lizzybp Posted August 31, 2021 Posted August 31, 2021 (edited) Heyy So I’m dating this guy for a little bit now. We met at this class we were taking. He’s a sweet guy, inexperienced. I’m his third girlfriend but he’s a virgin. We haven’t had sex yet but we have discussed it, including what condoms to use. Tried on some occasions when we were alone at my place but the timing wasn’t right and it never entirely happened. We’ve pretty much done everything except actual sex. Two days ago we went to the Amusement park. He had a pack of condoms in his jacket and seemed flustered when they fell out. I was a bit surprised, he said he had grabbed them on his way out of the house, and mumbled “you never know.” I was miffed that he thought we were going to get it on in a busy amusement park? We didn’t even take a car there. What did he think was going to happen? I don’t know why but my brain jumped to cheating…although he’s given no indication he’ll ever cheat but then why the condoms? Were they actually intended to be used for me at our amusement park date? Or had they been in his pocket for another reason? Maybe he was seeing someone else and forgot to take the condoms out of his jacket before hanging out with me. I live with my grandma and he lives with his aunts so it’s not like we could have gone to each other’s places after. Is this suspicious or am I overthinking? Edited August 31, 2021 by lizzybp
Wiseman2 Posted August 31, 2021 Posted August 31, 2021 7 minutes ago, lizzybp said: I’m dating this guy for a little bit now. . I’m his third girlfriend but he’s a virgin. We haven’t had sex yet but we have discussed it, including what condoms to use. Tried on some occasions when we were alone at my place but the timing wasn’t right and it never entirely happened. I don’t know why but my brain jumped to cheating…although he’s given no indication he’ll ever cheat but then why the condoms? How long have you been dating? Are you exclusive? You told him to buy condoms, no? Why not wait until you are dating longer, become exclusive and have the privacy and trust you need to have sex? Yes, it's odd to jump to the conclusion that he's cheating. Or that he's presumptuous about where and when to have sex. You told him to get condoms. Now he has them and you're angry and jealous? Relax. Get to know each other and enjoy the process of dating and getting to know each other. Be patient.
Author lizzybp Posted August 31, 2021 Author Posted August 31, 2021 (edited) 6 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: How long have you been dating? Are you exclusive? You told him to buy condoms, no? Why not wait until you are dating longer, become exclusive and have the privacy and trust you need to have sex? Yes, it's odd to jump to the conclusion that he's cheating. Or that he's presumptuous about where and when to have sex. You told him to get condoms. Now he has them and you're angry and jealous? Relax. Get to know each other and enjoy the process of dating and getting to know each other. Be patient. We have been dating exactly 5 weeks. He asked me to be his girlfriend on our fourth or fifth date. Thus we are exclusive and have been for a bit over a month. We have tried putting condoms on about 2 weeks ago at my place and they are the same condoms this time. I guess Im just paranoid because what if the condoms in his pocket were not actually meant for me?? I mean we have done a few risque things in empty parks/lots before but an amusement park is a bizarre place to expect to have sex. Although he did offhandedly joke about going to one of the employee changerooms to do it…but we both decided that was a silly and horrible idea. Edited August 31, 2021 by lizzybp
JRabbit Posted August 31, 2021 Posted August 31, 2021 A lot of guys carry them everywhere..."just in case". Living in a fantasy. I would let it slide but keep an eye on things...maybe investigae further on your own time. Ask to use his phone to search for something and see his reaction.
d0nnivain Posted August 31, 2021 Posted August 31, 2021 (edited) You are over thinking. Men carry condoms the way women stash an emergency pad or tampon in our purses . . . just in case. He didn't think you were going to get busy at the amusement park but for him part of dating you means being prepared. That's all. Edited August 31, 2021 by d0nnivain 4
Author lizzybp Posted August 31, 2021 Author Posted August 31, 2021 Thanks guys. I guess until I have more proof he’s probably not cheating. He also was scrolling through his phone with me while we were searching for something and wasn’t nervous or being secretive at all. 1
smackie9 Posted September 1, 2021 Posted September 1, 2021 He's signalling to you he's ready....make a night of it. 1
petee Posted September 1, 2021 Posted September 1, 2021 I don't actually think you are old enough to be dating if this is a major problem? I think he's prepared now, and who knows what could happen when you leave the park!! I would have thought a wallet would have been a better place, hence I'm wondering about both your ages. 2
Author lizzybp Posted September 1, 2021 Author Posted September 1, 2021 1 hour ago, petee said: I don't actually think you are old enough to be dating if this is a major problem? I think he's prepared now, and who knows what could happen when you leave the park!! I would have thought a wallet would have been a better place, hence I'm wondering about both your ages. The amusement park was in the middle of a big city so not many places to do it. Haha I guess I just felt…pressured? And I tend to think the worst of everything. I’m a bit paranoid.
d0nnivain Posted September 1, 2021 Posted September 1, 2021 Pressure I can understand @lizzybp The paranoia -- thinking he has condoms he must be cheating -- rather than he's really (maybe overly) keen to have sex with me -- I don't fully follow. 2
Miss Spider Posted September 1, 2021 Posted September 1, 2021 The guy has been a virgin for that long and he’s ready to go. Take it from me; I was a virgin til like 25 and when you’re a late virgin you have all the time to think about it and not do it, so it makes you a freak. He’s a freeeeeeaaaaak
Mrin Posted September 2, 2021 Posted September 2, 2021 I've said this before here on LS but I'll repeat it again, when I am actively dating I am never more than 6 ft away from a condom. Lol. It's just smart. 1
Maldives Posted September 3, 2021 Posted September 3, 2021 He's being responsible lol that's all Ur over thinking it way overthinking it
Crazelnut Posted September 3, 2021 Posted September 3, 2021 I really wonder if you're in the right headapace for a relationship. You instantly jumped to worst conclusions -- twice -- because the man got condoms when you asked him too. Your paranoia is going to ruin this if you don't get it under control. 1
glows Posted September 3, 2021 Posted September 3, 2021 It’s fine. Please don’t overthink this. I don’t think he’s cheating on you. I used to carry condoms too. There were a couple always at the bottom of my bag. I’m a woman. It sounds like you both have a good start. Be patient with him and enjoy your time together.
WWYD Posted September 4, 2021 Posted September 4, 2021 My ex had a bit of a liking for outdoor action, and was a bit annoyed at one point that I wasn't carrying a condom with me. So I decided to carry one for any future opportunities. A couple of months later, she was getting extremely jealous (which eventually led to her becoming my ex!) for no good reason - and noticed that one was missing from the packet. This was apparently a sign I was up to no good. I pointed out that the 'missing' condom was in my wallet, on account of not being prepared on that one occasion - and she went nuts! Go figure...
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