Author Gaeta Posted August 30, 2021 Author Posted August 30, 2021 11 minutes ago, introverted1 said: Oh, bummer, Gaeta. I hope you are ok Yes thank you, I gave myself 5 minutes to cry in the car on my way back home. My dating profile is already back up. I'm not gonna give this more time than it deserves. 3
chillii Posted August 30, 2021 Posted August 30, 2021 Damn , sorry G. Time is our friend in these things and brings out what we need to know sooner or later. 1
hajk Posted August 30, 2021 Posted August 30, 2021 2 hours ago, Gaeta said: Unfortunately I think I was charmed and played. ....At some point he was talking about his income tax debt and that he didn't want to pay interest so he borrowed money from his siblings and he now owes his siblings. Then he said 'maybe you can help me too'. I said if we had been together for a year or more I would but I could not do that after only knowing him for 6 weeks. He then said he was joking and that was not a real request. From there the 'connection' was broken. Yesterday he did not initiate contact as he usually does and today I got that broke up text. @Gaeta I'm sorry that you broke up. He sounds like a scammer and really reeled you in. Once you refused to give him money, his true character appeared. I think you did well and dodged a bullet. Good ridden. Onward and upward. 8
FudgeSwirl Posted August 30, 2021 Posted August 30, 2021 I'm sorry to hear what happened, @Gaeta. After reading about what happened and what he said, it does sound like you dodged a bullet but the shift happening over something so small like you not taking his supposed joke seriously. He perhaps wasn't even joking and was seeing if he could get money out of you or perhaps he realized in that moment of talking about money that the façade he was putting up by sweeping his other issues under the rug could no longer run. You definitely deserve much better and that's amazing that you are able to get back up on the horse by re-establishing your online dating profile. 3
Miss Spider Posted August 31, 2021 Posted August 31, 2021 (edited) 1 hour ago, hajk said: @Gaeta I'm sorry that you broke up. He sounds like a scammer and really reeled you in. Once you refused to give him money, his true character appeared. I think you did well and dodged a bullet. Good ridden. Onward and upward. Wow. I completely agree with what hajk said. What a gross person Edited August 31, 2021 by Cookiesandough
Alvi Posted August 31, 2021 Posted August 31, 2021 3 hours ago, Gaeta said: I was sorry I did not capture his heart, & good luck. Huh? What are you sorry for? The best way for you to capture his heart is, unfortunately, opening up your wallet and giving him your heard-earned money. What kind of person asks someone they are dating for a short while to lend them some money? An unsavory one. He was pulling a nice prince charming act long enough for you to fall completely under his spell. He probably believed that you are that gullible. Now when you refused, he dropped all the pretenses and had no use for you anymore. To be honest, you should've realize that him asking you for cash is a very big RED FLAG. Not just a red flag, more like a screaming siren. You should've ended your date and gotten out of there of there the moment he asked. 6
Author Gaeta Posted August 31, 2021 Author Posted August 31, 2021 8 minutes ago, Alvi said: Huh? What are you sorry for? It was just a way to say l was disappointed it won't be the romance l was hoping for. I know suggesting l help him with money was a red flag. At the moment l did not panic l thought maybe it's a blip and l won't hear about it again but within minutes l felt something was different.
poppyfields Posted August 31, 2021 Posted August 31, 2021 Yeah, perhaps the more appropriate response would have been "I'm sorry you turned out to be such a sociopathic a-hole"! But you have way too much class for that. So let me say it because I have no class when it comes to scammers like him. I'm sorry he turned out to be such a sociopath a-hole! And lying and scamming you the way he did, or attempting to, is most definitely sociopathic behavior. Scary shyt, glad you didn't fall for it! 4
Happy Lemming Posted August 31, 2021 Posted August 31, 2021 3 hours ago, Gaeta said: My dating profile is already back up. After this guy (who was clearly trying to scam you out of money) and all the other "disasters" you met on-line, you are going back to on-line dating?? 4
Pumpernickel Posted August 31, 2021 Posted August 31, 2021 Nooooo, he sounded so promising! Was that the guy who cooked for you?
Alvi Posted August 31, 2021 Posted August 31, 2021 1 hour ago, Gaeta said: It was just a way to say l was disappointed it won't be the romance l was hoping for. 48 minutes ago, poppyfields said: But you have way too much class for that. That's for sure. I would tell him where to go and what to do with it. You are a nice person Gaeta. 1
Author Gaeta Posted August 31, 2021 Author Posted August 31, 2021 9 hours ago, Happy Lemming said: After this guy (who was clearly trying to scam you out of money) and all the other "disasters" you met on-line, you are going back to on-line dating?? Yes, I'm that resiliant. What's the alternative? I don't have single friends to go out with, I live in the suburbs. I'm passed the age of meeting boys in the school yard. 2
Author Gaeta Posted August 31, 2021 Author Posted August 31, 2021 8 hours ago, Pumpernickel said: Nooooo, he sounded so promising! Was that the guy who cooked for you? Ya it's him he did sound promising. 1
Weezy1973 Posted August 31, 2021 Posted August 31, 2021 1 minute ago, Gaeta said: Yes, I'm that resiliant. What's the alternative? I don't have single friends to go out with, I live in the suburbs. I'm passed the age of meeting boys in the school yard. And it’s just the reality of online dating. Lots of false starts. Once one accepts the reality, these incidents are just a short lived “sting” which quickly gets forgotten when the next set of prospects come along… 2
Author Gaeta Posted August 31, 2021 Author Posted August 31, 2021 If you remember in my other thread my gut was telling me Teacher might be a better match but I went for the tall sexy-one that made my knees weak. 1
Weezy1973 Posted August 31, 2021 Posted August 31, 2021 1 minute ago, Gaeta said: If you remember in my other thread my gut was telling me Teacher might be a better match but I went for the tall sexy-one that made my knees weak. And you weren’t wrong to do so. There is no wrong really. Just didn’t work out. Next! 3
Wiseman2 Posted August 31, 2021 Posted August 31, 2021 18 hours ago, Gaeta said: He does have a bunch of issues with custody battle and income tax debts and a couple of other things So many red flag. Sounds like you dodged a bullet. Perhaps focus less on romance, compliments, sweet-talk, etc. and more on these types of red flags. He seems like a magician who wanted you to focus on the waving cape and hocus pocus so you wouldn't pay attention to these red flags. 2
Author Gaeta Posted August 31, 2021 Author Posted August 31, 2021 42 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Perhaps focus less on romance, compliments, sweet-talk, etc. and more on these types of red flags. I've never been one to focus on romance, chemistry & butterflies. It was one of the rare times. I was told several times on here I should wait for that strong attraction.
Author Gaeta Posted August 31, 2021 Author Posted August 31, 2021 SOOOOO, I saw Teacher's profile and sent him a 'hello school must be started for you'....and he asked about me and been replying to my messages. Is that salvageable?? 2
glows Posted August 31, 2021 Posted August 31, 2021 See where it goes with the teacher. You may feel guilty for putting him off or being interested in someone else in the meantime but put that away and move on. You can speak to or meet anyone you please. 1
Weezy1973 Posted August 31, 2021 Posted August 31, 2021 5 minutes ago, Gaeta said: SOOOOO, I saw Teacher's profile and sent him a 'hello school must be started for you'....and he asked about me and been replying to my messages. Is that salvageable?? Of course. Add him to the prospect list again. 1
Pumpernickel Posted August 31, 2021 Posted August 31, 2021 16 minutes ago, Gaeta said: Is that salvageable?? Don't remember your history with the teacher, but you can definitely meet up with him or talk to him for distraction, if nothing else. Also – teacher is a reputable job, at least here in the U.S. (same in Canada, I suppose?), so you'll know he has a) a solid education, and b) a reliable source of income (which may be somewhat important & might put you at ease a little bit, especially following your most recent experience with someone asking you for money).
Author Gaeta Posted August 31, 2021 Author Posted August 31, 2021 (edited) 15 minutes ago, Pumpernickel said: Don't remember your history with the teacher, but you can definitely meet up with him or talk to him for distraction, if nothing else. We met once. Very talkative, good sense of humor, I liked the flow of energy between us. I met him right before leaving on vacation, upon my return he got visitors for 2 weeks vacationing at his house. During that time we spoke every day but Romeo was gaining ground and spending time with me. After 4 dates with Romeo I told teacher I had been on a few dates with someone and felt it was time I concentrate on 1 person. He wished me luck. Yes teachers are reputable and honorable jobs here too. ETA: Romeo had a good job with a reputable company, he had a decent salary with all the best benefits. When he divorced from his ex (doctor) she had to give him a sum of money for him to settle down and he didn't know he had to pay income tax on that sum. That's why he ended up with a big income tax bill. I also think Romeo got used to having a wealthy wife, nice car, designer clothes, luxurious home, and he had a hard time living the life of a regular joe blow. Edited August 31, 2021 by Gaeta
Pumpernickel Posted August 31, 2021 Posted August 31, 2021 (edited) @Gaeta Oh that sounds like the teacher encounter was just (maybe not "just", but it was a factor, right??) a bad timing thing. You know how many people say that a relationship could have/would have worked out, if everything leading up to it had taken place at a different time/different place? ---------> In your case: You went on vacay, then he had house guests, and Romeo snuck in..... bad timing!!! You really had no time for a second date. 18 minutes ago, Gaeta said: Romeo had a good job with a reputable company, he had a decent salary with all the best benefits. When he divorced from his ex (doctor) she had to give him a sum of money for him to settle down and he didn't know he had to pay income tax on that sum. That's why he ended up with a big income tax bill. I also think Romeo got used to having a wealthy wife, nice car, designer clothes, luxurious home, and he had a hard time living the life of a regular joe Ah, ok. Makes sense. That could also mean, though, that he asked you without thinking it through (it just slipped out of him basically), and he is now embarrassed, and that's why he ended the relationship (some men are very proud, and one mistake makes them want to disappear for good). (No need to assume he had an evil plan right from the start trying to rip you off. BUT it doesn't matter. Asking the woman you're in love with for $$$ during dating should be a red flag, at least a major turnoff either way. Would be for me. Should be for you. And maybe it WAS planned, and that would be even worse, obvs.) Edited August 31, 2021 by Pumpernickel 1
Recommended Posts