jenny 73 Posted September 13, 2021 Posted September 13, 2021 I have been dating a guy for around 3 months. My foot broke in an accident on the second date (we went bouldering and I fell) he helped me and later on checked on me. I had to do a surgery and we didn't see each other for almost a month. Then we went out and had dinner, I am still using crutches so he picked me up and gave me curbside services as he calls it haha. So he is not much of a texter and I am usually the one who reaches out but this time he was back in town after a 1.5 week vacation and asked if I want to go on a picnic. We got take outs and went to the beach. very nice weather and picnic. We laughed, talked and kissed. The only thing is I wish he would talk more. he doesn't start conversations but talks after I begin or ask him. Later he said he is not in a hurry and told me he is down for watching a movie if I like to. This is because he know I wanted to go to movies badly haha. After a bit, I asked him what do you like to do and he said either the movie or making out in his car (we did this once before this and both had a great time tbh- at least I did and he said so). I said option 2 = make out. everything was going great until I felt like giving him a hand job. he didnt ask for it, and asked me if I want anything but I said I am good. When he came, he seemed tired but asked me if I would like him to do anything and I just kissed him a bit more and said I am ok. However, I was a little disappointed that he seemed tired and ready to leave even though he offered me to ask for anything. eventually I asked him to give me a ride back and i didn't feel like talking much....not the common me. When we got home he kissed me good bye and I told him I felt he didn't pay attention to me at the end and he said he thought I was good. Idk, maybe i felt he is more into me physically rather than genuinely caring about me. I even added that " hope he is not mad or offended at the end and he said no" . I guess either my expectations were higher and I was disappointed or he could have paid more attention to me. Since he normally doesn't begin talking and stuff. I thought It might be a good idea not to reach out until he texts me back. He will be out of town until Friday afternoon. I dont want to loose him because of my own confidence issues but also want to make sure I am not the one who is not being appreciated enough, just cant tell which one applies here. any suggestions welcome.
Ami1uwant Posted September 13, 2021 Posted September 13, 2021 He asked if you wanted-anything from him…you said no. But you seemed to expect something from him. 1
Author jenny 73 Posted September 13, 2021 Author Posted September 13, 2021 Hi Amiluwant! yes I guess I expected him to be more affectionate physically and with words... I know it may have been weird but last time he was more affectionate and I thought it happens again but it didnt
Author jenny 73 Posted September 13, 2021 Author Posted September 13, 2021 do you think I should reach out to him or wait? I am really confused.....
Mrin Posted September 13, 2021 Posted September 13, 2021 (edited) OP: how old are you and what prior experience do you have with men ejaculating? I don't mean that to be rude, just trying to level set on your experience. Also, how old is he? Edited September 13, 2021 by Mrin
glows Posted September 13, 2021 Posted September 13, 2021 (edited) It sounds like you were intimate and then slightly put off by his regular communication style which is more stoic and responsive to you rather than taking the lead in conversations. I’d hold off on any more comments and see each other for a couple more dates. Make your decision then if this isn’t what you’re looking for. Edited September 13, 2021 by glows
Author jenny 73 Posted September 13, 2021 Author Posted September 13, 2021 @Mrin I am 27, he is 30 and i dont have much experience, it was my 3rd time.
Author jenny 73 Posted September 13, 2021 Author Posted September 13, 2021 @glows thanks for the feedback, so either he reaches out or me and yes that makes sense. I sometimes want to straight-up ask but also dont want to scare him off.
Mrin Posted September 13, 2021 Posted September 13, 2021 21 minutes ago, jenny 73 said: @Mrin I am 27, he is 30 and i dont have much experience, it was my 3rd time. Ok. Thanks for sharing. So... After a man cums he can go into a post coital drop. It is the whole "rolling over and falling asleep" thing. It might have been that. Or he might have felt sorts awkward cumming in his car but knowing he didn't satisfy you. Either way, a good rule of thumb is never believe what a man says right before he cums (e.g. trying to get you to have sex) and don't take a man's actions right after he cums personally. That being said - you can tell a lot about a man and how he feels about you if he's still interested in your pleasure after he ejaculates. As to what to do... I will leave that up to some of the ladies on here. 1
glows Posted September 13, 2021 Posted September 13, 2021 44 minutes ago, jenny 73 said: @glows thanks for the feedback, so either he reaches out or me and yes that makes sense. I sometimes want to straight-up ask but also dont want to scare him off. Do you mean asking if he cares about you? You don’t need to ask. Always look at the way he treats you and his attentiveness and interest in planning and meeting for dates. Maybe next time do see a movie. Vary up the things you do or make suggestions. I agree with Mrin that wanting to reciprocate is positive. I can’t believe you broke your foot bouldering too. I’ve broken a foot as well years ago and it’s a pain. Wishing you speedy healing.
Interstellar Posted September 13, 2021 Posted September 13, 2021 (edited) when he asked if you’d like to do anything and you said you’re ok you were talking womanese to him. He took it at face value. He’s a guy not one of your girlfriends so he can’t interpret that. He doesn’t speak womanese. You should’ve said what you really felt instead or just made out with him. Who cares if he’s tired he’ll reciprocate. Edited September 13, 2021 by Interstellar 1
stillafool Posted September 13, 2021 Posted September 13, 2021 11 hours ago, jenny 73 said: After a bit, I asked him what do you like to do and he said either the movie or making out in his car You should have chosen the movie over making out in the car because he knew that is what you wanted to do and was ready to do it to make you happy. You should have just went with that instead of giving him a hand job in a car. 11 hours ago, jenny 73 said: Later he said he is not in a hurry and told me he is down for watching a movie if I like to. This is because he know I wanted to go to movies badly haha. 2
d0nnivain Posted September 13, 2021 Posted September 13, 2021 Maybe he really was tired. That old cliché about men rolling over & going to sleep immediately after sex is true for a reason. Sex induces sleep afterwards. If you don't panic & just act normal, I bet things will be fine. Stop over thinking things.
introverted1 Posted September 13, 2021 Posted September 13, 2021 Why are you giving hand jobs in a car? Don't you each have your own places? After 3 months of dating, who is putting the brakes on sex? 3
Author jenny 73 Posted September 13, 2021 Author Posted September 13, 2021 @glows thank you so much for the kind wish! I have been dealing with it for a while now. did you also break your foot in climbing/bouldering? I appreciate your reply about the date, I guess I am just a bit uncertain because it takes him long time to initiate texts and that makes me think maybe he is not that serious or into me. but he has said he is bad in texting.
Author jenny 73 Posted September 13, 2021 Author Posted September 13, 2021 @Mrin thank you for explaining
Author jenny 73 Posted September 13, 2021 Author Posted September 13, 2021 @Interstellar i know what you mean... I wasnt really sure what I wanted I guess. I am not experienced much maybe that affected this situation but I understand now. Thanks
Author jenny 73 Posted September 13, 2021 Author Posted September 13, 2021 @stillafool I know right.... I hope I get another shot and choose movies this time!
Author jenny 73 Posted September 13, 2021 Author Posted September 13, 2021 @d0nnivain I hope so... I am busy and have things on mind but he is constantly on my mind and I keep overthinking things... i will try to stop thinking and start acting on my goals instead.
Author jenny 73 Posted September 13, 2021 Author Posted September 13, 2021 @introverted1 we do but we both have roommates and that makes things complicated. In terms of the breaks, it was me. I told him I am not ready to have sex yet (I am also not very experienced sexually) and said I need to have emotions and be ready for that and he said no pressure. I wasnt even planning on giving him a hand job and he also never asked for it It just happened in the moment.
Wiseman2 Posted September 13, 2021 Posted September 13, 2021 32 minutes ago, jenny 73 said: I told him I am not ready to have sex yet and said I need to have emotions and be ready for that and he said no pressure. Ok. Try to do things that are more romantic. Skip feeling upset when you do car sexual activity and he "wasn't attentive enough". If you would rather go slowly he's on board with that so why send mixed signals? Wait until you have the confidence, privacy and security to have sexual encounters. 1
stillafool Posted September 13, 2021 Posted September 13, 2021 17 hours ago, jenny 73 said: everything was going great until I felt like giving him a hand job. Don't do this^ if you said this because putting your hands on their penis makes them want sex: 46 minutes ago, jenny 73 said: I told him I am not ready to have sex yet and said I need to have emotions and be ready for that and he said no pressure.
smackie9 Posted September 13, 2021 Posted September 13, 2021 (edited) Guys respond better to flirtiness, up beat conversation, smiles and laughs, even taking steps to take care of things like choosing a movie, etc. Look sexy feminine, nice hair, sexy heels, some pretty fragrance, etc. Gotta butter them up with a complement, and they will want to see you again. if they don't reciprocate your efforts to your expectations, you ditch them, and not ask questions about or look back. You go forward looking for better. Edited September 13, 2021 by smackie9 1
Author jenny 73 Posted September 13, 2021 Author Posted September 13, 2021 14 hours ago, Mrin said: @smackie9 I dont know why that happened but didnt want to restrict myself and my actions atm 1 hour ago, stillafool said: Don't do this^ if you said this because putting your hands on their penis makes them want sex:
Author jenny 73 Posted September 13, 2021 Author Posted September 13, 2021 50 minutes ago, smackie9 said: Guys respond better to flirtiness, up beat conversation, smiles and laughs, even taking steps to take care of things like choosing a movie, etc. Look sexy feminine, nice hair, sexy heels, some pretty fragrance, etc. Gotta butter them up with a complement, and they will want to see you again. if they don't reciprocate your efforts to your expectations, you ditch them, and not ask questions about or look back. You go forward looking for better. I see your point, high heels are hard because I literatlly have been in a cast after our second date and I am restricted on these haha. So far he has responded pretty well I was just hoping he would be more affectionate after he came but not sure if thats reasonable expectation. can you comment a bit more specifically? thanks
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