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Choosing the Right Girl?


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Posted

Hello.  I, a 26 year old Male, have been with my girlfriend, 22 year old Female, for a little over a year now. She's been amazing, we get along really well, we share the same values and aspirations, we are both creative and love making art and music. Her personality is also the polar opposite to mine, I am quiet and laid back whereas she is energetic and very out-going, but I believe this helps us compliment each other. The only major problem in our relationship has been from me. I still have eyes for other women and unfortunately will fantasize and check out other girls from time to time. Not that my girlfriend isn't amazing and attractive, its just sometimes I think about being with someone who has more interests in common with me or are more "my type" when it comes to looks. I have even tired in the past to break up with her to pursue other women, but would eventually come back to my girlfriend since I didn't want to lose her in the end. I realize that this is very unfair to her and I want to put an end to it. Is this something I can get under control and eventually stop thinking about being with a different girl? I am I just fantasizing about a "perfect" girl that doesn't exist and projecting that on my girlfriend? Or is this something telling me I am unhappy deep down and a break up with my girlfriend is inevitable?

Posted

Simple... you are fantasizing about other girls, and already thought about breaking up......... then just do it.  Break up, and go find someone else.  Better to do it now, than 4 years down the road. 

 

Posted
10 minutes ago, LarryValentino said:

"my type" when it comes to looks.

What is your type when it comes to looks and how does your gf differ?

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Posted
2 minutes ago, stillafool said:

What is your type when it comes to looks and how does your gf differ?

I also found myself attracted to "bad" girls, or girls that would break rules, dressed more emo/edgy, lived more carefree.  My gf, is fairly opposite, doesn't really do anything to get in trouble, dresses more conservatively, doesn't party as much or do things like smoking/drinking, which I am more fond of.

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Posted

Well that's a big difference and I don't see your girlfriend changing her personality to being one of those girls.  You're probably going to have to end it with her out of boredom because you like another type.  Don't waste her time, break up so she can be free to be with a guy who wants a girl just like her.   There are plenty of "bad girls" out there so you should have no problem finding one.   Problem - they usually hang out with "bad guys".

Posted
1 hour ago, LarryValentino said:

My gf, is fairly opposite, doesn't really do anything to get in trouble, dresses more conservatively, doesn't party as much or do things like smoking/drinking, which I am more fond of.

How long have you been dating? Ste yourself free to sow your wild oats. Don't use a "nice" girl as a security blanket.

Posted

You are not ready to commit.  Don't force it.   Let go of your GF.  Go explore.  When you find the person you are ready to settle down with you won't have a wandering eye anymore.  

  • Like 1
Posted

You are still so young.  You only have one life to live so just go and live it.  Do all the things you want to.  Don’t do the things that you are told you should.

Do not stay with her because it feels safe or because you think you should.  Eventually you will check out of the relationship and hurt her more.  The kind thing to do is to be honest and break up with her now.

You may not grow out of it for another 10 years.  Do you really want to waste 10 years of your prime?

 

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