Author GoodVibess Posted August 31, 2021 Author Posted August 31, 2021 24 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said: They’re just telling you to take a little accountability in the situation and stop wasting your time.He is just living his life and enjoying it, while getting marginally annoyed by some women he’s casually dating that can’t take the hint that it’s casual. He isn’t the one coming here with a problem. It’s on you if you keep participating in this he said he’s looking for serious?
Author GoodVibess Posted August 31, 2021 Author Posted August 31, 2021 (edited) 11 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: Helpful to what extent? What is it you want us to tell you? How to make him more interested in you and make him do what you want? He doesn't want to text you more than he does. He isn't your boyfriend. You have totally different expectations than he does, which is how you know this is not a match. He's not wrong. You're not wrong. But you're probably wrong for each other. If you're not fine with how often he texts you, quit badgering him and having "talks" and go out and find a guy who shares your views. You're too intense for a guy you hardly know, @GoodVibess i guess if he cancels this weekend then i’ll be done, because he just said he doesn’t even know if we can meet up. said something may come up. he’s also saying how he needs to save money and going out to eat is getting way too expensive. Edited August 31, 2021 by GoodVibess
ExpatInItaly Posted August 31, 2021 Posted August 31, 2021 4 minutes ago, GoodVibess said: i guess if he cancels this weekend then i’ll be done, because he just said he doesn’t even know if we can meet up. said something may come up. he’s also saying how he needs to save money and going out to eat is getting way too expensive. I think you need to be done, yes. He's trying to let you down gently and he's fading out. Take this as a lesson moving forward: don't try to push someone into meeting your expectations when you barely know them. Observe what someone does without your nudging. If you don't like it, read between the lines and see yourself out. These kind of "talks" are way too much for a few weeks of dating.
JRabbit Posted August 31, 2021 Posted August 31, 2021 8 minutes ago, GoodVibess said: he needs to save money and going out to eat is getting way too expensive. Have you done any dates that haven't cost money? Have you paid for any?
Author GoodVibess Posted August 31, 2021 Author Posted August 31, 2021 1 minute ago, JRabbit said: Have you done any dates that haven't cost money? Have you paid for any? he said he’s fine with paying for me and no we have not. he said he would like to hang out more often but he thinks i am expecting him to spend money each time.
GeorgiaPeach1 Posted August 31, 2021 Posted August 31, 2021 15 hours ago, GoodVibess said: I have been seeing a guy since last month we’ve had our ups and downs but we continued to make it work. We met off a dating app, I told him I want consistent communication because he disappears a lot, we met up last night as I initiated the meet up. We talked about him being more consistent and he said he would and he also said we would meet up this weekend. I texted him when I got home and he said he had a good time with me as well. I think the date went pretty well more towards the end…he kissed me and said he will see me this weekend. Anyways, this morning he texted me “good morning beautiful” I replied with a good morning back to him. But this time he said nothing back usually he would say like “wyd” I sent it at 10am. It’s now nearly 10pm…. I texted an hour ago asking “are u ok?” he didn’t reply and his snap score is going up. So clearly he’s on his phone, I don’t get why he wouldn’t reply back if we both had a pretty good time last night. What should I do? I don’t even know if he was serious about meeting up this weekend as he is my plans. Is this man your official boyfriend? If not, he doesn't owe you any consistency.
d0nnivain Posted August 31, 2021 Posted August 31, 2021 It's not a fault based thing. It's a compatibility thing & you two are not on the same page. You said other men always talked to you everyday throughout the day. You got used to that & for you that is normal. To me that would be smothering & send me running for the hills. There are people out there who feel like me. Doesn't mean we're not serious. It just means that we have lives & we prefer to build to daily communication over the course of months. I also don't need or want texts from my husband or anybody else during the day. I would be annoyed if DH regularly blew up my phone. In the 13 years we have been married, 15 together, I blew up his phone once because my dad was rushed to the ER with a bleeding brain. Dad died from that injury 5 days later. So in life & death while DH was several states away I chased him but not for trivial stuff like good morning. Even when he travels for work, we do send the good morning texts but if the other doesn't respond for a while, although disappointing it's not an indictment of our marriage. What I'm suggesting is that in the future with your next relationship after this one you learn a bit more patience. You & this guy are done. When he told you where to find the door he was telling you that he's done & that he will not step up his communication. That will leave you frustrated & you will chase harder which will make him run further. Eventually he'll get fed up. Save yourself the trouble. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted August 31, 2021 Posted August 31, 2021 43 minutes ago, GoodVibess said: he said he’s looking for serious? Probably in general, yes. But getting serious with with you, he seems to have changed his mind. Time to walk away with your head high and lessons under your belt. 2
stillafool Posted August 31, 2021 Posted August 31, 2021 45 minutes ago, GoodVibess said: he said he’s looking for serious? Yes but is he talking about with you? 15 hours ago, GoodVibess said: I have been seeing a guy since last month we’ve had our ups and downs but we continued to make it work. We met off a dating app, I told him I want consistent communication because he disappears a lot, we met up last night as I initiated the meet up. We talked about him being more consistent and he said he would and he also said we would meet up this weekend. I texted him when I got home and he said he had a good time with me as well. I think the date went pretty well more towards the end…he kissed me and said he will see me this weekend. Anyways, this morning he texted me “good morning beautiful” I replied with a good morning back to him. But this time he said nothing back usually he would say like “wyd” I sent it at 10am. It’s now nearly 10pm…. I texted an hour ago asking “are u ok?” he didn’t reply and his snap score is going up. So clearly he’s on his phone, I don’t get why he wouldn’t reply back if we both had a pretty good time last night. What should I do? I don’t even know if he was serious about meeting up this weekend as he is my plans. It sounds like you're the one doing all the work to keep this thing going. He still has his ex on his phone, is ignoring you and now setting you up to cancel seeing you this weekend is pretty telling of how he feels about you. Even if he couldn't afford to take you out to eat he could still spend time with you and do something else if he were interested. I think you'd better prepare yourself. 3
Miss Spider Posted August 31, 2021 Posted August 31, 2021 1 hour ago, GoodVibess said: he said he’s looking for serious? Doesn’t mean w you…
Author GoodVibess Posted August 31, 2021 Author Posted August 31, 2021 53 minutes ago, stillafool said: Yes but is he talking about with you? It sounds like you're the one doing all the work to keep this thing going. He still has his ex on his phone, is ignoring you and now setting you up to cancel seeing you this weekend is pretty telling of how he feels about you. Even if he couldn't afford to take you out to eat he could still spend time with you and do something else if he were interested. I think you'd better prepare yourself. that’s true….he told me i can find someone else if i want to or i can go by his schedule. he said he likes me but isn’t crazy about me. 1
Miss Spider Posted August 31, 2021 Posted August 31, 2021 (edited) 3 minutes ago, GoodVibess said: that’s true….he told me i can find someone else if i want to or i can go by his schedule. he said he likes me but isn’t crazy about me. Jeez, I mean I guess he’s honest when a lot of ppl aren’t ,., but jeez … Edited August 31, 2021 by Cookiesandough 1
Wiseman2 Posted August 31, 2021 Posted August 31, 2021 1 minute ago, GoodVibess said: he told me i can find someone else if i want to. he said he likes me but isn’t crazy about me. It's time to stop wasting time on him. 1
d0nnivain Posted August 31, 2021 Posted August 31, 2021 It's past time to just be done. You are nothing more than a placeholder in this guy's life. . .someone he's settling for right this minute. Have some self respect & go find a guy who is crazy about you. 1
Author GoodVibess Posted August 31, 2021 Author Posted August 31, 2021 6 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said: Jeez, I mean I guess he’s honest when a lot of ppl aren’t ,., but jeez … he says i am spending his money and his ex never did. my ex is rich and he never cared
Wiseman2 Posted August 31, 2021 Posted August 31, 2021 1 hour ago, GoodVibess said: i guess if he cancels this weekend then i’ll be done, because he just said he doesn’t even know if we can meet up. said something may come up. he’s also saying how he needs to save money and going out to eat is getting way too expensive. Ok after you took your "therapists" advice and told him he needs to be available to text 24/7, he decided to tiptoe out of this. 1
poppyfields Posted August 31, 2021 Posted August 31, 2021 2 hours ago, GoodVibess said: i guess if he cancels this weekend then i’ll be done, because he just said he doesn’t even know if we can meet up. said something may come up. he’s also saying how he needs to save money and going out to eat is getting way too expensive. Me thinks you should be done before giving him the chance to flake. I don't mean to be harsh but girl, what happened to your self-respect? It appears you have lost it somewhere along the way. I mean, seriously, this guy is a joke! He is totally playing you, how can you not see that? He is not even giving you breadcrumbs, he is flat out telling you he cannot be bothered with you. How is this in any way appealing? Do you enjoy being treated so shabbily? What's keeping you there? Serious question. 1
Miss Spider Posted August 31, 2021 Posted August 31, 2021 (edited) 55 minutes ago, GoodVibess said: he says i am spending his money and his ex never did. my ex is rich and he never cared He’s actually telling you what’s up so I don’t even understand your question. He saying you can take what is offering or you can bounce. That is a lot more than anyone else is going to do for you to be honest I would never be this honest with a guy if I was stringing him along. Even if I wasn’t crazy about him and ignoring his texts, I’d deny when confronted, … but some people are just blunt … there’s something to be appreciated with that because now you have more definitive understanding of where they stand vs what you’re looking for you’re trying to change someone that has no interest in changing for you and that won’t work Edited August 31, 2021 by Cookiesandough
Author GoodVibess Posted August 31, 2021 Author Posted August 31, 2021 16 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said: He’s actually telling you what’s up so I don’t even understand your question. He saying you can take what is offering or you can bounce. That is a lot more than anyone else is going to do for you to be honest I would never be this honest with a guy if I was stringing him along. Even if I wasn’t crazy about him and ignoring his texts, I’d deny when confronted, … but some people are just blunt … there’s something to be appreciated with that because now you have more definitive understanding of where they stand vs what you’re looking for you’re trying to change someone that has no interest in changing for you and that won’t work he told me i am a gold digger because i wanted him to take me to the capital of the US i wanted to have a nice dinner at Georgetown with a nice view…..we live about 1 hour from there he said it was too far for him and i am trying to spend all his money he bought a 2021 GT he has $ he’s lying to me!
Author GoodVibess Posted August 31, 2021 Author Posted August 31, 2021 27 minutes ago, poppyfields said: Me thinks you should be done before giving him the chance to flake. I don't mean to be harsh but girl, what happened to your self-respect? It appears you have lost it somewhere along the way. I mean, seriously, this guy is a joke! He is totally playing you, how can you not see that? He is not even giving you breadcrumbs, he is flat out telling you he cannot be bothered with you. How is this in any way appealing? Do you enjoy being treated so shabbily? What's keeping you there? Serious question. because he told me that he would like to see me more since he is in the area but not if i’m asking for food. he told me i need to eat before meeting him…problem is he is only in the area for a week he’s leaving sunday back to his apartment. he lives 2 hours away.
ExpatInItaly Posted August 31, 2021 Posted August 31, 2021 5 minutes ago, GoodVibess said: he’s lying to me! Even more reason to drop him. He doesn't want to date you anymore. That is all that matters. Not how many times a day he messages you, not how much money he really has - he is into you the way you are into him.
Author GoodVibess Posted August 31, 2021 Author Posted August 31, 2021 Just now, ExpatInItaly said: Even more reason to drop him. He doesn't want to date you anymore. That is all that matters. Not how many times a day he messages you, not how much money he really has - he is into you the way you are into him. he texted me saying he likes me and wants to see me a lot but not if i’m asking for food.
Alpacalia Posted August 31, 2021 Posted August 31, 2021 Just now, GoodVibess said: he texted me saying he likes me and wants to see me a lot but not if i’m asking for food. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted August 31, 2021 Posted August 31, 2021 1 minute ago, GoodVibess said: he texted me saying he likes me and wants to see me a lot but not if i’m asking for food. What the heck is this about? This thread keeps getting stranger and stranger. 2
Author GoodVibess Posted August 31, 2021 Author Posted August 31, 2021 7 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: What the heck is this about? This thread keeps getting stranger and stranger. i’m telling y’all what he’s telling me, he says he doesn’t ask me to meet him because all i want is to spend his money.
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