Author hannabolics95 Posted December 5, 2021 Author Posted December 5, 2021 12 hours ago, introverted1 said: Is it still this guy? Yes.
Author hannabolics95 Posted December 5, 2021 Author Posted December 5, 2021 13 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: Have you had another date with him? Not since he's now in quarantine but he asked to see me when he's out.
introverted1 Posted December 5, 2021 Posted December 5, 2021 6 hours ago, hannabolics95 said: Yes. I find it amazing he's hung in there. You have been incredibly indirect with this guy, with so many instances of not replying to his messages, etc. I can't tell where the latest post fits into the timeline; sometimes it is better to reopen your old thread so everyone can see the history and where the current problem fits. In any case, it sounds like you have managed 1 date since April, in which case, I would say interest is low. Added to that, he is moving away. I think it would be a good idea to start over with someone now, and leave all the game playing behind you. 1
Wiseman2 Posted December 5, 2021 Posted December 5, 2021 7 hours ago, hannabolics95 said: Not since he's now in quarantine but he asked to see me when he's out. Ok. Time to get a good profile and pics on quality dating apps and start talking to and meeting available interested single men. Date men who want to see you on a regular basis and want a relationship with you. Have you read the book "He's Just Not That Into You"? It may help you identify and avoid timewasters like this man. 2
ExpatInItaly Posted December 5, 2021 Posted December 5, 2021 8 hours ago, hannabolics95 said: Yes. You need to move on from him. 2
Saracena Posted December 5, 2021 Posted December 5, 2021 On 12/4/2021 at 3:58 PM, hannabolics95 said: Then asked if I’m looking for someone casual at all, perhaps asked me this as a while back when we were talking, Given he said this, I get the sense he is looking more for something casual especially now he's moving away.
Author hannabolics95 Posted December 18, 2021 Author Posted December 18, 2021 This guy messaged me first quite a few times before I had responded on Instagram. I then realised it was a few months and I hadn’t responded so I messaged him. We spoke for probably a whole month before the meeting. He has offered breakfast/study dates before too. We ended up going out for dinner. Had very good chats, seems like a really lovely guy and nothing sexual. Some cute messages to each other, like him sending me photos of what he does for work and him telling me that he often thinks about me. He told me he was a bit nervous before picking me up. He picked me up from my house and before he got to mine, he texted me saying would I like him to meet my parents or just pick me up. He paid for dinner and it went really well in terms of chats, felt like a really caring and respectful guy, talked about family and all those nice things. One thing is that he takes great interest in my life and wants to make things easier for me (or so it feels at times), for example wanting to help me out with studying etc. He dropped me home and did not indicate anything about going back to his which was good. He asked if I would like to do this again and I said yes. When we got back to my house to drop me home, my mother was just coming home and he waited and said hello to her. He then said she was lovely. I could tell he wanted to kiss as he sort of just kept looking at me, I said something and then we kissed. He messaged me a few hours later thanking me, kept in on and off-contact for the week, he told me he was tired but good. He asked about my plans for the weekend and I did the same, he is very busy and works in the medical field. He hasn’t mentioned anything about catching up again. He asked about a job interview over the weekend and I didn’t respond till about 5 days later. In one of our messages, I sort of implied that I wasn’t sure when I would be seeing him next and he sent a sweet message saying he hopes to get to know me better and see where things go. That he was busy but should have more time once exams are finished and that he does want to see me again. I told him I supported him and that I don’t expect him to keep in contact. He initiates a lot and has initiated predominately. He’ll message, we’ll talk for a bit and then maybe I won’t respond if it doesn’t require a response and then he’ll send a follow-up message asking about something. He asked about studying together. I suggested we should go to the beach/study together. He asked me a few other questions, asking where the apartment is etc as I’m probably buying one soon. He’s currently in quarantine and we’ve been messaging a fair bit, him following up if I don’t respond etc. He told me about some job offers he took, asking what we want to do when we catch up. Today, he asked me about what I’m looking for (to clarify) as he has to move away which is about 2 hours away with a sad face. Told him I want to see where things go and that I do like him, he agreed to talk in person. Then asked if I’m looking for someone casual at all, perhaps asked me this as a while back when we were talking, I said I probably didn’t have the capacity for anything serious but would be open to it. He questioned at the time and said ‘I thought you were looking for something serious?’ I said not pursuing something casual but the same for a relationship. He agreed that we should talk about this and see how/where things go. I told him I liked him as I feel like I've poorly expressed it. The other night I was frustrated and sent him a text saying that he had a chance to see me after my exams but nothing happened. That I would always be understanding of how busy he is but don’t f*** me around. That if he has no intentions of seeing me, then stop with the teasing. I sort of accused him that he would be out of quarantine by now. He replied a bit abruptly saying that he’s only out today and that he was going to ask to see me once he was out but didn’t want to double message and seem needy (when I look back at my messages, he’s doubled messaged a lot). He said I was slightly harsh about the quarantine comment. I apologised and stated I didn't know exactly when it finished for him. I finally asked him if he’ll be free soon to have a chat about where things are going and he said he’ll be free and that we should talk. He took a while to respond to that message. I suggested I just come over to his. Random and maybe doesn’t mean anything, but I’ve noticed he’s started using ‘we’ or ‘us’ more. I told him I've missed him since I last saw him but he didn't say anything to that comment. He also didn't return the 'I like you' when he asked what I'm looking for. I simply asked him if he’ll be free as I think it would be good to have the talk/clear the air and he just said that he will be and that we should talk. I said to him that I understand about him going back into life after quarantine and willing to give him space but let me know when suits as I didn’t think doing this over text is the right way. He only liked some last message when I apologised for being so late. He never responded. Then 2 days later, I basically tell him that I cannot shake my concerns and I’m worried his communication of not telling me when his exams/quarantine ended is going to hinder something serious. I told him I didn’t see the reason to participate in this any further really and wished him the best about moving away and unfollowed him. I told him that it dispirited me when I opened up about how I felt and didn’t get anything in return and that if he had been sending me the messages I have sent, I would drop everything and see him but I don’t think he is. I sent that 2 days ago and still haven't heard anything. **TL;DR** guy I’ve been talking to for almost 5 months straight, I haven’t seen him since late August and been frustrated. He seems to be into me but unsure of his intentions. He asked me again recently what I’m looking for and is moving 2 hours away. 1
Wiseman2 Posted December 18, 2021 Posted December 18, 2021 1 hour ago, hannabolics95 said: I’ve been talking to for almost 5 months straight, I haven’t seen him since late August and been frustrated. He is moving 2 hours away. It's time to let go. You haven't dated in months and it was one date. He's just not interested or has a wife/GF. If you want a relationship. You'll have to start meeting men in real life or through dating apps. 2
introverted1 Posted December 18, 2021 Posted December 18, 2021 You keep posting about this guy in new threads, which makes it hard for people to know the real back-story. In any case, you have already given him multiple ultimatums and made various accusations about his motives. It's surprising he is even talking to you at all. Time to move on. 6
glows Posted December 18, 2021 Posted December 18, 2021 You did the right thing. Let go. There is also nothing to talk about. Be free. 2
Sun Seeker Posted December 18, 2021 Posted December 18, 2021 (edited) [] This is going nowhere. Move on, like you should have months ago. Edited December 18, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Off topic 3 1
ExpatInItaly Posted December 18, 2021 Posted December 18, 2021 OP, with respect, have you dated much before? 1
jdesey Posted December 19, 2021 Posted December 19, 2021 I’ll respond by telling you this phrase that really helps me in this whole dating thing. “When the right woman comes along it will be easy“ The awesome applies whether you’re a man or a woman. I read all of your post and it just seems difficult. I mean months and months and then you respond. What do you think he’s thinking? I know I would be thinking this is a woman that has a very low level of interest in myself. So it’s no big surprise that it kind of fizzled out after the first date 1
ExpatInItaly Posted December 19, 2021 Posted December 19, 2021 I don't think he is married. I think OP had low interest in him (which is evident several times in this thread) and also made some pretty big goofs herself in getting mad and making accusations and demands. He subsquently lost interest, yes. But I don't think it's accurate to suggest this is all his fault. OP had a role in this too. 3
Alpacalia Posted December 19, 2021 Posted December 19, 2021 This one is finished, in my opinion. You mentioned (in another thread if I recall correctly) how he texted after your first date and asked if he could slap your bum. How did you react to that, if I may ask. He may have more to do with this than you do. 1
Author hannabolics95 Posted December 20, 2021 Author Posted December 20, 2021 22 hours ago, S2B said: The guy is either a low interest guy or married. he has every excuse. None of which ever kept any available man from seeing me - even when they were SUPER busy! notice he never responded when you needed to see where he lives? Notice he doesn’t want to talk about how he isn’t really making the effort to SEE you? he makes loads and loads of empty suggestions to “see you soon” but never follows through. the guy is worthless and wasting your time and energy! when any man WANTS to SEE you - nothing will stop him! Not even a busy schedule! I’d bet $100 he is very much married! Married and getting an ego boost from flirting by text with making almost no effort. Next time any guy should make sure he plans a date within a week and let’s you know exactly what that plan is. Anything less is a time waster. There is no way this man is married, that is completely out of the books. He is only 26. Sorry - what do you mean by he never responded when I needed to see where he lived? Huh?
Author hannabolics95 Posted December 20, 2021 Author Posted December 20, 2021 19 hours ago, Alpaca said: This one is finished, in my opinion. You mentioned (in another thread if I recall correctly) how he texted after your first date and asked if he could slap your bum. How did you react to that, if I may ask. He may have more to do with this than you do. I think you might be misrepresenting it a bit. He didn't ask if he could slap by bum after the date. He said that weeks/months later when I said something a bit flirty/sexual. 1
stillafool Posted December 20, 2021 Posted December 20, 2021 9 hours ago, hannabolics95 said: He is only 26. What does beinig 26 have to do with marriage? People marry younger than that.
Author hannabolics95 Posted December 20, 2021 Author Posted December 20, 2021 52 minutes ago, stillafool said: What does beinig 26 have to do with marriage? People marry younger than that. Good point but he's not married.
Author hannabolics95 Posted January 3, 2022 Author Posted January 3, 2022 Unsure why he unliked a photo of mine that he previously liked. Not sure why but I'm still very much interested in this person.
glows Posted January 3, 2022 Posted January 3, 2022 (edited) 5 minutes ago, hannabolics95 said: Unsure why he unliked a photo of mine that he previously liked. Not sure why but I'm still very much interested in this person. Like/unlike seems attention-seeking and strange. Maybe it’s the hot/cold that you are attracted to? Edited January 3, 2022 by glows
Author hannabolics95 Posted January 3, 2022 Author Posted January 3, 2022 1 minute ago, glows said: Like/unlike seems attention-seeking and strange. Maybe it’s the hot/cold that you are attracted to? Haha, you're not wrong. I do like space (the cold); just think I had hopes to see where things would have gone with this person. I know that's being unrealistic. Just bummed I may not hear from him again.
glows Posted January 3, 2022 Posted January 3, 2022 It’s ok. It happens. Stay engaged with other things in your life. Tell yourself: “Yes, there’s a rabbithole. But not today.” 1
ohjess Posted April 6, 2022 Posted April 6, 2022 (edited) This guy messaged me first quite a few times before I had responded on Instagram. I then realised it was a few months and I hadn’t responded so I messaged him. We spoke for probably a whole month before the meeting. He has offered breakfast/study dates before too. We ended up going out for dinner. Had very good chats, seems like a really lovely guy and nothing sexual. This was a year ago. Some cute messages to each other, like him sending me photos of what he does for work and him telling me that he often thinks about me. He told me he was a bit nervous before picking me up. He picked me up from my house and before he got to mine, he texted me saying would I like him to meet my parents or just pick me up. He paid for dinner and it went really well in terms of chats, felt like a really caring and respectful guy, talked about family and all those nice things. One thing is that he takes great interest in my life and wants to make things easier for me (or so it feels at times), for example wanting to help me out with studying etc. He dropped me home and did not indicate anything about going back to his which was good. He asked if I would like to do this again and I said yes. When we got back to my house to drop me home, my mother was just coming home and he waited and said hello to her. He then said she was lovely. I could tell he wanted to kiss as he sort of just kept looking at me, I said something and then we kissed. He messaged me a few hours later thanking me, kept in on and off-contact for the week, he told me he was tired but good. He asked about my plans for the weekend and I did the same, he is very busy and works in the medical field. He hasn’t mentioned anything about catching up again. He asked about a job interview over the weekend and I didn’t respond till about 5 days later. In one of our messages, I sort of implied that I wasn’t sure when I would be seeing him next and he sent a sweet message saying he hopes to get to know me better and see where things go. That he was busy but should have more time once exams are finished and that he does want to see me again. I told him I supported him and that I don’t expect him to keep in contact. He initiates a lot and has initiated predominately. He’ll message, we’ll talk for a bit and then maybe I won’t respond if it doesn’t require a response and then he’ll send a follow-up message asking about something. He asked about studying together. I suggested we should go to the beach/study together. He asked me a few other questions, asking where the apartment is etc as I’m probably buying one soon. He’s currently in quarantine and we’ve been messaging a fair bit, him following up if I don’t respond etc. He told me about some job offers he took, asking what we want to do when we catch up. Today, he asked me about what I’m looking for (to clarify) as he has to move away which is about 2 hours away with a sad face. Told him I want to see where things go and that I do like him, he agreed to talk in person. Then asked if I’m looking for someone casual at all, perhaps asked me this as a while back when we were talking, I said I probably didn’t have the capacity for anything serious but would be open to it. He questioned at the time and said ‘I thought you were looking for something serious?’ I said not pursuing something casual but the same for a relationship. He agreed that we should talk about this and see how/where things go. I told him I liked him as I feel like I've poorly expressed it. The other night I was frustrated and sent him a text saying that he had a chance to see me after my exams but nothing happened. That I would always be understanding of how busy he is but don’t mess me around. That if he has no intentions of seeing me, then stop with the teasing. I sort of accused him that he would be out of quarantine by now. He replied a bit abruptly saying that he’s only out today and that he was going to ask to see me once he was out but didn’t want to double message and seem needy (when I look back at my messages, he’s doubled messaged a lot). He said I was slightly harsh about the quarantine comment. I apologised and stated I didn't know exactly when it finished for him. I finally asked him if he’ll be free soon to have a chat about where things are going and he said he’ll be free and that we should talk. He took a while to respond to that message. I suggested I just come over to his. Random and maybe doesn’t mean anything, but I’ve noticed he’s started using ‘we’ or ‘us’ more. I told him I've missed him since I last saw him but he didn't say anything to that comment. He also didn't return the 'I like you' when he asked what I'm looking for. I simply asked him if he’ll be free as I think it would be good to have the talk/clear the air and he just said that he will be and that we should talk. I said to him that I understand about him going back into life after quarantine and willing to give him space but let me know when suits as I didn’t think doing this over text is the right way. He only liked some last message when I apologised for being so late. He never responded. Then 2 days later, I basically tell him that I cannot shake my concerns and I’m worried his communication is going to hinder something serious. I told him I didn’t see the reason to participate in this any further really and wished him the best about moving away and unfollowed him. I told him that it dispirited me when I opened up about how I felt and didn’t get anything in return and that if he had been sending me the messages I have sent, I would drop everything and see him but I don’t think he is. That was a few months ago. Fast forward, he said to me recently that he can't promise more time than what he can give (not going to specify his job) - again, I wasn't asking for anything but he asked me again a few weeks ago what I was looking for. As after our first date, something came up as we sort of had an argument and I said I didn't have the capacity for a relationship. He said he wanted to get to know me and see where things go and that I wasn't someone he would just keep around in his orbit. He often says about coming down to see him and staying with him where his new job is which I think will be ending somewhat soon. Anyway, lately we've been quite sexual with each other over message/snapchat; has been fun but I'm a bit concerned. There's an act that he wants me to do to him that he's never asked anyone else. The other night he messaged me saying he was at a party and wanted me to come and be with him. He said he would invite me to another one soon. He mentioned that he slept with someone, didn't finish and that he was thinking about me the whole time. He asked if I would be annoyed that he slept with someone. He called me 'baby' for the first time recently too. Something came up and he told me he trusts me as a person (I assume) and that I'm respectful. Sometimes, he'll just send a short 'hey' message. But he can be very sweet, and I do feel there is that between us; for example, he apologised for falling asleep one night and hoped I slept well. I told him I was seeing someone very briefly for a few weeks a few months ago and he was quite inquisitive of who it was. Seemed a bit jealous and that if this guy and I weren't exclusive, we should grab a drink when he's in town next. We've had a few issues with communication and he's admitted that he's better in person - not in terms of texting me enough, just more serious matters. The other day after I hadn’t responded to something on Instagram, he messaged me on Snapchat with just ‘hey’ and I got quite annoyed and asked why he was messaging me there. He said ‘talk to me, tell me what’s wrong’. I told him what I didn’t like and then he apologised. I asked what does he want from me essentially and he said he wants to see me. **TL;DR** lately have been quite sexual and unsure what he truly wants - despite him often asking what *I* want. He will often, almost always initiate communication with me even if it's something short and then proceeds to ask about me/my day. Asked me why I was stressed about something recently. He would often suggest coffee/study dates. Often I do not respond to his messages and he would send another one. Edited April 6, 2022 by a LoveShack.org Moderator language
Wiseman2 Posted April 6, 2022 Posted April 6, 2022 He seems like a waste of your time and energy. Delete and block him from all your social media and messaging apps. Get a good profile and pics on quality dating apps and start talking to and meeting local single interested men.
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