He pushed for early sex and I said no

[Emilyinroses]

3 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

Apologies for beating a dead horse, but Emily, come on.  You say his energy wasn't aggressive?  

What do you call this?

>>What scared me was him pushing so hard to have sex. I had guys before trying to have sex, but never pushing like this. That’s what scared me.

That's the very definition of aggressive!  

 

What I mean is on the dates we had his energy was different, he was nice, normal conversation, a good vibe. 

And then through text message seemed a complete different person, saying those things and pushing for sex.

Edited September 24, 2021 by Emilyinroses

[spiderowl]

I think you did exactly the right thing, Emily.  Why should you rush into anything physical just because he wants that soon?

I also think he will respect you more for not going along with things.

It sounds like he is in it for sex only.  Unless that is all you want, I cannot see that you have anything to gain by meeting this guy again to have sex.  

He is probably trying to work out a game plan - deciding whether he likes you enough to spend more time with you.  It could be that he is used to getting his own way with women but actually he does not sound very caring, more that he is putting himself first here.  I think you can do better, no matter how good looking he is.

If you want romance and respect, make sure you expect it and do not go along with anything that denies you those important factors in a relationship.  I feel he will contact you again for a third try.  If he does, look out for any signs of him caring about you and your feelings.  Asking if you are scared of him does not strike me as being concern for your welfare, more concern that he is not getting anywhere with you on the sex front.

[Trail Blazer]

43 minutes ago, Emilyinroses said:

There is no way to know what would happen after sex, but that wasn’t the reason I didn’t have sex with him.

I didn’t have sex with him because he was very pushy and said inappropriate things to me.

If things have been different probably I would have had sex with him because I was attracted to him and there was a nice connection between us.

I don’t even understand why he needed to push like that! He knew I was attracted to him, just invite me to dinner, we can have a nice evening and then let things unfold naturally, no need for what he said and did. I don’t get it really.

So the aggressive way he pushed for it and the things he said was what put me off.

He pushed like that because he's an entitled idiot.  You're well rid of him now.

[Sun Seeker]

57 minutes ago, Emilyinroses said:

I don’t even understand why he needed to push like that! He knew I was attracted to him, just invite me to dinner, we can have a nice evening and then let things unfold naturally, no need for what he said and did. I don’t get it really.

It's really simple. The one and only thing he was interested in was having sex with you as soon as possible. You were never on the 'relationship potential' list. You reached date 3, which in his eyes was enough effort and time to get what he wanted, hence the wanting to drive somewhere to get intimate.

Going on another dinner etc without a guarantee of sex was a possible waste of time for him so it was not worth the effort.

This was never going to develop into something serious after he got what he wanted, regardless of what he told you. There's only one thing you should be doing now, and that's blocking him everywhere including IG etc.