itwontdawnsooner Posted October 19, 2005 Posted October 19, 2005 a bit long: yes, ive gotten myself in some trouble... ive been seeing this girl now for about half a year - i love her, but recently i have been moody. lots of things are going on in both of our lives, her mother is ill... im just... my moody self. now, we've had fights before - arguments - but they usually get resolved the day of or at least by early the next day. well, the other day i was supposed to help with a work project she has - work is stressful for her to begin with... but when i went to meet up with her, for a reason im still not too sure about, i became distant and rude, being short and stuff. i didnt mean to. so i drove her home after about 5 minutes and that was that. she had a meeting at night for a few hours so i left it alone. needless to say, she ignored an apology text later - and a few attempts for me to call her hours later (texted in the afternoon, called late evening). no MSN responses either online... so i see her finally for a bit today as she's on her way to work (normally i dont) and she is very upset with me - obvious to see. she says i hurt her very very badly and just wanted me to stop (i was asking why cant you talk to me) and go. i really wanted an answer or some kind of resolve, but i got none... too upset. "i have to go to work" etc. i was pushy at first for an answer, but i caught myself and took the hint after about half a minute of just go. not easy. at this point i feel like ive said im sorry and tried numerous times to contact... i got sort of pushy last time bc she wasn't giving me any answers so i had to stop myself... now i think, what do i do? back off and wait? is that best for the "bigger" fights? any experiences with the "bigger" fights (for me this is, never had one last more than a day or so)... just some BG info this isn't my first relationship nor is it hers. in other relationships ive always swallowed my pride, but the one before this i went for a more direct-talk- (but unfortuantely agressive) approach, which i dont think works either. now im trying to tone that down and back off. i speak my mind... but i can be harsh. we love each other and have had our ups and downs... right now i feel like its a waiting game but is that right? at this point i cant say anything else...but of course i want to just get it resolved asap. this stuff runs through your head, especially mine, i over think stuff constantly. just scared and wondered if anyone else could share similar situations or ideas or insight.
Art_Critic Posted October 19, 2005 Posted October 19, 2005 Too many arguments can kill the love .. Maybe you 2 aren't meant to be together if you fight alot.
Author itwontdawnsooner Posted October 19, 2005 Author Posted October 19, 2005 thanks for the response Art_Critic... i wouldn't say we fight a lot. we're both moody at times, but i see what youre saying. i want to be with her i'm not sure what to do with this situation i guess. ahh.
Pogi Posted October 19, 2005 Posted October 19, 2005 Send her 12 Red Roses. Card: I love you always. Then wait for her to call you. If she doesn't...you can either repeat one week later or find another girlfriend.
laRubiaBonita Posted October 19, 2005 Posted October 19, 2005 well, it seems to me...if you cared sooo much about hurting her and feeling bad about it...why do you do it? you even admit you are moody, and say rude things that you do not mean. well after a while, it starts to sound like you mean the things you say, after all you continue to say mean things. maybe she is tired of you treating her like nothing special....i would get sick of it.
Author itwontdawnsooner Posted October 19, 2005 Author Posted October 19, 2005 i guess ive given a bad impression here. im not rude and mean to her all the time, in fact, the norm is for me to be very kind and considerate. we have many good times together and i make her feel special. im not just saying that. this is really a first. i love her and am a very nice, sensitive man. i'd do anything for her, but im only human and this was a moment for me. i know i sound defensive now but im serious, i do make her feel special. its just right now - in this situation, i was tired and therefore became moody with her. its not the norm at all, which is why i dont know what to do.
laRubiaBonita Posted October 19, 2005 Posted October 19, 2005 i do not think you treat the girl like scum all the time. but do you give her the care and attention that she gives to you when you are having difficulties?
Author itwontdawnsooner Posted October 19, 2005 Author Posted October 19, 2005 i appreciate your responses, thank you! yes, i absolutely do. ive helped her through very very hard times where she was on the brink of giving up on life. she was so far down (not because of anything i did, because of her situation with her mother) i made her smile when she was so far down that i thought she coulnd't go further. but she smiled, and her smile to me is just beautiful. there have been a lot of times where ive made her feel better or helped her with something that is stressing her out a lot, and shes told me this tons of times. i love making her feel better and i love her.sometimes i get overhwlemed myself we've been through so much. but she has a hard time handling it when i am upset, so i have to keep myself in check, in a sense.
Author itwontdawnsooner Posted October 19, 2005 Author Posted October 19, 2005 whats the best thing to do after something like this?
laRubiaBonita Posted October 19, 2005 Posted October 19, 2005 what would melt me....if my guy wrote those things....but she smiled, and her smile to me is just beautiful. there have been a lot of times where ive made her feel better or helped her with something that is stressing her out a lot, and shes told me this tons of times. i love making her feel better and i love her.sometimes i get overhwlemed myself... in a letter, on a blank card...and gave me flowers. maybe meet her at work, when she has lunch, and take her to lunch, gve her the words you said.
Author itwontdawnsooner Posted October 19, 2005 Author Posted October 19, 2005 laRubiaBonita: I'd love to do that, but would this help even if you were really upset with your guy? Is space best or do I really need to go beyond saying sorry in a text and in person with words? If you were very upset would flowers just make you frustrated - because youre still upset? Sorry if this sounds like a stupid question. Maybe it is, but I'm worried.
laRubiaBonita Posted October 19, 2005 Posted October 19, 2005 the flowers are just for looks.....you can do with out them if you want....but every girl likes to recieve a little "i thought of you and got you this" gift just because she was thought of. the meaningfulness is in your spoken words, your willingness to sacrifice your time to reconcile, your eyes. that is why i say take her to lunch....take ttime from your day, and accomidate her.
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