

[glows]

11 hours ago, Dio9366 said:

She message me today. It turns out that she actually didn't see my reply, and told me that her dentist clinic's new assistant resign today so her work shift changed(She is a dentist assistant)  and had to work on 10/2, so I called her and had a small chat with her and ask her do you still wanna hang out, she reschedule the date with me on 10/9. her voice sounds glad&enthusiastic that I called and feel sorry for can't make it on 10/2 and explain the reason to me before hang off she said "Have a good day at work". I guess we will just see.

If an employee resigned she might be taking on more shifts and be busier or more tired than usual as she helps cover until a new one is hired. Be more patient and anticipate some delays. See how this 10/9 date goes. Try not to bombard her with messages but keep in touch and keep things lighthearted. This person has a habit of keeping her appointments and dates without fail so learn to trust her. 

[Dio9366]

9 hours ago, glows said:

If an employee resigned she might be taking on more shifts and be busier or more tired than usual as she helps cover until a new one is hired. Be more patient and anticipate some delays. See how this 10/9 date goes. Try not to bombard her with messages but keep in touch and keep things lighthearted. This person has a habit of keeping her appointments and dates without fail so learn to trust her. 

I called her last night and chat with her for 40mins, she said she can't make it on 10/9 again, she said is taking on more shift so 10/9 won't be available. i asked her again do you still wanna hang out, she said yes and reschedule it to 10/16. I called first but she missed it but didn't called back only text by saying she is available now, during our chat everything seems well, but she just didn't initiate call anymore. This is unusual.

[Alpacalia]

You have a fourth date set for 10/16.

You chatted for 40 minutes last night.

Maintain your presence, but keep it light hearted.

 

 

Edited September 29, 2021 by Alpaca

[Wiseman2]

6 hours ago, Dio9366 said:

, she said yes and reschedule it to 10/16. This is unusual.

Who is picking these particular times and days? Seems like a scheduling problem.

After 4 dates, what do you mean by "unusual"?

You don't really know each other well enough to have your communication and dates in sync.

It appears to be going well, when you are both free.

 

Edited September 29, 2021 by Wiseman2

[Dio9366]

7 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Who is picking these particular times and days? Seems like a scheduling problem.

After 4 dates, what do you mean by "unusual"?

You don't really know each other well enough to have your communication and dates in sync.

It appears to be going well, when you are both free.

 

I asked her do you still wanna hang out? She said yes and pick a day on 10/16 then ask me if I am available. 

We only gone out for 3 dates, what's usual is that If normally I called her she missed my call she will call back, but this time she only text back and said sorry I missed your call

and When I ask her do you wanna chat, she said yes but only text back said "I am calling you",But I got no phone call from her   

but when I called her and chat the conversation seems to flow smoothly. 

[Dio9366]

On 9/29/2021 at 4:33 PM, Wiseman2 said:

Who is picking these particular times and days? Seems like a scheduling problem.

After 4 dates, what do you mean by "unusual"?

You don't really know each other well enough to have your communication and dates in sync.

It appears to be going well, when you are both free.

 

We haven't spoke to each other for more than 5days, is that normal?

[Wiseman2]

4 hours ago, Dio9366 said:

We haven't spoke to each other for more than 5days, is that normal?

Why not text/call and set up a date?

[Dio9366]

39 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Why not text/call and set up a date?

We already set up a date on 10/16, we just haven’t  spoke to each other for more than 4days. Like I wrote on my previous posts

Edited October 4, 2021 by Dio9366

[ExpatInItaly]

She seems luekewarm, but all you can do is wait and see how this date goes. 

It seems to be losing momentum, though, given the gaps between dates and fizzling communication. Generally when I am interested in someone, I am not going to let 4 or 5 days of silence pass. I would be more interested in keeping the convesation going, getting to know each other a bit. That's not to say we would need to be in touch everyday but my natural interest in the guy would mean I'd enjoy talking to him more than once every 5 days. 

I am not so sure she's feeling the same way you are at this point, OP. 

[Dio9366]

1 hour ago, ExpatInItaly said:

She seems luekewarm, but all you can do is wait and see how this date goes. 

It seems to be losing momentum, though, given the gaps between dates and fizzling communication. Generally when I am interested in someone, I am not going to let 4 or 5 days of silence pass. I would be more interested in keeping the convesation going, getting to know each other a bit. That's not to say we would need to be in touch everyday but my natural interest in the guy would mean I'd enjoy talking to him more than once every 5 days. 

I am not so sure she's feeling the same way you are at this point, OP. 

So I did mess this up, so all I can do is wait and see how is plays out?

Edited October 4, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
language