Please answer this. its different from other situations in that its actually my fault

[Esteban1931]

I have a stubborn issue of pushing away the person I love most. After 6 yrs I have pushed the women i love most due to commitement issues. We met young so its not like she was in a rush, in fact she wanted to get engaged next yr. I acted out of line three times this yr and i mean really out of line, drunk and all. Anyway, I pushed her a little too far and now she wants time to figure things out. A few months she said. Shes 2 hours away and I dont think theres anyone else. but she does have a new job, a new apt and now single. will this be a case of out of sight out of mind? Will the NC Rule work if its my fault she left? Wont she just feel like i truly never did love her? I do by the way. Ive searched my soul and i do. Last we spoke she said she misses me and i said "really?" she said yes so i said "really, really?" and she said lets not do this, i dont want you to get your hopes up??? she supposed to call me later this week and is thinking about whether to see me later this month. its only been 3 weeks since the final goodbye. ive contacted her 2 of those 3 weeks. what should i do??