ExpatInItaly Posted April 6, 2022 Posted April 6, 2022 You’ve posted about this before, I believe under a different account. And my thoughts remain the same - this is a colossal waste of your time. 1
introverted1 Posted April 6, 2022 Posted April 6, 2022 This is super confusing. You've had one actual date? And everything else has been in messaging? 1
stillafool Posted April 6, 2022 Posted April 6, 2022 I think this guy just wants to have sex with you (in person) and for you to do whatever that sexual thing is that he hasn't done with another girl. He keeps asking you what you want because you sound possessive in your conversations with him. He probably thinks you want a bf but is not ready for that with you. He asks you what's wrong because you sound so angry sometimes when you communicate with him. I think it's because you want more than he's giving you. The only thing he's going to do is have sex with you and not actually be your bf. I have read this story before also and in the future you don't have to post this under a new Username you can just continue your story under your original name and thread.
smackie9 Posted April 6, 2022 Posted April 6, 2022 This guy is trying everything to get with you. Relationship? I doubt it. Like I always say if it doesn't feel right, then it's not. I don't understand why you are putting in so much effort to get a different answer from everyone. We can't make your dreams come true. 2
glows Posted April 6, 2022 Posted April 6, 2022 Unfortunately nothing has changed and you’re somewhat of a convenient pass time for him. You’ve posted about this more than once. He’s good at finding things out about you without ever revealing anything about himself so you’re essentially with a ghost or a nobody. You hardly know this man aside from the mild attention he gives you when he asks for sex or decides to say “hey”. If you really need help deciding whether he’s worth your time ask yourself how much you actually know about him and whether you agree with his choices or how he navigates his life. 3
Lisa Posted April 6, 2022 Senior Moderators Posted April 6, 2022 Moderator note @hannabolics95 and @ohjess are the same poster, so their topics have been merged. 1
NuevoYorko Posted April 6, 2022 Posted April 6, 2022 Why are you writing about this person, with whom NOTHING HAPPENED, months later? This is concerning behavior. Move on, and next time you connect with a man who interests you, don't play any games. 1
stillafool Posted April 7, 2022 Posted April 7, 2022 I can't believe that it's almost been a year and you're still pinning over this guy. It was 1 date. You are doing yourself a disservice by holding on to hope that something will ignite between you and this guy. It's time to let it go as he's moved on and is probably with someone else by now. 1
introverted1 Posted April 7, 2022 Posted April 7, 2022 On 4/6/2022 at 7:48 AM, introverted1 said: This is super confusing. You've had one actual date? And everything else has been in messaging? Ok, now I see you are actually Hannabolics. OP, it is concerning that you are still hung up on a guy you had one date with and then jerked around for several weeks. And, in fact, you're still playing games with this guy. It's no wonder that he has started to respond in kind. Let this go. Take some time to work on yourself, with the help of counseling if that's what it takes. Explore why you are unable to treat people with straight-forwardness and respect. Until you can learn to be a good partner, it's unlikely you are going to find dating success. 1
ohjess Posted April 17, 2022 Posted April 17, 2022 The other day after I hadn’t responded to something on Instagram, he messaged me on Snapchat with just ‘hey’ and I got quite annoyed and asked why he was messaging me there. He said ‘talk to me, tell me what’s wrong’. I told him what I didn’t like and then he apologised. I asked what does he want from me essentially and he said he wants to see me. I told him recently that if he wants sex, to make it clear as this is not going anywhere. He said he does. Something came up about him wanting a threesome so I suggested someone and he said he would get really jealous if he didn’t know the guy said he would love to but that he would get jealous. Then asked me if I think that was weird. Then asks me what I’m doing for Easter. He then basically asked me where we should have sex and I asked him where does he want to and then asked about a private place. Instead of suggesting somewhere and I said this is all basically a waste of time and I don’t think that’s he’s willing to follow through, he said he’s sorry and will respond soon as he's at work. I said I don’t expect a reply and that I’m time-limited and so he is by the sounds. We somehow got in contact and last night I was out and we talked almost all day. He asked for my number and said he would tell me when he’s in town next and asked if I would come and see him (he lives 2 hours away). Then today, he was asking what I’m doing tonight and he kept asking where I live so he can come and see me, despite me saying I can’t tonight. He probably asked about 10 times and then said he’s frustrated that we may not ever hang out together and kept apologising. Then asked if I got with anyone last night and then when I sort of was barring him about tonight, he asked if I’m seeing someone else and why I don’t want to see him. I told him I had things to do today/tonight. He accepted and apologised again. Said that I had time to go out last night but not tonight with him and he doesn't understand why.
ExpatInItaly Posted April 17, 2022 Posted April 17, 2022 Why are you bothering with this? Such a waste of time. Surely you have better options?
basil67 Posted April 17, 2022 Posted April 17, 2022 (edited) Seems like a lot of drama for a casual hook up. Why are you still hooked on him? Edited April 17, 2022 by basil67
poppyfields Posted April 17, 2022 Posted April 17, 2022 (edited) 3 hours ago, ohjess said: The other day after I hadn’t responded to something on Instagram, he messaged me on Snapchat with just ‘hey’ and I got quite annoyed and asked why he was messaging me there. He said ‘talk to me, tell me what’s wrong’. I told him what I didn’t like and then he apologised. I asked what does he want from me essentially and he said he wants to see me. I told him recently that if he wants sex, to make it clear as this is not going anywhere. He said he does. Something came up about him wanting a threesome so I suggested someone and he said he would get really jealous if he didn’t know the guy said he would love to but that he would get jealous. Then asked me if I think that was weird. Then asks me what I’m doing for Easter. He then basically asked me where we should have sex and I asked him where does he want to and then asked about a private place. Instead of suggesting somewhere and I said this is all basically a waste of time and I don’t think that’s he’s willing to follow through, he said he’s sorry and will respond soon as he's at work. I said I don’t expect a reply and that I’m time-limited and so he is by the sounds. We somehow got in contact and last night I was out and we talked almost all day. He asked for my number and said he would tell me when he’s in town next and asked if I would come and see him (he lives 2 hours away). Then today, he was asking what I’m doing tonight and he kept asking where I live so he can come and see me, despite me saying I can’t tonight. He probably asked about 10 times and then said he’s frustrated that we may not ever hang out together and kept apologising. Then asked if I got with anyone last night and then when I sort of was barring him about tonight, he asked if I’m seeing someone else and why I don’t want to see him. I told him I had things to do today/tonight. He accepted and apologised again. Said that I had time to go out last night but not tonight with him and he doesn't understand why. Was there a question within that huge wall of text? I didn't see one and wondering what was the point of posting all that. Have you considered blogging? You're quite adept at it. It's not my place to diagnose, but I do believe you need some sort of professional help and hope you will at least consider it. None of this is healthy or "normal," is it @ohjesstoday? Edited April 17, 2022 by poppyfields 1
Wiseman2 Posted April 17, 2022 Posted April 17, 2022 It doesn't seem like you're being strung along. It seems more like he's not interested. Have you read the book "He's Just Not That Into You"? Perhaps it will help you identify the timewasters sooner. 1
stillafool Posted April 17, 2022 Posted April 17, 2022 8 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: Have you read the book "He's Just Not That Into You"? ^^This and he'd be willing to finally see you if sex is on the table. 11 hours ago, ohjess said: He then basically asked me where we should have sex and I asked him where does he want to and then asked about a private place. 1
ohjess Posted May 4, 2022 Posted May 4, 2022 The other day he replied to my story, I didn’t respond and then he asked if I’m free this weekend, quite a few days in advance. About 6 hours later, I opened the message and said I am free the following week. I said something and he responded with a reply to it and then I said something and he didn’t open the message. He didn't open the message for about 4 days and then asked how my weekend has been. I replied the next day saying I’m interested in how he’s been spending his time and hope it was good. No questions. He opened and hadn’t replied for over a week. I then decided to message him saying that my feelings just aren’t there, probably because of how long ago it was when I last saw him and that I don’t feel the chemistry. Then he just randomly asked what I’m doing this weekend, no response to what I said. I said that he’s a good person but I don’t think it was going to work and unfriended him, but he didn’t respond. I feel bad mainly for unfriending him and just hope I haven’t hurt him.
Wiseman2 Posted May 4, 2022 Posted May 4, 2022 It doesn't seem like anyone is stringing anyone along. Yes it's fizzling so yes, delete and block him and all his people from ALL your social media and messaging apps. That way you can move forward without all this background noise.
ExpatInItaly Posted May 4, 2022 Posted May 4, 2022 I don’t think he’s hurt. He doesn’t seem to care at all, actually. 2
BrinnM Posted May 4, 2022 Posted May 4, 2022 (edited) 5 hours ago, ohjess said: I said something and he didn’t open the message. He didn't open the message for about 4 days and then asked how my weekend has been. I replied the next day saying I’m interested in how he’s been spending his time and hope it was good. No questions. He opened and hadn’t replied for over a week. I then decided to message him saying that my feelings just aren’t there, probably because of how long ago it was when I last saw him and that I don’t feel the chemistry. Then he just randomly asked what I’m doing this weekend, no response to what I said. I said that he’s a good person but I don’t think it was going to work and unfriended him, but he didn’t respond. I feel bad mainly for unfriending him and just hope I haven’t hurt him. The bolded. Nope – you haven't hurt him. He doesn't want to have this conversation about feelings & how you think you don't see one another enough. It's a one-way conversation. A monologue. Not sure what he wants, or if he wants something at all, but what he wants is most certainly not a relationship, or a relationship talk, or a meaningful conversation. I don't understand, though, why you still try to start that type of a conversation. Edited May 4, 2022 by BrinnM 2
stillafool Posted May 4, 2022 Posted May 4, 2022 No he's not hurt. He only checked in on you every 2-3 weeks and then wasn't even sure about wanting sex, just mentioning stuff; i.e. threesomes, and then not getting back to you. He doesn't care. I hope you meet another guy who actually wants to date you and follows through.
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