Author AmyHershaw Posted September 7, 2021 Author Posted September 7, 2021 On 9/6/2021 at 6:04 AM, ShyViolet said: So he has a temper problem, he's verbally abusive, he doesn't work, plays video games all day and you have to pay for everything. Sounds like quite a catch. (That was sarcasm). Are you kidding? Do you really not see what a loser this guy is? BREAK UP. Have higher standards for yourself than this. I'm just shaken at the moment. When I first moved in with him, he was working and ambitious. It was when he decided one day to stop working, his reason being he's no better off working than he would be on the money he'd be entitled to for his disability. And that's when everything went downhill, because then I was the only one working and he wouldn't do much round the house and I was paying for most things. I've definitely taken the right step in moving out. 1
Miss Spider Posted September 7, 2021 Posted September 7, 2021 Good for you. Break up in the most low key way possible. Get your stuff out and move what you can then I’d honestly do it through text or something. Sounds like he could get dangerous
Author AmyHershaw Posted September 7, 2021 Author Posted September 7, 2021 On 9/6/2021 at 7:43 AM, ExpatInItaly said: There is no way I would continue this relationship. He has given you no good reason to believe anything will change, but plenty of reasons to run for the hills. You can and should demand better for yourself and find a man who behaves like an actual man and not an angry entitled teenager. I agree it's not good that he acts like that at his age. I mentioned that to him during the row we had and he got annoyed with me calling him immature. I want someone who I can stabilize a family with and he's showing me he wouldn't be able to manage it. He's told me himself that I deserve better. I'm just very hurt at the moment.
Author AmyHershaw Posted September 7, 2021 Author Posted September 7, 2021 On 9/6/2021 at 7:59 AM, Datergirl said: He has retinitis and can still play video games all day (using his eyes) but not work? Hhhhm.... He was working when I got with him and I moved in with him. Then one day, he told me he was stopping working, his reason being he's no better off working than he would be on the money he's entitled to for his disability. But he is using it as an excuse for definite, there's nothing to stop him working from home, which I've said to him. Whether or not he gets a job working from home is another matter.
Author AmyHershaw Posted September 7, 2021 Author Posted September 7, 2021 On 9/6/2021 at 8:04 AM, Calmandfocused said: Firstly, your boyfriends “disability” is an excuse. I work with many people who have varying degrees of disabilities. It’s not impossible to work, adjustments can be made. Also in this day and age your boyfriend could easily get a job working from home. The reality is that your boyfriend is a freeloader. Fact! He doesn’t want to work and he wants you to support him. Wake up and smell the coffee op! Secondly your boyfriend is abusive. He may be different to your previous partner but clearly you have a type. Get rid of this guy and get to therapy to make sure you stop dating and “taking care” of these no- hopers. From previous experience I urge you to get away from him ASAP. The longer it goes on the harder it becomes. He is using it as an excuse for definite. He was working when I started dating him and I moved in with him. He stopped working, because he claimed he's no better off working than he would be on the money he'd be getting for his disability. He's applied for ESA and said if he doesn't get it then he will have to get a job. I asked him what's stopping him from getting a job now and he said it will affect what he gets from ESA. However, he might not even get anything from ESA and he has a house to pay for.
Author AmyHershaw Posted September 7, 2021 Author Posted September 7, 2021 On 9/6/2021 at 8:04 AM, ExpatInItaly said: I was going to comment on that, too. Rather convenient that it prevents him from working but not from gaming all day. OP, with due respect, you need to wake up here. Exactly, he was working when I got with him. He said working was inconvenient for him when he is having to catch public transport there and back and he's finishing when it is dark and he can't see. I've mentioned looking at working from home to him and he's said he will look at it, but whether or not he actually does is another matter. I've definitely made the right decision to move out. 1
stillafool Posted September 7, 2021 Posted September 7, 2021 1 hour ago, AmyHershaw said: I've definitely made the right decision to move out. Yes you did and don't look back. 1
Author AmyHershaw Posted September 7, 2021 Author Posted September 7, 2021 2 hours ago, stillafool said: Yes you did and don't look back. I don't, don't worry. 1
Author AmyHershaw Posted September 7, 2021 Author Posted September 7, 2021 On 9/6/2021 at 4:42 PM, stillafool said: Which is it? Are you back with your parents? If not, you need to be. This guy's temper isn't going to get any better, he isn't going to get help and he isn't going to go to work. If you want a happy life move back to your parents, save up to get your own place and never get back with this guy again. I am back at my parent's and I'm planning on looking at getting my own place. 2
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