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Dating someone with loose morals

Myasylum

By Myasylum
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Myasylum Established Member

Myasylum

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I am currently dating someone who... seems to have questionable morals. This is difficult for me because with that comes a lot of fun. I really do like her,  she's great to be around, sex of course is great,  but she's been with men and women,  yet she's decided that she loves me enough to be committed to me. I just find it kind of worrisome. I've scene her flirt with woman before so I know she's not making it up.  

    Part of me enjoys the fun and excitement that she brings,  another part of me says... this ain't right,  lol. 

Anybody been in a situation similar? I get the feeling she hasn't really had the kind of stability that I bring,  and I think she sees me as something in her life finally safe and secure... yet I worry, it's this someone I can trust?

Edited by Myasylum
basil67 Established Member

basil67

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Posted

This reads like you're equating bi-sexuality with loose morals, but I'm sure you're not doing that.  Perhaps there is information which you've neglected to tell us?  

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Myasylum Established Member

Myasylum

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There is, but this is a good start.

basil67 Established Member

basil67

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You've said nothing which suggests that she has loose morals.   There simply enough enough information to answer your question.

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chillii Established Member

chillii

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Although l know what he's leaving out and yeah , sorry op but l don't think you'd wanna take her or this too seriously.

ExpatInItaly Established Member

ExpatInItaly

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So what are you leaving out that would suggest she has loose morals, OP?

Because being bisexual isn't it. 

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Pumpernickel Established Member

Pumpernickel

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5 hours ago, basil67 said:

You've said nothing which suggests that she has loose morals. 

Agreed. Not seeing it, either. She’s had sexual relations with both genders. Big deal. 

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Blind-Sided Established Member

Blind-Sided

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If you don't think you can trust her... move on.  Easy. 

But as said above... just because a girl likes both sexes, doesn't make her have poor morals.  I've known several girls who... if they see a very pretty girl... they are interested. But these girls I knew... if they were in a committed relationship... then they were committed, and not looking around. 

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Wiseman2 Established Member

Wiseman2

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11 hours ago, Myasylum said:

I am currently dating someone who... seems to have questionable morals. she's been with men and women. I've scene her flirt with woman before so I know she's not making it up.  

How long have you been dating?

Unfortunately it seems like you are collecting info and putting her in the "good for sex and fun" pile and ruling her out of the "GF material" plie

 Frankly you're using her and that in itself is "questionable morals".

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glows Established Member

glows

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12 hours ago, Myasylum said:

I am currently dating someone who... seems to have questionable morals. This is difficult for me because with that comes a lot of fun. I really do like her,  she's great to be around, sex of course is great,  but she's been with men and women,  yet she's decided that she loves me enough to be committed to me. I just find it kind of worrisome. I've scene her flirt with woman before so I know she's not making it up.  

    Part of me enjoys the fun and excitement that she brings,  another part of me says... this ain't right,  lol. 

Anybody been in a situation similar? I get the feeling she hasn't really had the kind of stability that I bring,  and I think she sees me as something in her life finally safe and secure... yet I worry, it's this someone I can trust?

Do you have other examples? At the moment your concerns are valid but you might also want to explore your insecurities around sexuality or sexual preferences. You are entitled to not want to date someone who is bisexual or pansexual for that matter. Those questions or insecurities cause you to appear less stable and less trustworthy than you perceive yourself to be so if this persists and you cannot accept her, let each other go. 

 

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JRabbit Established Member

JRabbit

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Being bisexual has nothing to do with ones morals so I really really hope that wasn't where you were heading with this. 

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mark clemson Established Member

mark clemson

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[]

If you represent "stability" are you older than she is or something? Fewer romantic partners? Just more "chill"?  Just wondering.

Overall, if you're not sure you can trust someone romantically then you have the option to (a) end it, or (b) proceed cautiously and with this factor in mind. Not having feelings for a romantic partner is easier said than done, but taking the (b) approach would presumably include the need to be guarded with your feelings as well.

That's what I see as your two main options. GL. 🙂

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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Ami1uwant Established Member

Ami1uwant

Posted
Posted
13 hours ago, Myasylum said:

I am currently dating someone who... seems to have questionable morals. This is difficult for me because with that comes a lot of fun. I really do like her,  she's great to be around, sex of course is great,  but she's been with men and women,  yet she's decided that she loves me enough to be committed to me. I just find it kind of worrisome. I've scene her flirt with woman before so I know she's not making it up.  

    Part of me enjoys the fun and excitement that she brings,  another part of me says... this ain't right,  lol. 

Anybody been in a situation similar? I get the feeling she hasn't really had the kind of stability that I bring,  and I think she sees me as something in her life finally safe and secure... yet I worry, it's this someone I can trust?


her being bisexual is NOT a loose morals issue 

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Miss Spider Established Member

Miss Spider

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Enjoy the fun and excitement. Who told you that you have to take her home to mom

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Wiseman2 Established Member

Wiseman2

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14 hours ago, Myasylum said:

Part of me enjoys the fun and excitement that she brings,  another part of me says... this ain't right,

Ok they used to refer to this as a MadonnaWhore complex. Meaning she lots of fun so just use her and dump her?

This is not an LGBT thing. Or a threesome thing. This is you building a case for yourself taking advantage and using her for sex and implying she's trashy/promiscuous to justify it.

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Miss Spider Established Member

Miss Spider

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Opie already said there is more to it why he formulated his conclusion, but he’s disinclined to give those details. 
 

there’s nothing morally wrong with just dating someone for fun. And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise

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skins33 Member

skins33

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I think there are some ideological based arguments being put forward. But ultimately it is YOU who will have to live with the practicalities of it.

My first concern would be my sexual health and not getting her pregnant tbh. Beyond that, have some fun and take the relationship less seriously - or break things off politely if you have different values.

skins33 Member

skins33

Posted
Posted (edited)
14 hours ago, Myasylum said:

I am currently dating someone who... seems to have questionable morals. This is difficult for me because with that comes a lot of fun. I really do like her,  she's great to be around, sex of course is great,  but she's been with men and women,  yet she's decided that she loves me enough to be committed to me. I just find it kind of worrisome. I've scene her flirt with woman before so I know she's not making it up.  

    Part of me enjoys the fun and excitement that she brings,  another part of me says... this ain't right,  lol. 

Anybody been in a situation similar? I get the feeling she hasn't really had the kind of stability that I bring,  and I think she sees me as something in her life finally safe and secure... yet I worry, it's this someone I can trust?

To answer that, my second girlfriend was a somewhat similar situation.

She was interested in me, and I wasn't in her tbh (she wasn't my type, and I was on the rebound from my first ever girlfriend who I liked a great deal).  I think that might be somewhat the same for you, because you appear to be considering things logically/not all loved up. She chased me for a while (I think mostly just because I wasn't interested), and then I literally knocked on her door when I was on the rebound.

She was kissing a girl in a pub within a few weeks. I was annoyed because her behaviour then reflected on to me. That's what happens when you are linked with someone, and I'd keep that in mind. Whatever behaviour they do gets put onto you for some reason.

I wasn't of the mindset to take advantage of that either (I was on the rebound like a soppy sod).

Seriously, look after your sexual health and consider possible pregnancies (I got this girl pregnant). Beyond that, have some fun and take the relationship less seriously - or break things off politely if you have different values. If it's a sort of social circle, then break things off politely so that she doesn't get the hump and start attacking you. Angry women will kick your backside in that sense when they want blood, and you say the girl wants to commit to you... potential trouble ahead for you that is.

Edited by skins33
Alpacalia Established Member

Alpacalia

Posted
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Maybe it's that she has attraction to more types of people or maybe that she will leave you for a woman that is the underlying concern?

Hard to say since you've mentioned you've left some pertinent details out.

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GeorgiaPeach1 Established Member

GeorgiaPeach1

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HER loose morals, yet you're sleeping with her and not telling her you have doubts?

 

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Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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Posted
18 hours ago, Myasylum said:

  yet she's decided that she loves me enough to be committed to me. 

That's all you need to know. 

Being bi-sexual is not having loose morals. Cheating on your income tax is. 

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FMW Established Member

FMW

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Posted

If bisexuality is against your morality, stop seeing her.  Leave her free to be with someone who accepts her and find someone who matches up with your values.

If you distrust her for whatever reason you don't wish to share, stop seeing her.  Stop stringing her along.

 

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stillafool Established Member

stillafool

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Posted
18 hours ago, Myasylum said:

I get the feeling she hasn't really had the kind of stability that I bring,  and I think she sees me as something in her life finally safe and secure... yet I worry, it's this someone I can trust?

This has nothing to do with her being bisexual.  She just enjoys sex with both men and women. She's not going to change.

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basil67 Established Member

basil67

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Posted
10 hours ago, Cookiesandough said:

there’s nothing morally wrong with just dating someone for fun. And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise

With the caveat that both know where they stand with the other.  Or they don't care.   But if one is operating on the belief that relationship has a future and the other is "just having fun", and using the other for fun, then it's morally wrong.  

 

basil67 Established Member

basil67

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10 hours ago, skins33 said:

My first concern would be my sexual health and not getting her pregnant tbh.

I assume you'd say the same if the girlfriend was straight?

While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
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