Author Gaeta Posted October 20, 2021 Author Posted October 20, 2021 1 hour ago, elaine567 said: I guess in the absence of better prospects. Prospects are flying left and right. When did l run out of men to date? I'm exchanging with 6 other men, meeting one on Friday.
elaine567 Posted October 20, 2021 Posted October 20, 2021 Just now, Gaeta said: Prospects are flying left and right. When did l run out of men to date? I'm exchanging with 6 other men, meeting one on Friday. I said better prospects
Wiseman2 Posted October 20, 2021 Posted October 20, 2021 11 minutes ago, Gaeta said: . I have a lot of first meetings, l see men once or twice but l never enter a relationship with them Have you considered getting a good profile and pics on quality paid dating apps? At least the users have credit cards. Try some relationship based ones like eHarmony or age appropriate ones like Our Time, etc.. It's not about how many free people message or how many meetings you can set up, it's about screening well for better matches, not just 1000 first dates and messages.
Author Gaeta Posted October 20, 2021 Author Posted October 20, 2021 1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said: Have you considered getting a good profile and pics on quality paid dating apps? At least the users have credit cards. Try some relationship based ones like eHarmony or age appropriate ones like Our Time, etc.. It's not about how many free people message or how many meetings you can set up, it's about screening well for better matches, not just 1000 first dates and messages. I tried all the sites you can imagine. There is no one on eHarmony from my Province (French Province), very little people on Our Time, same with Elite. This guy here I met him on FB, he's not on any other dating sites. When he broke up he told me he needed to concentrate on himself and that's what he did, I never saw his profile again. This is not about being lonely and patching a hole with what ever I can put my hands on, this is about finding the right fit for me, finding a man that makes me feel like I've rarely felt when meeting someone. The whole time I dated him my daughters kept telling me I was glowing, and so happy it was almost annoying, he had that effect on me.
Sun Seeker Posted October 20, 2021 Posted October 20, 2021 And he still ended up dumping you. The fact you are even talking to him let alone going to meet him again, is crazy, thought you had more self confidence than that. You should be looking forward, not backwards. You are only setting yourself up for more disappointment. 3
Author Gaeta Posted October 20, 2021 Author Posted October 20, 2021 2 hours ago, elaine567 said: I said better prospects What is better? He has a good job, well paid, full benefits, he's a good father, he keeps an extremely clean home, he makes me laugh, we can talk for hours, he's intelligent, knowledgeable, he's a good lover, he made me feel important, desired, he was helpful, he cooked for me, insisted with helping me with my car and different matters, his manners and language are impeccable. I RARELY see better than him!
elaine567 Posted October 20, 2021 Posted October 20, 2021 19 minutes ago, Gaeta said: What is better? He has a good job, well paid, full benefits, he's a good father, he keeps an extremely clean home, he makes me laugh, we can talk for hours, he's intelligent, knowledgeable, he's a good lover, he made me feel important, desired, he was helpful, he cooked for me, insisted with helping me with my car and different matters, his manners and language are impeccable. I RARELY see better than him! You forgot he is broke, he owes his relatives money and he asked you for money too, and then he dumped you... 4
Alpacalia Posted October 20, 2021 Posted October 20, 2021 3 hours ago, Gaeta said: My point is : my process may be different but l always figure it out. I have a lot of first meetings, l see men once or twice but did you notice l never enter a relationship with them if it doesn't feel 100% genuine? But Romeo freaked out and ended things with you. He also informed you that you'd meet a great person someday? Obviously, he does not consider himself to be that "wonderful guy," does he? 1
Author Gaeta Posted October 20, 2021 Author Posted October 20, 2021 1 minute ago, elaine567 said: You forgot he is broke, he owes his relatives money and he asked you for money too, and then he dumped you... I would not call him broke. He doesn't want debts that runs interests, he needs to get with the program, here in North America we all have debts with interest. This income tax debt is nothing to lose sleep over, the interest are very low, the government will accept all sort of small installments when you can't pay one shot. He refuses to do that. His sister told him he wants to be the only man on earth with no debts/interests, it's not gonna happen. Suggesting I could help was not ok, I agree with that, it was his mistake. Asking his siblings is a cultural thing I am not getting involved with that.
Author Gaeta Posted October 20, 2021 Author Posted October 20, 2021 2 minutes ago, Alpaca said: But Romeo freaked out and ended things with you. He also informed you that you'd meet a great person someday? Obviously, he does not consider himself to be that "wonderful guy," does he? He has unsolved problems, makes him think less of himself. Sometimes you just realize you had a good thing once it's gone. I don't know, you'll have to wait later this evening for my update
Alpacalia Posted October 20, 2021 Posted October 20, 2021 3 minutes ago, Gaeta said: I don't know, you'll have to wait later this evening for my update Oh boy. 1
Tullyseptember Posted October 20, 2021 Posted October 20, 2021 I really liked what you wrote here Gaeta, it shows tremendous growth and insight: "This is not about being lonely and patching a hole with what ever I can put my hands on, this is about finding the right fit for me" I was in a relationship for ten years and I've been single for 5 years now. It's taken me these 5 years to recognize I was trying to patch a hole versus finding the right fit. So I admire how you handle yourself with dating. I was completely clueless and you are not! 1
poppyfields Posted October 20, 2021 Posted October 20, 2021 (edited) I have to he honest, I feel a bit ill reading this. I truly thought you valued yourself higher G, and were smarter, but anyway here's my take... The man is a gold digger. Yes they exist, in abundance especially on the internet. Wealthy successful men know all about women goldiggers, how seductive they are, pulling them into their seductive web of deceit. Men have been destroyed by such women, such women know their prey, and they are extremely skilled at luring these men in. Here, the roles are reversed. Gaeta, you posted how this man made you feel. How your children said you literally glowed, that no man has ever made you feel that way. I guarantee you, you are not the first women he has seduced in this manner, like I said, such men are extremely skilled.. I have no doubt his wealthy ex also fell for his seductive charms. He sought her out, like an animal hunting prey, lured her in with his seductive charms (as he did you), and reaped the financial benefits. Even dumping you was a strategy. And it worked because my goodness, the way you are rationalizing, justifying, defending him, well it seems unreal to me, but sadly it's very real. And a bit pathetic if I'm honest, I'm sorry. I thought you were smarter than this G. Had more respect for yourself. Anyway, nuff said, I just had to say it. Take care. Edited October 20, 2021 by poppyfields 3
Allupinnit Posted October 20, 2021 Posted October 20, 2021 Why is this guy's finances any of your business at this point? You barely know him, he's not a relative or your husband. You honestly think you can't do better than someone who dumps you?! I mean that's like, the baseline. 3
Author Gaeta Posted October 20, 2021 Author Posted October 20, 2021 45 minutes ago, poppyfields said: I have no doubt his wealthy ex also fell for his seductive charms. He sought her out, like an animal hunting prey, lured her in with his seductive charms (as he did you), and reaped the financial benefits. They met in University in France. They were both students.
poppyfields Posted October 20, 2021 Posted October 20, 2021 (edited) To add Gaeta, re knowing his prey, the man is 7-8 years younger. He is sexy and hot. Did you ever wonder why he is seeking out older women, in their 50s or even older, off the internet? Why not a younger woman, his own age at least? Did you ever wonder about it? You have to know what the perception out there is. I read a couple of men's sites, it's VERY real, as ugly as it may sound. The perception is older women in 50s advertising on internet have money and are lonely. Many are vulnerable. I an not making this up, the perception is real. That is why you need to be extremely careful. And when you encounter a glaring red flag like this, it's an immediate NEXT. No justifying, no rationalizing, no defending. No attempting to "understand." He KNOWS what he's doing and trust me it's quite calculated. Edited October 20, 2021 by poppyfields 3
Author Gaeta Posted October 20, 2021 Author Posted October 20, 2021 39 minutes ago, Allupinnit said: Why is this guy's finances any of your business at this point? You barely know him, he's not a relative or your husband. You honestly think you can't do better than someone who dumps you?! I mean that's like, the baseline. LS is making it my business. And Holy Cow! He is not the first man re-thinking a decision. 1
Johnjohnson2017 Posted October 20, 2021 Posted October 20, 2021 2 hours ago, Gaeta said: What is better? He has a good job, well paid, full benefits, he's a good father, he keeps an extremely clean home, he makes me laugh, we can talk for hours, he's intelligent, knowledgeable, he's a good lover, he made me feel important, desired, he was helpful, he cooked for me, insisted with helping me with my car and different matters, his manners and language are impeccable. I RARELY see better than him! You don't want to lend him money because you don't want to feel used. You don't trust him. You don't trust his intentions. If you truly thought "He has a good job, well paid, full benefits, he's a good father, he keeps an extremely clean home, he makes me laugh, we can talk for hours, he's intelligent, knowledgeable, he's a good lover, he made me feel important, desired, he was helpful, he cooked for me, insisted with helping me with my car and different matters, his manners and language are impeccable", you would be lending him money with no hesitation. Would you risk losing the "perfect" man just because of money? you can earn more money to replace the lost money, but you might not meet another man like him. Since the money issue is a big thing for you now, that means you don't think he's trustworthy. 1
poppyfields Posted October 20, 2021 Posted October 20, 2021 (edited) 4 minutes ago, Gaeta said: They met in University in France. They were both students. I'm sorry, I cannot read anymore, I'm out. Good luck. Edited October 20, 2021 by poppyfields
Allupinnit Posted October 20, 2021 Posted October 20, 2021 Also this seems to be becoming quite common for women who are seeking someone online. My MIL became widowed last year and the first man she met said allllll of the right things and she thought she was in love after only one month. That is until he hit her up for 80K. It took my H and I talking straight to her that he was a scammer and even THEN she wouldn't cut him off immediately, she wanted to believe so badly that he was everything he made her heart feel. It was so sad to watch. She has been addicted to those trashy romance novels all her life and that is her idea of romance, to be swept off her feet. This is a lie that Hallmark made up. Our hearts are rarely to be trusted. I suspect this is why you are having such a hard time meeting someone quality. You can't see someone for who they really are once you hand your heart over on a silver platter because he APPEARS to you a certain way, or the sex is good. you don't know someone after 6 weeks. AT ALL. Online dating is mostly a trash heap, I'm sorry to say.
Author Gaeta Posted October 20, 2021 Author Posted October 20, 2021 4 minutes ago, poppyfields said: Did you ever wonder why he is seeking out older women, in their 50s or even older, off the internet? You all have to make up your mind here about the age. I've turned 56 last week, he's turning 49 in December. He is 7 years younger. On one hand I am told that's nothing in terms of age difference, it's perfectly normal for a man to date a woman 7 years younger so what's wrong with the other way around? There is a thread here with a woman 40 years older than her boyfriend....and I am called an 'older woman' because of 7 years? 1
Author Gaeta Posted October 20, 2021 Author Posted October 20, 2021 4 minutes ago, Johnjohnson2017 said: You would be lending him money with no hesitation. Absolutely not hahaha! I am not some type of raggy doll with no head, I am not giving money to a man I have only dated 6 weeks NO MATTER how much butterflies he gives me! I think no one here is debating if I am responsible with my money or not.
poppyfields Posted October 20, 2021 Posted October 20, 2021 (edited) 6 minutes ago, Gaeta said: You all have to make up your mind here about the age. I've turned 56 last week, he's turning 49 in December. He is 7 years younger. On one hand I am told that's nothing in terms of age difference, it's perfectly normal for a man to date a woman 7 years younger so what's wrong with the other way around? There is a thread here with a woman 40 years older than her boyfriend....and I am called an 'older woman' because of 7 years? There is nothing wrong with older woman/younger man and had you met in real life, naturally, organically, there would be no issue. But come on, you met on the internet! Again, you HAVE to know what the perception is! And the man hit you up for money after only 10 dates!! And no it was NOT a joke. And immediately dumped you when you refused. Why are you defending him? Have you no pride, no self respect? What the heck is going on here? Edited October 20, 2021 by poppyfields 1
Author Gaeta Posted October 20, 2021 Author Posted October 20, 2021 7 minutes ago, Allupinnit said: Also this seems to be becoming quite common for women who are seeking someone online. My MIL became widowed last year and the first man she met said allllll of the right things and she thought she was in love after only one month. That is until he hit her up for 80K. It took my H and I talking straight to her that he was a scammer and even THEN she wouldn't cut him off immediately, she wanted to believe so badly that he was everything he made her heart feel. It was so sad to watch. She has been addicted to those trashy romance novels all her life and that is her idea of romance, to be swept off her feet. This is a lie that Hallmark made up. Our hearts are rarely to be trusted. I suspect this is why you are having such a hard time meeting someone quality. You can't see someone for who they really are once you hand your heart over on a silver platter because he APPEARS to you a certain way, or the sex is good. you don't know someone after 6 weeks. AT ALL. Online dating is mostly a trash heap, I'm sorry to say. I'm sorry this happened to her. She was vulnerable with no experience. I am neither. This man did not sweep me off my feet with romance and words. He charmed me simply with his personality, intelligence, kindness.
Allupinnit Posted October 20, 2021 Posted October 20, 2021 2 minutes ago, Gaeta said: I'm sorry this happened to her. She was vulnerable with no experience. I am neither. This man did not sweep me off my feet with romance and words. He charmed me simply with his personality, intelligence, kindness. Gently, I would hope that you've been dating so long you know a snake when you see one. He popped back up out of nowhere because someone else fell through online. Your heart jumped and you're giddy about seeing him. I'd say you're already vulnerable even if you don't give him a dime. Your heart, time and mental bandwidth are equally valuable. But you know all of this. You just want to follow the "chemistry" and hope you're the exception. I know you will say I'm wrong but your actions say otherwise. Let us know how the walk goes. Please don't sleep with him.
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