Alpacalia Posted September 3, 2021 Posted September 3, 2021 9 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: What does this mean, exactly? Definitely a typo. (I was wondering myself, lol) 1
Author Moo138 Posted September 3, 2021 Author Posted September 3, 2021 1 minute ago, Alpaca said: Definitely a typo. (I was wondering myself, lol) Lol sorry to disappoint
spiderowl Posted September 3, 2021 Posted September 3, 2021 (edited) 15 hours ago, Moo138 said: I was tempted to send a memory message. So on the 20th September last year we went away for the weekend to this little place. Was tempted to just say 1 year ago today we had the best weekend here and maybe a picture of the place. Do you think that’s a good idea? No, absolutely not. A guy did something similar to me once after we had broken up. We were not suited and for me it was over. He sent me pictures of himself and some of the places we'd been together. I felt he was trying to make me feel guilty. It didn't work and it just made me annoyed that he had done this. Keep your self respect and avoid doing anything that brings up the past relationship. Any relationship you might have with her now will be a future one, hopefully a better one. Edited September 3, 2021 by spiderowl 1
Alpacalia Posted September 3, 2021 Posted September 3, 2021 3 hours ago, Moo138 said: Lol sorry to disappoint No worries.
Maldives Posted September 4, 2021 Posted September 4, 2021 (edited) Hey reading all the responses great feedback. Word of advice if you do decide to reach out dont bring up where she's at or the relationship be brief hi how are you doing how you been what you been up to how's work do not talk about the relationship and where she's at. Keep it brief and don't over do it sending messages all the time slowly does it you want to build the trust. Of nothing comes of it at least you can be on good terms with one another. Don't send memories either etc that could be perceived as coercion and manipulation. Keep it brief be about her nothing about relationship and don't over do it you send you wait for a response and then let her digest and have breathing space. Let her be the one to lead and bring up the relationship. Key is don't bring it up (relationship)keep it brief and give her space. Reason being if you start asking where she's at you can bet your bottom dollar she is going to resist and it'll spark a potential argument and make things worse. Be genuine you care for her it's about her and again I can't emphasise enough this a trust building phase and it will take time and require tons of patience from your end. Be brief about her not about you guys. And keep in mind this in the end may garner no results and she walks away go in there knowing that and not with an agenda to get her back. She will pick up on that and resist further Thats coming from hindsight and mistakes I made when trying to work things out with my ex wife and ex's. Edited September 4, 2021 by Goodguy05 1 1
Author Moo138 Posted September 4, 2021 Author Posted September 4, 2021 (edited) 7 hours ago, Goodguy05 said: Hey reading all the responses great feedback. Word of advice if you do decide to reach out dont bring up where she's at or the relationship be brief hi how are you doing how you been what you been up to how's work do not talk about the relationship and where she's at. Keep it brief and don't over do it sending messages all the time slowly does it you want to build the trust. Of nothing comes of it at least you can be on good terms with one another. Don't send memories either etc that could be perceived as coercion and manipulation. Keep it brief be about her nothing about relationship and don't over do it you send you wait for a response and then let her digest and have breathing space. Let her be the one to lead and bring up the relationship. Key is don't bring it up (relationship)keep it brief and give her space. Reason being if you start asking where she's at you can bet your bottom dollar she is going to resist and it'll spark a potential argument and make things worse. Be genuine you care for her it's about her and again I can't emphasise enough this a trust building phase and it will take time and require tons of patience from your end. Be brief about her not about you guys. And keep in mind this in the end may garner no results and she walks away go in there knowing that and not with an agenda to get her back. She will pick up on that and resist further Thats coming from hindsight and mistakes I made when trying to work things out with my ex wife and ex's. thanks for the advice. I def won’t send a memory text. I’ll try my hardest not to text her and wait for her to come to me like she said. If it comes to like 2 months I could be tempted. The first day I text her she did say I text and text her to get a response where as she might have needed a month or 2 to reply. So she might take some time which is cool. I guess it was a lot for her to process as it all came out of the blue and it was probably the last thing she was expecting Edited September 4, 2021 by Moo138 . 1
elaine567 Posted September 4, 2021 Posted September 4, 2021 You are young free and single, do not waste time chasing after maybes. She is at best luke-warm about you, she may even still be harbouring a whole load of resentment. There is now baggage associated and whilst you may get back together she may still never really trust you or decide she wants to make you pay for hurting her. It has now been a month, far too long IMO. Time to get her out of your life for good and never look back. There was a reason you wanted her gone. Your gut told you to split up. Keep listening to your gut it is rarely wrong. 2
Author Moo138 Posted September 5, 2021 Author Posted September 5, 2021 Ok update. She text me earlier saying ‘hey if you still wanted to talk face to face in ready’ 1
Wiseman2 Posted September 5, 2021 Posted September 5, 2021 5 minutes ago, Moo138 said: Ok update. She text me earlier saying ‘hey if you still wanted to talk face to face in ready’ Ok set up a mutually agreeable neutral time, day, place for that. Listen more than talk and see how it goes. 1 1
d0nnivain Posted September 6, 2021 Posted September 6, 2021 Let us know how it goes. In addition to listening to her, now is not the time to play coy. Spell out what you want if you want to get back together. Be clear. 1
poppyfields Posted September 6, 2021 Posted September 6, 2021 (edited) On 9/5/2021 at 11:00 AM, Moo138 said: Ok update. She text me earlier saying ‘hey if you still wanted to talk face to face in ready’ I'm curious how you're feeling now that she is open to talking and possibly getting back together? Are you beginning to feel "scared" again? The same scared feelings that caused you to run away from a supposedly great relationship with a woman you claim to love, who is "perfect" for you? I hope you will update. Edited September 6, 2021 by poppyfields
Author Moo138 Posted September 7, 2021 Author Posted September 7, 2021 No I don’t feel scared. I do feel excited to see her but also nervous of the outcome. I’m actually meeting her tonight for a drink and some food. 3
Maldives Posted September 7, 2021 Posted September 7, 2021 6 hours ago, Moo138 said: No I don’t feel scared. I do feel excited to see her but also nervous of the outcome. I’m actually meeting her tonight for a drink and some food. Awesome news
poppyfields Posted September 14, 2021 Posted September 14, 2021 (edited) 54 minutes ago, Alpaca said: How did the weekend go OP? Yeah, what happened during your talk I believe was a week ago on the 6th? Are you guys back together? Edited September 14, 2021 by poppyfields
Author Moo138 Posted September 14, 2021 Author Posted September 14, 2021 Hey, so we had a good talk for 3.5 hours. Couple of drinks etc. She was mad as expected and had lost any feelings and had basically moved on. But she did say she’s willing to let me prove my words are not just words and see if her feelings come back, she said she wants them too she just doesn’t know if they will and she’s wishes I came to her sooner.. Since then we are getting on well, we had a night out on sat. Shared a hotel but separate beds, nothing happened but we did cuddle before bed and in the morning. We are going to the cinema Thursday and next week she’s house sitting and said I could go down and see her one night and we’ll go for dinner. So it’s good but also bad she’s lost all feelings. We’re texting too, I was going to just text her like every other day so not to much but she’s texted me first a few times which is positive.
elaine567 Posted September 14, 2021 Posted September 14, 2021 My guess she has friend-zoned you. She likes the company and the attention but IME when feelings go they don't tend to come back. She can play this game for a long time as she is not invested. Her feelings for you are gone. She has told you the score, so it is not her fault if nothing comes of it and she gets with some other guy as soon as he shows up.. You, I guess are going to get hurt real bad here.
Author Moo138 Posted September 14, 2021 Author Posted September 14, 2021 (edited) It’s weird because other people I’ve spoke to think she does a bit, especially as she keen to meet and been making plans going forward, they think if she had no feelings she wouldn’t be trying. I don’t think she’s doing it for company to he honest as she’s been busy with mates every weekend and has a very active social life, so she always has something to do if she wants. She’s even been texting me first now which seems like she’s more interested perhaps. She’s also letting me stay the night when I see her next week. but she’s willing to try I guess which is all I can ask. They may or may not come back. But we won’t know until we try and see what happens. Just have to go with the flow Edited September 14, 2021 by Moo138 .
d0nnivain Posted September 14, 2021 Posted September 14, 2021 If you are happy enough in this limbo thing, carry on. It sounds like a waste of time to me but you know her, I don't.
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