toomanyredflagsornot Posted September 15, 2021 Posted September 15, 2021 Dating a good friend of one of my exes. My ex and I broke up a couple of years ago and he has been with somebody else ever since. However, I recently heard he still has feelings for me but I have no feelings for him whatsoever. The friend I’m dating decided to tell him that we’ve been going out so we didn’t hear from somebody else and leaders to say he was very unhappy. He also told the man that how horrible I was how he didn’t have enough money for me how I checked his credit have I cheated on him all the time etc. of course most if not all of this was just completely untrue. I broke up with him because he kept on lying to me and refused to live within his financial means which scared me because he wanted to live with me. In any event I’m willing to move forward and so is the new person I’m seeing that I feel guilty that he has lost this friendship as well as a mutual friend of theirs who is taking my exes side. I also was told today to “be careful“ with the new guy. This came from somebody that I ran into having nothing to do with my ex. It was it’s a small town a lot of people know each other person but I’ve known this other guy for almost 8 years and while I don’t know all his personal matters, I do know he’s been married and divorced a few times he has two gray is two grown children. At some point in the near future I will approach him and ask him if there’s something I need to know because frankly my age parentheses I’m already in my 60s, the last thing I want is drama or problems. It is all of this paint a bad picture or should I just continue to see how things evolve?
d0nnivain Posted September 15, 2021 Posted September 15, 2021 If you like your current guy, date him Married & divorced "a few times" seems like a red flag to me. I wouldn't consider marrying him but he's probably a fun companion so carry on. At your ages, it's ridiculous that your EX can't be more civil about things, considering that he has also moved on. You & the guy did the right thing by telling the EX. The EX showed his true colors by lying about you. Sounds like the guy knows that so he's not mourning the loss of the friendship with your EX the liar. Hold your head high & enjoy this romance but be cautious. 1
Wiseman2 Posted September 15, 2021 Posted September 15, 2021 (edited) 45 minutes ago, toomanyredflagsornot said: I recently heard he still has feelings for me. The friend I’m dating decided to tell him that we’ve been going out. I also was told today to “be careful“ with the new guy. I’m already in my 60s, the last thing I want is drama or problems. Keep your love-life as private as possible. It seems unwise to jump into your exes friendship group and date someone. It seems there is way too much hearsay and gossip to determine what is nonsense, what is people stirring up drama and what is worthwhile listening to. Try to broaden your horizons, both with friends and dating. Take classes, volunteer, get a side hustle, join some clubs and groups, take up a sport, etc. Most of all, get on some quality dating apps with a good profile and pics and start talking to and meeting men for coffee. Edited September 15, 2021 by Wiseman2
glows Posted September 15, 2021 Posted September 15, 2021 Did you ask your current partner why he let the cat out of the bag without discussing it with you first? It's been two years so why is the town reacting this way? This is really about the two of you and your relationship, whether it's worth pursuing. Do you doubt or distrust your partner now for any other reasons? I don't think you should feel guilty for your partner losing his friendship as friendships that are meant to last will last. Is your partner bringing this up quite often to make you feel guilty? Frankly neither of these men sound great - your partner now for the way he makes you feel (uncertain, questioning and doubtful) and most certainly your ex who is a liar.
Ami1uwant Posted September 15, 2021 Posted September 15, 2021 If you are in your50s you probably have had some divorces.
ExpatInItaly Posted September 16, 2021 Posted September 16, 2021 11 hours ago, toomanyredflagsornot said: I do know he’s been married and divorced a few times he has two gray is two grown children. I realize this is an odd auto-correct, but did you just mean he has two grown children? I would be wary of someone with multiple divorces. One, sure. Two, three....I would be wondering why this person keeps getting married and why those marriages keep disintegrating. It doesn't necessarily mean he's a bad guy but it could very well mean he's got some dysfunctional tendencies in relationships. Did you ask this other person why you should be careful with your boyfriend? Independent of that, have you noticed anything that makes you uncomfortable about him?
smackie9 Posted September 16, 2021 Posted September 16, 2021 This person that told you to be careful…..be careful about what?
Recommended Posts