glows Posted September 4, 2021 Posted September 4, 2021 13 minutes ago, chicken_and_quaffles said: I did try to bring it up with him the next day. I told him, again, that he'd been pretty mean to me the night before. At first he said he didn't remember saying any of those things. He does have a terrible memory, or this could just be gaslighting. Kept saying he'd never say something like that. Then when I said well I didn't like it...he told me I needed to learn to take a joke. Which I did not appreciate. I'm definitely seriously considering ending the relationship now. As if I wasn't already pissed off enough, last night he forgot that we'd made plans earlier in the week and instead went golfing with his buddies. He doesn’t care. The more you care and the more effort you put into this relationship the bigger his ego gets and he does and says anything he wants, even if it’s rude, verbally and emotionally abusive. Get away from people like that.
Gaeta Posted September 4, 2021 Posted September 4, 2021 (edited) He's slowly grooming you to accept verbal abuse. At 9 months dating you abort this. It was not his first time either, it's just the previous times were more subtled, now he's escalating it. Not remembering is a commin excuse among abusive men. I've been there. At the beginning he did not remember being rude and 3 years later he did not remember making those bruises on me. Edited September 4, 2021 by Gaeta 1
petee Posted September 4, 2021 Posted September 4, 2021 Would you recommend that a child of yours kept up with this poor treatment? 1
seapebbles Posted September 5, 2021 Posted September 5, 2021 11 hours ago, chicken_and_quaffles said: Then when I said well I didn't like it...he told me I needed to learn to take a joke This is what verbally abusive people say to minimize their actions and turn it around on you to make it look like you're the one with the problem. If he cared about you he would have apologized for hurting your feelings and tried to understand your point of view. What he said to you wasn't sarcastic joking, it was mean and hurtful. Do not put up with this type of behavior. It will only get worse. I'm glad that you have a therapist to talk to about this. 1
ShyViolet Posted September 5, 2021 Posted September 5, 2021 On 9/4/2021 at 9:27 AM, chicken_and_quaffles said: I did try to bring it up with him the next day. I told him, again, that he'd been pretty mean to me the night before. At first he said he didn't remember saying any of those things. He does have a terrible memory, or this could just be gaslighting. Kept saying he'd never say something like that. Then when I said well I didn't like it...he told me I needed to learn to take a joke. Which I did not appreciate. I'm definitely seriously considering ending the relationship now. As if I wasn't already pissed off enough, last night he forgot that we'd made plans earlier in the week and instead went golfing with his buddies. If you have any self-respect you'll break up with him TODAY. 1
Calmandfocused Posted September 5, 2021 Posted September 5, 2021 (edited) Jokes are funny. Designed to make people laugh. Emotionally harming someone is not a joke. It is not funny. Jokes are not an excuse for hurting your partner. Partner doesn’t need to learn how to “take a joke” - it’s not a joke. It’s abuse. The “joker” is the one that needs to learn. Partner needs to dump the “joker” and find someone who would never intentionally want to hurt her, emotionally or otherwise. Dump this turkey. Edited September 5, 2021 by Calmandfocused 3
deepthinking Posted September 5, 2021 Posted September 5, 2021 I think he knew exactly how un-funny he was being.
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