d0nnivain Posted September 5, 2021 Posted September 5, 2021 14 hours ago, Lotsgoingon said: A tip: strange as this sounds, you can be more selfish in dating. Not selfish as in cruel and mena and manipulative. But selfish as in, call somebody up and ask them what you want. Let them tell you no. Tune into what you want and start from there. It's not selfish in so much as it's self preservation. That is why in a plane crash they tell you to put your oxygen mask on 1st then help somebody else. You are no good to anybody if you are dead or injured. The concept is the same emotionally. 2
ChatroomHero Posted September 5, 2021 Posted September 5, 2021 She is pushing you away. I had a similar situation, we clicked the first couple of dates and the 3rd date she was pushing me away from the get go. Like she got in my car and in about 5 minutes I was like, why are we even going out if you don't want to go? For me, it was no wonder why she was on the surface a great girl, very attractive, good at conversation, good sense of humor, but single and almost 40. When someone dumps all over you out of the blue, take it for what it's worth, not the rosy picture you want it to be. You getting hotel room for the night after the concert is just fine. You didn;t assume she'd invite you back and if she did you could cancel the room, but it is common sense after drinking and at a concert you weren't going to drive all the way home. It has nothing to do with her and her being upset that she couldn't spend time with you the next morning is crazy because you never expected her to spend time with you in the am. She didn't even know I assume, if you were able to meet with her the next day or had to drive home early in the am. You could have just not told her and it would have had no effect on her life whatsoever. Based on the crying at the bar and her reaction to you getting a room, it seems pretty clear she was pushing you away. Had you not gotten a room she would have been pissed that you were going home. had you told her, no matter what you ended up doing she would have been pissed about it. Basically you planned a nice date and wanted to have fun and she crapped all over it over something you didn't really need to justify or clear with her. I don't think it matters if you contact her again, she pushed you away and I'm sure was happy that it worked because that was her out she was looking for. 1
Calmandfocused Posted September 5, 2021 Posted September 5, 2021 Not read all the replies but I just wanted to say: She very generously has given you a snapshot into what life will be like for you if you continue to date her. This has drama and heartache written all over it. Trust me: you won’t be able to put a foot right with this woman. Ever. One thing Ive learnt in life: some people are single due to no fault of their own. Some are single for good reason. This lady falls into the latter category. Keep on walking if you want to keep your sanity and don’t look back. 1
smackie9 Posted September 5, 2021 Posted September 5, 2021 (edited) OMG run for the frickin hills!! Think about it...if someone has emotional issues from having a few drinks, then you would think the choice would be to stop drinking alcohol as to not act like a total wack job, right? Like why would any person want to be like that in front of anyone? Obviously she doesn't seen to care or she's in denial that she's nuts...She's unstable man, you did the right thing. Edited September 5, 2021 by smackie9
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