LoLo5415 Posted September 4, 2021 Posted September 4, 2021 I’ve met this great guy and we’re ready to transition from dating into a relationship. We’re both Hispanic, so we both use “mami” and “papi” as terms of endearment to one another, which is the norm in our culture. Well, tonight as we were saying our goodnights over the phone he said “Good night Papi”, but I’m a female. He usually says “mami” to me and this struck me as a bit odd coming from him. Could it be a simple mistake or is there something else I should be asking him? Am I overreacting?
basil67 Posted September 4, 2021 Posted September 4, 2021 (edited) Without more information, I would assume that it was just a slip of the tongue. As for whether or not you're overreacting, you haven't told us what your concern is or what you may be worried about, so I can't say. Edited September 4, 2021 by basil67
chillii Posted September 4, 2021 Posted September 4, 2021 Just ask him, it was probably nothing hopefully.
glows Posted September 4, 2021 Posted September 4, 2021 Are you worried he’s bisexual or gay? Take your time getting to know one another and observe a bit more. You should feel comfortable enough to ask. If you feel he’s not telling the truth, stop dating him but not because of his sexuality. It’s because he’s not open or honest enough with you and you do not feel comfortable for that reason. 1
elaine567 Posted September 4, 2021 Posted September 4, 2021 2 hours ago, glows said: stop dating him but not because of his sexuality. Why not though? If he is indeed bisexual or homosexual why wouldn't she dismiss him because of it? 1
d0nnivain Posted September 4, 2021 Posted September 4, 2021 Just ask him. Maybe he was talking to his father or a father figure but if you are right & it was romantic you have a right to know whether he's dating more than you. If you expect exclusivity, the gender of your partner's other SOs doesn't matter as much as their existence. That said, while I would not tolerate my BF dating anybody else when we were supposed to be exclusive, I'm not open-minded enough to accept even a bi-sexual person. I'd be too worried that he would want / need things I could not give him. That idea would make me too crazy to ever be fully confident in my relationship so I would not try to force it 1
Blind-Sided Posted September 4, 2021 Posted September 4, 2021 I know you say you are Hispanic... but are you truly? (to me, being Hispanic, and being of Hispanic decent is different) OK... I know that may sound strange... but if English is his primary language, he may have just said the wrong word. The other side of this is... I'm only second Gen Italian in the USA. My grandparents are straight off the boat. When I was a kid... I would sit in grandma's kitchen, listening to her and her sisters all talking in Italian. But, Grandpap wanted us speaking English. So, many of the traditions faded away. But when I talk with the older crowd in the family... I don't use my Italian any longer because I'm forgetting the words. So... what am I trying to say?? Maybe it was a slip up because it's not his primary language. (or he was just being funny because you were being manly about something) Sorry.... just my random thoughts.
Stevnx3 Posted September 4, 2021 Posted September 4, 2021 Sounds like a mistake to me. Was he tired? Did he have a long day or a few drinks? Some more context to enlighten us would help. Always look at the history of things. If he has a history of calling you mami, then this could be so.
Author LoLo5415 Posted September 4, 2021 Author Posted September 4, 2021 After reading all of your suggestions/comments, I have decided to just come out and ask him. We’re meeting up later today, so I think it would be a good time. We are very open and honest with one another, but I also don’t want to offend him. He’s a very prideful Latino man. I’m a bit on the fence on how to approach and navigate the conversation. Any suggestions? Stevnx3- you bring up a good point. This conversation happened at around 1am as we were getting off the phone after a long day and I knew he was sleepy.
glows Posted September 4, 2021 Posted September 4, 2021 13 minutes ago, LoLo5415 said: After reading all of your suggestions/comments, I have decided to just come out and ask him. We’re meeting up later today, so I think it would be a good time. We are very open and honest with one another, but I also don’t want to offend him. He’s a very prideful Latino man. I’m a bit on the fence on how to approach and navigate the conversation. Any suggestions? Stevnx3- you bring up a good point. This conversation happened at around 1am as we were getting off the phone after a long day and I knew he was sleepy. Just mention that he said Papi the last time you talked. It should not be a big huge deal. Prideful can be translated to fragile and unapproachable. Watch for that if you’re waking on eggshells with a partner. If it was a slip there’s no reason why he wouldn’t be able to laugh about it and reassure you.
IslandSanctuary Posted September 5, 2021 Posted September 5, 2021 If I were him I'd probably dump you for overthinking something so innocent and harmless.
elaine567 Posted September 5, 2021 Posted September 5, 2021 6 hours ago, IslandSanctuary said: overthinking something so innocent and harmless. You don't know it was innocent and harmless, no-one here knows, not even the OP hence why she is questioning it and giving it importance. My guess something about this guy is triggering her "gaydar" consciously/subconsciously and the comment brought it all to the surface.
Wiseman2 Posted September 5, 2021 Posted September 5, 2021 On 9/4/2021 at 12:09 AM, LoLo5415 said: I should be asking him? Am I overreacting? How long have you been dating? What do you mean by transitioning to a relationship? Do you mean physical? Exclusive dating? It's too soon to tell if he was tired misspoke whatever. It's going well so stop looking for weird signs of nothing.
d0nnivain Posted September 5, 2021 Posted September 5, 2021 So what did he say when you asked him about it?
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