Sam2020 Posted September 19, 2021 Posted September 19, 2021 I've been on Match since spring and have met some really nice guys but no real connection. Well I've noticed that in the past month, I've gotten guys who message me and when I message back, no response from the guy. And I can clearly see that they come online daily. So my question is especially for guys over 50, because supposedly there's a bit more maturity and mental security. Why would you not at least response with "I don't think we're a match", which is what I do. Quite honestly I'm very attractive, physically fit, active and nothing has changed as far as how I respond to men since the beginning when all the guys responded. Could I be getting the "left over's", lol! It's quite frustrating to feel like I'm being ghosted. I'd much prefer a message saying we're not a match. Thanks in advance.
d0nnivain Posted September 19, 2021 Posted September 19, 2021 I am a woman who hated OLD so much I only did it for 90 days 15 years ago. Use it as a single tool & don't take it too seriously. Assume everyone will flake. Do more things in person, assuming you can do them safely.
Author Sam2020 Posted September 19, 2021 Author Posted September 19, 2021 6 minutes ago, d0nnivain said: I am a woman who hated OLD so much I only did it for 90 days 15 years ago. Use it as a single tool & don't take it too seriously. Assume everyone will flake. Do more things in person, assuming you can do them safely. Yes I can understand that. I didn't mind it until about a month ago when these flaky guys would message then not respond. Unfortunately there's not all that much to do with where I live because of the restrictions here due to Covid. Used to be a lot more active before so it's been really sucky, lol! Thanks for your input.
Ami1uwant Posted September 20, 2021 Posted September 20, 2021 1 hour ago, Sam2020 said: Yes I can understand that. I didn't mind it until about a month ago when these flaky guys would message then not respond. Unfortunately there's not all that much to do with where I live because of the restrictions here due to Covid. Used to be a lot more active before so it's been really sucky, lol! Thanks for your input. Unsure where you are…but a few things to be aware of… 1. I believe match has some sort of free weekend to use the site over labor day weekend so these peop,e you responded to can’t access the messages. 2. being active on match—all it takes is to open an email from match without logging in. when it comes to meeting peop,eonline…no matter the site…. 1. don’t assume you are the only one they are talking to. 2. If they feel one is a better match to them they might focus just on that person and see where it goes like having a date with them. Before getting back to you. 3.15 yrs ago OLD had more serious users who were seriously wanting relationships. Given their success, you now have it become more socially acceptable. Peop,e using it might be more inclined to look for that perfect match Or a match they wouldn’t usually meet and date.too quick to dismiss others,
Weezy1973 Posted September 20, 2021 Posted September 20, 2021 @Sam2020 I always found OLD to go in waves. Sometimes it seems like there is a ton of action and sometimes it just dries up. I wouldn’t worry about it. Likely doesn’t mean anything. Just be patient and I’m sure you’ll get some more dates soon enough…
Author Sam2020 Posted September 20, 2021 Author Posted September 20, 2021 9 minutes ago, Ami1uwant said: Unsure where you are…but a few things to be aware of… 1. I believe match has some sort of free weekend to use the site over labor day weekend so these peop,e you responded to can’t access the messages. 2. being active on match—all it takes is to open an email from match without logging in. when it comes to meeting peop,eonline…no matter the site…. 1. don’t assume you are the only one they are talking to. 2. If they feel one is a better match to them they might focus just on that person and see where it goes like having a date with them. Before getting back to you. 3.15 yrs ago OLD had more serious users who were seriously wanting relationships. Given their success, you now have it become more socially acceptable. Peop,e using it might be more inclined to look for that perfect match Or a match they wouldn’t usually meet and date.too quick to dismiss others, Hmmm...well I "liked" a guy so he "liked" & sent me a message asking a question in which I responded to. That lead me to believe he was a paid subscriber, plus he read the message I sent. But I'll have to pay more attention to whether or not they are an actual paid subscriber from here on. And yes, I always assume guys are looking at multiple women since I look at multiple guys. But if they don't get back to me within 7 days I delete them off my match. I get what you mean about being too quick to dismiss because I tended to do that, now I'm more open to guys who know how to have a conversation, lol! Thank you for your input.
Author Sam2020 Posted September 20, 2021 Author Posted September 20, 2021 17 minutes ago, Weezy1973 said: @Sam2020 I always found OLD to go in waves. Sometimes it seems like there is a ton of action and sometimes it just dries up. I wouldn’t worry about it. Likely doesn’t mean anything. Just be patient and I’m sure you’ll get some more dates soon enough… Man I hate online dating these days. It was so much nicer to meet a guy irl! Thanks
Ami1uwant Posted September 20, 2021 Posted September 20, 2021 2 hours ago, Sam2020 said: Man I hate online dating these days. It was so much nicer to meet a guy irl! Thanks Don’t be so quick to delete someone because like I said there might be other things going on. even IRL relationships it’s about timing. You can meet someone you have interest but they currently are in a relationship. With OLDsomeone you are talking to might have already hate date 1 with a few and have some new first dates planned as well as date 2 planned. Naturally they might want to see how these go before starting something with you. how old are you? I.rL it was always easier to meet people in your terns to mid 20s. You tended to hang out in groups and easily socialize before life started. In your late 20s after life starts and peop,e get married off it’s harder because you don’t have the social network ir the common hang outs. In your professional career you aren’t going to date co workers like you were more willing to do when you had just a job. Then it becomes harder to meet peop,e for relationships. You might meet someone else but you don’t know if they are available to date. It be nice if there was a places that just singles hung out. When your older your social networking will be limited. You might get set up from friends or through social groups like church ir volunteer teen groups, or interest groups. It’s just much much harder. It’s more difficult if you might not want someone who already has kids or was married before.
Author Sam2020 Posted September 20, 2021 Author Posted September 20, 2021 2 hours ago, Ami1uwant said: Don’t be so quick to delete someone because like I said there might be other things going on. even IRL relationships it’s about timing. You can meet someone you have interest but they currently are in a relationship. With OLDsomeone you are talking to might have already hate date 1 with a few and have some new first dates planned as well as date 2 planned. Naturally they might want to see how these go before starting something with you. how old are you? I.rL it was always easier to meet people in your terns to mid 20s. You tended to hang out in groups and easily socialize before life started. In your late 20s after life starts and peop,e get married off it’s harder because you don’t have the social network ir the common hang outs. In your professional career you aren’t going to date co workers like you were more willing to do when you had just a job. Then it becomes harder to meet peop,e for relationships. You might meet someone else but you don’t know if they are available to date. It be nice if there was a places that just singles hung out. When your older your social networking will be limited. You might get set up from friends or through social groups like church ir volunteer teen groups, or interest groups. It’s just much much harder. It’s more difficult if you might not want someone who already has kids or was married before. I suppose you're right that I shouldn't delete as quickly. Although if there's no contact within 18 days of first contact, Match automatically deletes the" match". I'm over 50, and yep it's much more difficult to meet guys at this stage. Even with meetups, I've only met one guy that peaked my interest but he was like 14 years younger so I didn't want to pursue it since he had no idea of our age difference, lol. Of course with Covid, ugh, not meeting anyone irl without Match.
glows Posted September 20, 2021 Posted September 20, 2021 9 hours ago, Sam2020 said: Why would you not at least response with "I don't think we're a match", which is what I do. Quite honestly I'm very attractive, physically fit, active and nothing has changed as far as how I respond to men since the beginning when all the guys responded. Could I be getting the "left over's", lol! It's quite frustrating to feel like I'm being ghosted. I'd much prefer a message saying we're not a match. The non-response says that you are not a match. Don't wait indefinitely but let the app do the work for you. You don't have to delete. Chat with the next match. Take breaks if it's becoming too routine or join a club or group in person. Give the online apps a break.
chillii Posted September 20, 2021 Posted September 20, 2021 (edited) 6 hours ago, Sam2020 said: Man I hate online dating these days. It was so much nicer to meet a guy irl! Thanks Thing is , 50s, rl , it's lead to the same place in the end anyway right , and OL isn't stopping anyone from meeting someone in RL anyway . People are still working and living and going places but they obviously aren't meeting someone, that's the way l look at it. lt doesn't have to stop rl not like anyone's gonna be locked up and ol 24/7 , you still live. As far as right now yeah l remember back in the day it went in waves, your probably just on a weird wave right now . Anyway , 50s and really attractive and living in paradise , hmmm. lf l was single l'd be checking you out haha. Actually l could well be soon butttt, nother story. Anyway wouldn't stress , take a break maybe or just let the wave go by. Weirdest thing , when l was on it way back , l always remember talking to one girl , late 40s , she was such a special lady, in person attitude and in looks . Yet she told me in 18 mths she hadn't had one date , hth did that even happen. Although she did have 4kids, adults and out but still , that was why l never took it any further actually , maybe that was it for others too, don't know. Edited September 20, 2021 by chillii
Author Sam2020 Posted September 20, 2021 Author Posted September 20, 2021 11 hours ago, glows said: The non-response says that you are not a match. Don't wait indefinitely but let the app do the work for you. You don't have to delete. Chat with the next match. Take breaks if it's becoming too routine or join a club or group in person. Give the online apps a break. Yes I'm already in many groups but as mentioned earlier, we have pandemic mandates so no group get togethers since the pandemic began. Only go out with 1-3 people at a time. I do take a short break each month as not to get burnt out buy this past month has just been so different with a few flakes, lol! 1
glows Posted September 20, 2021 Posted September 20, 2021 16 minutes ago, Sam2020 said: Yes I'm already in many groups but as mentioned earlier, we have pandemic mandates so no group get togethers since the pandemic began. Only go out with 1-3 people at a time. I do take a short break each month as not to get burnt out buy this past month has just been so different with a few flakes, lol! Sometimes examining the reasons for dating can be a good way to rethink your approach and the way you're talking with people. You may also have once found some individuals attractive who are no longer attractive to you. Tastes change over time. Have you given yourself that room to explore whether your needs, tastes, interests or what you're attracted to in general have changed?
mark clemson Posted September 20, 2021 Posted September 20, 2021 You're certainly not the only one as there are posts here with essentially the same compliant on a regular basis. I've seen a quote that OLD is "the playground of the dysfunctional" but also a "necessary evil" that can sometimes lead to a successful R. Perhaps something to keep in mind...
AnnieB Posted September 20, 2021 Posted September 20, 2021 Whenever I go on OLD, I stay on for a day or two and then erase the app. I conclude that I don’t need a relationship THAT bad and carry on
Author Sam2020 Posted September 20, 2021 Author Posted September 20, 2021 3 hours ago, glows said: Sometimes examining the reasons for dating can be a good way to rethink your approach and the way you're talking with people. You may also have once found some individuals attractive who are no longer attractive to you. Tastes change over time. Have you given yourself that room to explore whether your needs, tastes, interests or what you're attracted to in general have changed? Oh yes absolutely. This is my second time on Match, I was on for a few months in late 2019, met a guy, too many red flags that I ignored and ended that relationship. But this time around I'm a lot more open to men I don't necessarily find physically appealing and have actually met a few of them. I realize it's an odds game. And being on an island is a bit limiting as well. I get a lot of men messaging from the 48 but I'm not into long distance. Been there, done that. I want someone that I can do things with, not a penpal.
Wiseman2 Posted September 20, 2021 Posted September 20, 2021 On 9/19/2021 at 5:24 PM, Sam2020 said: Why would you not at least response with "I don't think we're a match", which is what I do. Many people find this unnecessary. Unfortunately ghosting is the new "we're not a match". Try other sites for a while. You seem burned out by this one.
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