Wiseman2 Posted September 9, 2021 Posted September 9, 2021 31 minutes ago, verygoodlistener said: Whilst we were lying in bed talking I asked her when was the last date she went on. She said a third date, 2 weeks ago. Ok, she seems a bit too flaky to invest too much into.
czanclus Posted September 9, 2021 Posted September 9, 2021 (edited) 8 hours ago, verygoodlistener said: What on earth does this mean? Which part? I didn't mean to presume this was the way you approached her. I've had a personal experience where the date invitation involved a 'no expectations' description in the text, and was then referring to my personal response of accepting even if my interest in beyond platonic was only tentative. The inviter made no objections that the dinner 'date' didn't get beyond platonic, and he paid for the dinner as he also stated in the text exchange that he would. That is proper etiquette. Improper etiquette would have been for him to want a kiss or more afterwards, me declining, and him getting upset that he took me out on a date and I didn't 'put out' in return. When I posted, I didn't realize more comments have come in, and you explained what you did on and prior to the date, so by that time my question was redundant. Also, it does seem like she was into you enough to take it to the bedroom. I am personally not amused by her waffling on what she wants, it seems immature, but you can as you see fit push this some more to see where she lands. I am almost certain you can do better though. Edited September 9, 2021 by czanclus
Author tokidoki Posted September 9, 2021 Author Posted September 9, 2021 oh i see...no I asked her out for a drink just to see what would happen really. She seemed to infer from my calling it a 'date' that I was taking it more seriously than her. But yeah, I made my romantic intentions clear and never discussed the premise of it being platonic. which bit are you referring to as 'waffling on what she wants'?
czanclus Posted September 9, 2021 Posted September 9, 2021 (edited) Well, first it's a go on the get-together that you invite to saying you don't want to be just friends, then it's not a date, then it's OK to go to your place and kiss/cuddle in bed plus stay the night and morning ('pre-date'?... hmm, kids today), then it's silence for a better part of the day, to finally land on just wanting platonic. Maybe I'm just too old for relationships that have no intensity/passion. Or at least that are killing it in the practical realm... Edited September 9, 2021 by czanclus
Author tokidoki Posted September 9, 2021 Author Posted September 9, 2021 (edited) yeah its definitely not congruent. FYI I didn't specify when i asked her out that it was romantic, I thought that was implicit from me, a single man, asking her, a single woman, out for a drink. In the evening. It was later on that I referred to it as a date and she said no, we're just hanging out as friends (with a wry smile). I told her then that I wasn't looking to be her friend. Maybe this date was a little too intense/passionate for her, lol. That's how I move if I feel it though. Edited September 9, 2021 by verygoodlistener
Wiseman2 Posted September 10, 2021 Posted September 10, 2021 This is why being fixed up by friends can go sideways. Just bow out of it politely with friends and find your own dates your own wat.
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