Woke up to being blocked on everything by guy I'm dating with no explanation?

[poppyfields]

7 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

She said she felt him losing interest 2 days prior to that night he blocked her.

He had just told her the night he blocked her that (1) he missed her, (2) he was excited to see her!, (3) sent her kissy face emojis.

It's all just too weird, my head hurts.

Bottom line, guy sounds unstable, bullet dodged.

Next. 

[Gaeta]

1 minute ago, poppyfields said:

He had just told her the night he blocked her that (1) he missed her, (2) he was excited to see her!, (3) sent her kissy face emojis.

It's all just too weird, my head hurts.

Bottom line, guy sounds unstable, bullet dodged.

It's common with online dating. I've experienced this more than once. 

I agree NEXT.

And she should not dwell on it, just move on. 

 

[introverted1]

59 minutes ago, CalipsoRose said:

All the reasons I can think of, still doesn't really excuse his behavior. I mean, lets say he did find another woman, him blocking me on everything is just immature no matter how you slice it.

Don't get invested in the crazy.  It sounds like you were both engaged in too much, too soon. For whatever reason, he blocked.  Does it really matter why?  You'll get as many theories as responses here and you have no way of knowing which one, if any, is right.  Put your focus on moving forward, slowly next time.

[CalipsoRose]

I guess it really was love bombing, and maybe I wasn't being receptive to it enough, so he cut his losses and moved on to his next chase? Dunno. It honestly makes me lose trust in dating men altogether because this has happened to me more than once, too. This time, he seemed genuine. But I was wrong. So I cant tell anymore what is genuine and what isn't. I was even telling him to slow down (and the last 2 days he was, I grew attraction to him because he was acting less needy). Oh well. This is the first time I've dated in months. Finally put myself back out there only to have this happen again. Getting tired of it.

[poppyfields]

5 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

It's common with online dating

Another reason why I cannot stand on line dating!

Boggles the mind why anyone bothers with it when shyt like this is the norm?

Life is too damn short to deal with that. 

[Gaeta]

3 minutes ago, CalipsoRose said:

 It honestly makes me lose trust in dating men altogether

Makes me lose trust in men too but I push through it because one day one man will make it all worth it. 

Love bombing is never genuine. 

[stillafool]

48 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

Isn't that the norm these days, ignoring?  Ghosting? 

No if you look around in the dating forum you will see many women get ghosted.  I'd rather ghost than ignore if given the choice.  I wouldn't even want to know they were trying to contact me.  It would make me feel guilty.

[stillafool]

Especially wiith really good looking guys because they have so many takers.  He loves the chase and first dates.

[Alpacalia]

Early on, his overt exhibition of attention made you quite uncomfortable.

He slowed things down.

He's either okay with the pace at that moment, or he's not.

But, in fact, he wasn't.

[CalipsoRose]

3 minutes ago, Alpaca said:

Early on, his overt exhibition of attention made you quite uncomfortable.

He slowed things down.

He's either okay with the pace at that moment, or he's not.

But, in fact, he wasn't.

I mean, should I feel bad? I feel like maybe I did something wrong. But yeah it did make me uncomfortable when he was blowing up my phone after one date.

Like what if he's treating the new girl like she's the best thing ever now? Ugh. Its bs and makes me sad.

Edited September 23, 2021 by CalipsoRose

[stillafool]

You didn't do anything wrong.  Stop blaming yourself for his actions.  Honestly, after you found out he  blocked you that should have been it.  Not trying to find another way to contact him to find out what happened.  I wouldn't have given him that much consideration but accepted the block and moved on.

[spiderowl]

I am so sorry this happened CalipsoRose, what a horrible shock for you!

My guess is the guy was married or had a live-in partner.  The last thing he would want is you visiting his apartment and finding out the true state of affairs.

I suspect he decided he couldn't take it any further and he cut you off for fear his wife would find out.

There is no other sensible reason for someone to behave like this, unless he really didn't like you and you misread everything.  That does not seem likely.

It's awful for you and awful for his wife.

It sounds like some love-bombing was involved here.  That seems to me to be another indicator he was married.  Did he have a playful, fun attitude, piling on the romance?

You will get over this and learn from it.  I'm sorry for the hurt he has caused.

 

[CalipsoRose]

4 minutes ago, spiderowl said:

My guess is the guy was married or had a live-in partner.  The last thing he would want is you visiting his apartment and finding out the true state of affairs.

I suspect he decided he couldn't take it any further and he cut you off for fear his wife would find out.

There is no other sensible reason for someone to behave like this, unless he really didn't like you and you misread everything.  That does not seem likely.

 

He was the one who initially invited me to his apartment though. He even showed me on his phone the pool, it was a nice looking complex with a large pool. So if he was hiding something like a wife, I don't see why he'd invite me over. I do think he blocked me for another woman though, not sure about a wife, but...yeah.

[Alpacalia]

3 minutes ago, CalipsoRose said:

I mean, should I feel bad? I feel like maybe I did something wrong. But yeah it did make me uncomfortable when he was blowing up my phone after one date.

Like what if he's treating the new girl like she's the best thing ever now? Ugh. Its bs and makes me sad.

It's okay if you feel a bit depleted (you're human).

It might just be the nature of the beast (online dating) so it's going to happen a lot in general.

So, maybe just need to tweak some things a bit.

 

 

[Alvi]

I am sorry.

Dating sure sucks. I absolutely have no luck with it.

You may never find out the answer as to why he ghosted you. But please keep moving forward.

[Taramere]

Unless somebody's been abusive, in which case blocking them is the right thing to do, I think blocking is a bit of a dramatic attention seeking move.  If he's not interested, all he needs to say is "I'm sorry but I've met somebody else/I'm not interested in pursuing this further" or whatever.  But blocking somebody, to my mind, carries a suggestion that the person being blocked has been in some way abusive, is an overly persistent suitor/stalker or has generally done something that left the person doing the blocking feel uncomfortable or freaked out.   It just seems, to me, to be a pathetic way for people to carry on in situations where they just didn't want to keep talking to the other person...but again, I suppose that's online dating culture where people deal with lots and lots of strangers and think nothing of ending the conversations in quite offensive ways. 

As far as the serial love bombing thing goes, I remember sitting next to a guy on a train and he had about five different telephone conversations with women he obviously didn't know very well and had met online.  He was using the same lines in each conversation, without a trace of embarrassment - despite other passengers on the train listening in and exchanging glances/eye rolls/smirks about him.  Just an absolute tosser, really.  He'd probably be the type to block women after his conversations with them.  I don't even know if it's a mental health issue.  I'd suspect some of the real social inadequates out there would use the blocking facility to remind themselves which women they've already spoken to - without even considering the impact on the other person.

[stillafool]

29 minutes ago, CalipsoRose said:

Like what if he's treating the new girl like she's the best thing ever now? Ugh. Its bs and makes me sad.

C'mon you weren't that invested were you?  You said in your other thread you thought his love bombing was creepy so ......

[poppyfields]

@CalipsoRose, do you wonder what the outcome would have been had you not fallen asleep and replied to his last text?

Do you think he still would have blocked you had you been more responsive that night? 

Not blaming you, you fell asleep, and you will never know, but things can literally turn on a dime, for the silliest of reasons. 

Anyway, like others said, best to let it go, there's nothing good here. 

 

[stillafool]

Just now, poppyfields said:

Do you think he still would have blocked you had you been more responsive that night? 

Well if he blocked over somethiing that stupid then he was not the guy for you anyway.  I don't think he's married, or upset about your response, he's just a player.  He was already pulling back before this happened.

[Gaeta]

40 minutes ago, CalipsoRose said:

Like what if he's treating the new girl like she's the best thing ever now? Ugh. Its bs and makes me sad.

We usually feel that way when we're being rejected after months/years of dating the same person. Not after 1 date. 

Does not matter what's next for him. Concentrate on what's next for you. 

[CalipsoRose]

I think if he was a player he would have waited until after the weekend of potentially getting lucky with me (it was our 3rd date, not 2nd). Not saying I would have gotten physical, but the possibility was there. Unless he liked someone else so much more that I was a non-entity at that point. But it was a timespan of less than 10 hours from "excited to see you" to blocking me. I guess I'll never know what really happened. I shouldn't care, anyway. He obviously doesn't care how this makes me feel.

[glows]

It may sting a little but count your lucky stars he disappeared early. As confusing or hurtful as the lack of confrontation may seem or lack of honesty/being upfront, he's truly shown you his true colours. Instead of feeling too down, go on and enjoy your freedom. Recoup and take a break for awhile and then see what other prospects there are.

Edited September 23, 2021 by glows

[Wiseman2]

32 minutes ago, CalipsoRose said:

He even showed me on his phone the pool, it was a nice looking complex with a large pool. 

Sorry this happened. You dodged a bullet no matter how you look at it.

Try not to get discouraged. Screen better, reset your dating match criteria, try some quality/paid apps. 

When someone comes on hard sell like this, it's usually because they are trying to sell you a lemon dressed up a a Maserati.

 

[poppyfields]

1 hour ago, stillafool said:

Well if he blocked over somethiing that stupid then he was not the guy for you anyway.  I don't think he's married, or upset about your response, he's just a player.  He was already pulling back before this happened.

Oh I don't dispute that, but I have had guys I'm dating go ballistic over silly stuff like this (silly to me NOT to them), I mean you just never know what is gonna set someone off.

Playing devil's advocate, OP said she was not all that into him in the beginning, non-responsive, etc. so perhaps when she suddenly dropped off of what appeared to be an intimate text exchange between them, something set him off, he reached his emotional limited, and blocked her everywhere!

HE didn't know she fell asleep.  He may have assumed she was being a flake and his anxiety took over.

I can sort of see both sides, if that was it.  

Yes he over-reacted and was over-emotional, but we don't know what their dynamic had been before that, he may have been feeling rejected by her.

The reason I mention it might be this, and not another woman because it's such a coincidence that he would block her EVERYWHERE the night after she was unresponsive to his last text.  Literally 10 hours later (I just read that).

Don't you think that's quite a coincidence?

And as I said, I have had guys go bonkers crazy when they felt rejected, even if it didn't make sense to me and I was NOT rejecting them.

Guys can be quite emotional about things like this, don't ever underestimate that.  Their ego also plays a role.

But yeah you could be right, again just playing devil's advocate based on my own experience.

 

 

Edited September 23, 2021 by poppyfields

[CalipsoRose]

10 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

Playing devil's advocate, OP said she was not all that into him in the beginning, non-responsive, etc. so perhaps when she suddenly dropped off of what appeared to be an intimate text exchange between them, something set him off, he reached his emotional limited, and blocked her everywhere!

HE didn't know she fell asleep.  He may have assumed she was being a flake and his anxiety took over.

I can sort of see both sides, if that was it.  

Yes he over-reacted and was over-emotional, but we don't know what their dynamic had been before that, he may have been feeling rejected by her.

This could be true, yes, but when I woke up & realized I was blocked - grabbed my family member's phone and texted him asking what happened, you'd think he'd respond and figure it wasn't me rejecting him. Still no reply from him. I honestly don't want to hear from him at this point after this. Maybe those initial bad feelings I got that made me so uncomfortable, was the hint I should have taken to stop seeing him. People were replying in that thread saying my subconscious could tell something was off with him, and now that makes sense.