sushiandtacos Posted September 10, 2021 Posted September 10, 2021 Hey ya'll I went out with a guy last Sunday and it was honestly one of the most fun dates I've had in a really long time. Then he asked to make dinner because we both talked about how we like cooking so I went over Wed and had another good time spending time with each other and had our first kiss. And we are going to go hiking this Sunday. Is that too much time with one person in a week? Granted I only met him for the first time less than a week ago... I just don't want to go too fast where it also ends quickly (God forbid) and worried about the pacing. Want to know your thoughts
Gaeta Posted September 10, 2021 Posted September 10, 2021 Technically each week starts with Sunday so you had 2 dates this week and you're starting next week with a date. Let see how next week unfolds. 2
Author sushiandtacos Posted September 10, 2021 Author Posted September 10, 2021 @Gaeta Just wasn't sure if in the beginning few dates it should be weekly or not
Gaeta Posted September 10, 2021 Posted September 10, 2021 3 minutes ago, sushiandtacos said: @Gaeta Just wasn't sure if in the beginning few dates it should be weekly or not It's your preference. I like a couple of dates a week at the beginning. We're in the business of getting to know each other so we need a minimum of time together. Three dates a week would be a lot at beginning for me, I would not want to over-do it and then lose interest. The anticipation between dates is as important as the dates. 2 1
Author sushiandtacos Posted September 10, 2021 Author Posted September 10, 2021 (edited) 5 minutes ago, Gaeta said: It's your preference. I like a couple of dates a week at the beginning. We're in the business of getting to know each other so we need a minimum of time together. Three dates a week would be a lot at beginning for me, I would not want to over-do it and then lose interest. The anticipation between dates is as important as the dates. I was also thinking that! I didn't want it to fizzle out quickly if we come off too strong initially... Edited September 10, 2021 by sushiandtacos wrong word
glows Posted September 10, 2021 Posted September 10, 2021 It's up to you. It seems fine to me. You are enjoying your company with each other. Find out more about him. 1
Ami1uwant Posted September 10, 2021 Posted September 10, 2021 1 hour ago, sushiandtacos said: Hey ya'll I went out with a guy last Sunday and it was honestly one of the most fun dates I've had in a really long time. Then he asked to make dinner because we both talked about how we like cooking so I went over Wed and had another good time spending time with each other and had our first kiss. And we are going to go hiking this Sunday. Is that too much time with one person in a week? Granted I only met him for the first time less than a week ago... I just don't want to go too fast where it also ends quickly (God forbid) and worried about the pacing. Want to know your thoughts nothing wrong here…one date sat or sun and a mid week date is fine. 1
Alpacalia Posted September 10, 2021 Posted September 10, 2021 I always thought 1-2 dates a week were appropriate because you want to gradually introduce one other into your lives, but if you both have the time and like/enjoy more togetherness right off the bat, 1-3 times per week sounds fine. 1
Author sushiandtacos Posted September 10, 2021 Author Posted September 10, 2021 Now we're seeing each other tomorrow too
Amanda92 Posted September 11, 2021 Posted September 11, 2021 I think it's good. You will know him better faster. Good luck! 1
FMW Posted September 11, 2021 Posted September 11, 2021 I think it's OK, just keep in mind it takes spending time together over a longer period to truly get to know each other. Enjoy, but keep your expectations under control. 1
poppyfields Posted September 11, 2021 Posted September 11, 2021 (edited) Hi sushi, to me this sounds fine, even the spontaneous date tonight. It sounds like you're super into each other which is great! But keep in mind what's driving him now is most likely his hormones, so be prepared for him to push for or at least suggest sex, which is NOT a bad thing, it's normal and to be expected in my experience It means he's attracted to you and wants to 'seal the deal." Maintain boundaries if you're not ready. The only issue I foresee is when you see each other so much in the beginning, you come to expect that pace to continue and any slight 'pulling back' when things start to settle can cause anxiety and insecurity. I've seen this happen after which the woman starts complaining he's not "consistent." Or he's "pulling back." But as long as you're able to remain flexible to all the changes nuances, which there always is especially in early stages (assuming you continue dating), enjoy!! Edited September 11, 2021 by poppyfields 1
ExpatInItaly Posted September 11, 2021 Posted September 11, 2021 If you're okay with it, have at it. It's too subjective to say what's too much (or too little) for someone else. 1
Alpacalia Posted September 11, 2021 Posted September 11, 2021 Four dates in one week? Yippers. Guess he likes what he sees. So not to be a killjoy, but If you go at a slower pace, you'll have more time to think about the date and determine whether the sparks you feel are genuine or something else entirely. There's no hard/fast rules but you don't want to get into a relationship by default, fall into a love bubble, and then come to find out he has like five toes or something. 1
chillii Posted September 11, 2021 Posted September 11, 2021 Up to you. That sort of thing to me would be mainly just about self preservation bc seeing a lot of ea other early on is just gonna hurt a lot more if things don't work out. But eh , if you don't mind that possibility , go with it.
Author sushiandtacos Posted September 11, 2021 Author Posted September 11, 2021 I think I'm gonna slow the pace down bc I don't think it's sustainable and tbh I was left feeling less excited after we spent the day together today. Also he hasn't escalated anything physical yet besides kissing on the second date... and today we barely had physical contact so confused about that too. But to be fair alcohol wasn't involved today but it was on the second date.
poppyfields Posted September 11, 2021 Posted September 11, 2021 (edited) 24 minutes ago, sushiandtacos said: Also he hasn't escalated anything physical yet besides kissing on the second date... and today we barely had physical contact so confused about that too... Do you think this^ is, in part, why you're less excited? I know for me, I need to know a man is attracted and desires me (sexually) even if we wait a bit to have sex. But I need some form of physical affection, I would assume he does too. Otherwise, it ends up becoming a platonic friendship. Everyone is different of course, just wondering if you think that's part of it? What about the hike tomorrow (Sunday), is that still on? Edited September 11, 2021 by poppyfields 1
Author sushiandtacos Posted September 11, 2021 Author Posted September 11, 2021 8 minutes ago, poppyfields said: Do you think this^ is, in part, why you're less excited? I know for me, I need to know a man is attracted and desires me (sexually) even if we wait a bit to have sex. But I need some form of physical affection, I would assume he does too. Otherwise, it ends up becoming a platonic friendship. Everyone is different of course, just wondering if you think that's part of it. What about the hike tomorrow (Sunday), is that still on? I think it's definitely part of it, I think things should escalate physically at every date. So if we kissed last date, I was expecting more physical contact today but that didn't happen but we were out in public for most of the day so maybe that's why? We're rescheduling that bc I forgot I had an assignment due Monday haha
Author sushiandtacos Posted September 11, 2021 Author Posted September 11, 2021 10 minutes ago, poppyfields said: I know for me, I need to know a man is attracted and desires me (sexually) even if we wait a bit to have sex. But I need some form of physical affection, I would assume he does too. So do you think I should initiate more physically?? 1
poppyfields Posted September 11, 2021 Posted September 11, 2021 (edited) 22 minutes ago, sushiandtacos said: So do you think I should initiate more physically?? If you're comfortable with that, why not? But honestly, when it's right between two people, physical affection (not sex necessarily) should happen naturally and organically between the both of you. It's not anything either of you are even consciously aware of, it just happens naturally when there is a mutual attraction. My experience. I think you know deep down being out in public isn't the reason that didn't happen.. Edited September 11, 2021 by poppyfields
Author sushiandtacos Posted September 12, 2021 Author Posted September 12, 2021 31 minutes ago, poppyfields said: If you're comfortable with that, why not? But honestly, when it's right between two people, physical affection (not sex necessarily) should happen naturally and organically between the both of you. It's not anything either of you are even consciously aware of, it just happens naturally when there is a mutual attraction. My experience. I think you know deep down being out in public isn't the reason that didn't happen.. He was def more touchy in public and private on the second date I just dont know why it wasn't the same today but maybe he was looking for me to initiate? LOL idk i need to stop overthinking
poppyfields Posted September 12, 2021 Posted September 12, 2021 38 minutes ago, sushiandtacos said: We're rescheduling that bc I forgot I had an assignment due Monday haha You cancelling tomorrow may have something to do with this too, and why he was hesitant to escalate physically. I mean so what if you have an assignment due Monday? You couldn't meet for two hours? Sunday brunch or something? This may be what he was thinking too, but who knows.
poppyfields Posted September 12, 2021 Posted September 12, 2021 Just now, sushiandtacos said: He was def more touchy in public and private on the second date I just dont know why it wasn't the same today but maybe he was looking for me to initiate? LOL idk i need to stop overthinking No I definitely do not think he was waiting for you to initiate physically sushi. Lol Most men are not wired that way especially given he had no problem initiating on the second date! Something happened, and as I said it could because you broke your date tomorrow, when you really didn't need to imho. A very interested woman would not have, and again this may be what he is thinking to. Possibly thinking, it's impossible to know for sure. Did you schedule another date?
Alpacalia Posted September 12, 2021 Posted September 12, 2021 1 hour ago, sushiandtacos said: Also he hasn't escalated anything physical yet besides kissing on the second date... and today we barely had physical contact so confused about that too. But to be fair alcohol wasn't involved today but it was on the second date. This is why it can be beneficial to pace yourself at times. Regardless of how much you like the other person, you should still be cautious and give yourself plenty of time to absorb each date. I know it can be tempting to want to spend a lot of time together but, the less anxious you are, the better. 1
Author sushiandtacos Posted September 12, 2021 Author Posted September 12, 2021 1 hour ago, poppyfields said: No I definitely do not think he was waiting for you to initiate physically sushi. Lol Most men are not wired that way especially given he had no problem initiating on the second date! Something happened, and as I said it could because you broke your date tomorrow, when you really didn't need to imho. A very interested woman would not have, and again this may be what he is thinking to. Possibly thinking, it's impossible to know for sure. Did you schedule another date? But I broke the date about tomorrow at the end of the date when we said goodbye so I don't think that's it... ugh just wish I am not overthinking. I don't think I should reach out to him and wait for him
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