Woke up to being blocked on everything by guy I'm dating with no explanation?

[stillafool]

14 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

Don't you think that's quite a coincidence?

If you look back over their text conversation you will see she said nothing that indicated rejection.  It was all "kisses", "I'm excited to see you", "can't wait....; absolutely nothing that would make him think she wasn't interested but eager to see him again.  As she said he was already pulling back 2 days earlier.

[poppyfields]

For example, with one of my ex's (together for years), when we first started dating, he tried calling and texting me one night, and I was visiting my mom.  I left my phone in the car because my mom always wanted my undivided attention when visiting, I honestly did not think it was a big deal at all, it was only a few hours.

Well, my ex went nuts, his anxiety got the better of him and he convinced himself I was out with another man and in response, he ignored me for nearly a week!!  I think it was around 5 days.

I assumed he had lost interest and was ghosting so after a couple of messages from me that went ignored, I let it go.

He finally got in touch (I guess after he felt I had been punished enough for not responding, lol) and that's when he admitted he thought I was out with another man.

I told him, no I was visiting my mom!!

I have several other stories of men going crazy like that.

Just sayin, it's possible.

 

 

 

 

[stillafool]

2 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

he tried calling and texting me one night,

This is a reason to be angry.  You were missing all night because you didn't have your phone on you and to be honest Poppy if I were him I would have thought the same thing.  This is not the case here.

[poppyfields]

2 minutes ago, stillafool said:

If you look back over their text conversation you will see she said nothing that indicated rejection.  It was all "kisses", "I'm excited to see you", "can't wait....; absolutely nothing that would make him think she wasn't interested but eager to see him again.  As she said he was already pulling back 2 days earlier.

I know but she suddenly dropped off their conversation with no warning.  

THAT was the rejection, in HIS anxious mind.

Think about how you would have felt (IF you were feeling anxious and insecure), you are dating a man, you are super into him, he's "iffy" about you.  

One night you are having an intimate text exchange, he is being very responsive, you feel excited but then suddenly without warning, he disappears after you ask a question.  Drops off the conversation.

How would you have felt, again putting yourself in his shoes, feeling anxious and insecure?

This doesn't excuse him getting crazy and blocking her everywhere, like I said just trying to see it from both sides.

I think him suddenly blocking her the way he did was an emotional reaction to something, that's my sense, I could be wrong!!

 

[poppyfields]

4 minutes ago, stillafool said:

This is a reason to be angry.  You were missing all night because you didn't have your phone on you and to be honest Poppy if I were him I would have thought the same thing.  This is not the case here.

What's the difference?   The OP dropped off their conversation!!  Went missing for the rest of the night.

Okay she fell asleep but HE didn't know that, just like my ex didn't know I was visiting my very sick (at the time) mom!

And why are you sticking up for my ex, his reaction was insane!

I did not go missing all night, I didn't reply back for three hours, that justifies him ghosting me for 5 days?

Really?

Edited September 23, 2021 by poppyfields

[d0nnivain]

2 hours ago, CalipsoRose said:

It honestly makes me lose trust in dating men altogether because this has happened to me more than once, too. This time, he seemed genuine. But I was wrong. So I cant tell anymore what is genuine and what isn't. 

Hint:  love bombing is always disingenuous in the sense that the person doing it has no meaningful sense of boundaries or decorum.  They move too fast because they are unable to function independently & are desperate for a relationship.  

You told him you were in bed falling asleep.  He asked if you were watching TV but presumably by the time he asked that you had actually fallen asleep.  For him to get his nose out of joint over that is crazy.   

[stillafool]

8 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

I did not go missing all night, I didn't reply back for three hours, that justifies him ghosting me for 5 days?

Sorry, I thought the phone was left in the car all night.  Still Poppy, a lot can happen in 3 hours.  I'm sure you weren't doing anything bad but it's suspicious.

[Alpacalia]

A drop off in communication for a few hours would not typically warrant blocking.

And if it did, good riddance.

[poppyfields]

23 minutes ago, CalipsoRose said:

This could be true, yes, but when I woke up & realized I was blocked - grabbed my family member's phone and texted him asking what happened, you'd think he'd respond and figure it wasn't me rejecting him. Still no reply from him. I honestly don't want to hear from him at this point after this. Maybe those initial bad feelings I got that made me so uncomfortable, was the hint I should have taken to stop seeing him. People were replying in that thread saying my subconscious could tell something was off with him, and now that makes sense.

Yeah same with my ex.  When I got back to my car after visiting my sick mom (three hours after his text), I immediately responded, told him I had been visiting my mom, and he ignored it and proceeded to ignore my other messages for 5 days.

We patched it up, but yeah his reaction was insane.

During those three hours, he had 100% convinced himself I was out with another man, didn't matter what I said, that is what he believed.

 

 

[CalipsoRose]

1 minute ago, poppyfields said:

Yeah same with my ex.  When I got back to my car after visiting my sick mom (three hours after his text), I immediately responded, told him I had been visiting my mom, and he ignored it and proceeded to ignore my other messages for 5 days.

We patched it up, but yeah his reaction was insane.

During those three hours, he had 100% convinced himself I was out with another man, didn't matter what I said, that is what he believed.

At the very least this showed me he is either too immature, too cowardly or decided to move on to someone else overnight. He better not text me in 5 days like your ex, lol. I won't be responding, this is already too weird for me. Didn't start off great, and I had a little voice in the pit of my stomach saying something didn't feel right.

[stillafool]

12 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

just like my ex didn't know I was visiting my very sick (at the time) mom!

Sorry but I missed this.  You were not at home, he didn't know where you were and not answering your phone for 3 hours.  He was worried and angry.  Understandable

13 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

Okay she fell asleep but HE didn't know that, 

She was in bed saying sweet things to him and fell asleep.  Totally different situation.

[poppyfields]

Just now, CalipsoRose said:

At the very least this showed me he is either too immature, too cowardly or decided to move on to someone else overnight. He better not text me in 5 days like your ex, lol. I won't be responding, this is already too weird for me. Didn't start off great, and I had a little voice in the pit of my stomach saying something didn't feel right.

Lol, yeah I agree with you, too weird.

For me, unlike you, I was crazy myself over him, so I forgave.  We were both a little crazy if truth be told!  lol

If it were me now, I don't think I would have been so quick to forgive but when you are really into someone, I think we can all go a bit crazy from time to time.

 

[poppyfields]

10 minutes ago, stillafool said:

She was in bed saying sweet things to him and fell asleep.  Totally different situation.

I don't think Calipso did anything wrong, but (and this is just me), I don't typically just drop off a conversation without saying goodbye.

I would have ended the convo with "Hey I am super tired, fading out, so I am gonna say goodnight, chats with you tomorrow!  "

Or something like that so he knows I am not ignoring.

Just me.

>>Didn't start off great, and I had a little voice in the pit of my stomach saying something didn't feel right.

Anyway, best to let this go. Admittedly Calipso wasn't feeling all that great and positive anyway, right from the beginning.

Always listen to that little voice, it may be little, but so powerful!

  

 

Edited September 23, 2021 by poppyfields

[ExpatInItaly]

2 hours ago, CalipsoRose said:

So if he was hiding something like a wife, I don't see why he'd invite me over

Stranger things have happened. 

Years ago now, I had just started dating a guy when he invited me over to his house for a drink before going out for dinner. As soon as I got there, I noticed "women's touches" around the house (potpourri, decorative throw cushions) that seemed odd for a macho bachelor in his 20s. I asked him about it. He told me his ex had decorated the place and he'd just left it that way. 

Didn't sit right with me. After a couple more drinks and little more prodding from me, he admitted the mystery Martha Stewart wasn't an ex. She was his finaceé who worked out of the town during the week and was only home on weekends. Busted. 

[CalipsoRose]

1 minute ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Didn't sit right with me. After a couple more drinks and little more prodding from me, he admitted the mystery Martha Stewart wasn't an ex. She was his finaceé who worked out of the town during the week and was only home on weekends. Busted. 

Lmao what?? Mystery Martha Stewart  Wow it only took a couple drinks for him to spill it. Geeze...excuse me while I go under the blankets and never date again. 

[d0nnivain]

20 minutes ago, stillafool said:

 a lot can happen in 3 hours.  I'm sure you weren't doing anything bad but it's suspicious.

Good heavens.  If somebody got their nose out of joint because I didn't reply back to them for 3 hours, good riddance out of my life.  I don't function with a phone in may hand all day.  Unless it was a specific circumstance where I was in danger, people have to learn to simmer down. 

Just because we may have the ability to be in touch 24/7, doesn't mean we have the obligation.  

[poppyfields]

10 minutes ago, d0nnivain said:

Good heavens.  If somebody got their nose out of joint because I didn't reply back to them for 3 hours, good riddance out of my life.  I don't function with a phone in may hand all day.  Unless it was a specific circumstance where I was in danger, people have to learn to simmer down. 

Just because we may have the ability to be in touch 24/7, doesn't mean we have the obligation.  

Thank you!!  My sentiments exactly and in retrospect, I should have paid more attention to that because he ended up being quite jealous and possessive during our entire relationship.

But like I said, I was crazy about him (and young), I have learned a lot since then, but yeah, three hours, his reaction was pure insanity!

Five days he punished me for something he was imagining!!   Me out with another guy.   lol

Edited September 23, 2021 by poppyfields

[Alvi]

48 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

For example, with one of my ex's (together for years), when we first started dating, he tried calling and texting me one night, and I was visiting my mom.  I left my phone in the car because my mom always wanted my undivided attention when visiting, I honestly did not think it was a big deal at all, it was only a few hours.

Well, my ex went nuts, his anxiety got the better of him and he convinced himself I was out with another man and in response, he ignored me for nearly a week!!  I think it was around 5 days.

I assumed he had lost interest and was ghosting so after a couple of messages from me that went ignored, I let it go.

He finally got in touch (I guess after he felt I had been punished enough for not responding, lol) and that's when he admitted he thought I was out with another man.

I told him, no I was visiting my mom!!

I have several other stories of men going crazy like that.

Just sayin, it's possible.

 

 

 

 

Wow. How on earth did you end up dating him for years? What was dating him like? Just out of curiosity why did you up dating an individual who would ignore you for 5 whole days because he needed to punish you for not answering him for a few hours? 

[poppyfields]

12 minutes ago, Alvi said:

Wow. How on earth did you end up dating him for years? What was dating him like? Just out of curiosity why did you up dating an individual who would ignore you for 5 whole days because he needed to punish you for not answering him for a few hours? 

Crazy in love, literally.   Not in my right mind, clearly!!

I could tell you other stories, but it was many years ago and this is not my thread.

But yeah, it was pretty crazy.

I've had other men I have dated go off on me as well, I don't know what it is about me that gets men so crazy (literally); I am actually a very good and loyal girlfriend!  

Still haven't figured it out.

 

Edited September 23, 2021 by poppyfields

[CalipsoRose]

7 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

Crazy in love, literally.   Not in my right mind, clearly!!

I could tell you other stories, but it was many years ago and this is not my thread.

But yeah, it was pretty crazy.

I've had other men I have dated go off on me as well, I don't know what it is about me that gets men so crazy (literally); I am actually a very good and loyal girlfriend!  

Still haven't figured it out.

 

I can relate, it really does depend on how much you like the guy. If the guy is super handsome and you're crazy about him, unfortunately its easier to gloss over the red flags. Thankfully in my case, the guy wasn't really sending me over the moon. So its easier to move on. Sucks how it be like that sometimes! Also, its weird how the last 2 days he was acting a little more distant, I started liking him MORE (someone bring me a therapist) lol

[ExpatInItaly]

2 hours ago, CalipsoRose said:

Wow it only took a couple drinks for him to spill it.

Well, I think he realized the jig was up and there was no point lying about it. 

Not sure what he was thinking inviting me in when it was obvious that another woman lived there. I remember he was suddenly worried the neighbours might see me as I was leaving his house too. The whole thing was just so strange. Was the last time I ever saw him, obviously. 

In your case with this guy, my money is on another woman in his life, too. He doesn't want her to figure out he's been talking to someone else (you)

[SumGuy]

5 hours ago, CalipsoRose said:

I mean, should I feel bad? I feel like maybe I did something wrong. But yeah it did make me uncomfortable when he was blowing up my phone after one date.

Like what if he's treating the new girl like she's the best thing ever now? Ugh. Its bs and makes me sad.

You did nothing wrong, certainly nothing to warrant his reaction.   Yah he was way overboard after 1 date.   Don't feel bad about how you interacted. 

If you falling asleep and not getting back to him on text is enough to set him off, then indeed a bullet dodged.

[chillii]

5 hours ago, stillafool said:

If you look back over their text conversation you will see she said nothing that indicated rejection.  It was all "kisses", "I'm excited to see you", "can't wait....; absolutely nothing that would make him think she wasn't interested but eager to see him again.  As she said he was already pulling back 2 days earlier.

Yeah exactly . And the tv thing was hardly a question that was just a small nothing. lf he was all in he'd just text her next morning what happen to you last night babe. She'd say sorry fell asleep he'd say ahhh, thought so, and that'd be that.

There was something else already going on with him.

[poppyfields]

21 minutes ago, chillii said:

lf he was all in he'd just text her next morning what happen to you last night babe. She'd say sorry fell asleep he'd say ahhh, thought so, and that'd be that.

There was something else already going on with him.

I agree chillii, IF he was a normal, emotionally healthy functioning person.   Like you for example.   

But he's not as evidenced by all his love bombing, and other irrational behaviors,

>>Giving me roses, saying how great I was, sending me so many texts over and over again acting like he was already in love with me, etc<<

This^ is not the behavior of a normal, emotionally healthy functioning person after only ONE date.

I do agree there was something else going on with him.  He's emotionally unstable which was happening way before Calipso came along.

 

Edited September 23, 2021 by poppyfields

[Charlotte7]

I tend to agree with Poppy.  I think what probably happened is similar to what happened on IntBrowser's current thread where he leaves his date because she was more than 15 min late...... and she keeps calling him....and he ignores the calls.  He anticipates rejection in all situations, even when it does not seem reasonable.  I think the same thing happened here.  (i.e. guy getting some feelings of 'rejection' - but which is not actually 'rejection' - and trying to leave before she can leave him).   I think he interpreted the not answering the text as not thinking he is important enough to her.  I don't think it is rationale at all, though. I have seen men do these types of behaviors -  and I just don't get it.