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Absence of compliments


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I didn't read much of the posts but compliments make me feel awkward. I can give them out no problem but I don't receive them well. Haha!

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47 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

Romeo had a good job with a reputable company, he had a decent salary with all the best benefits. When he divorced from his ex (doctor) she had to give him a sum of money for him to settle down and he didn't know he had to pay income tax on that sum. That's why he ended up with a big income tax bill. I also think Romeo got used to having a wealthy wife, nice car, designer clothes, luxurious home, and he had a hard time living the life of a regular joe blow. 

Frankly G, not sure how you can believe anything that "person" (cannot even bring myself to call him a man after this) told you.

He's a scammer, a predator of older (50+) wealthy women he finds on the internet. Or women he perceives to be wealthy. 

I think you need to be careful of that.  You are very successful, own a large beautiful home, drive a nice car, nice clothes, you present well, like you have money.

There are lots of predators on line, you know that.  Scammers, trollers.  Men with a hidden agenda, even if that agenda is "kicks and giggles."  Boredom, whatever. 

Or worse, scamming for money, like he did.

Another reason why I won't ever do "on line" again and that includes dating apps, and talking to men on social media, which I don't even have anymore, but you know what I mean.

I disagree about Teacher guy.  Please don't do that to him.  He wasnt "it" for you the first time, and my sense is he's not "it" for you now either, you are falling back on him to ease the disappointment about Romeo.

Start fresh is my advice, good luck!! 

 

 

Edited by poppyfields
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6 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

I think you need to be careful of that.  You are very successful, own a large beautiful home, drive a nice car, nice clothes, you present well, like you have money.

Don't start rumors I live in a condo and drive a Prius lol. But yes I present well and  don't come across as someone that struggles. 

I'm not excusing him, I want to move on and forget that even happened. My ego took a blow not so much my heart. 

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Happy Lemming
4 hours ago, Gaeta said:

What's the alternative?

The vast majority of women I met in my lifetime of dating were pubs/bars...  some of the other places were:

(1) College – night school

(2) Co-ed Sports

(3) Friend’s Party

(4) Long Lines – Bank/grocery store

(5) Hobbies

(6) Food Festivals

(7) Through mutual friends (I know you mentioned you have no single friends, but do they know of any?? - Friend of a friend/neighbor), type of thing.

(8) Worked in same office building – different company

(9) Used book store

(10) Apartment Complex Pool – current girlfriend

Just to name a few...  I just feel bad that you are throwing yourself back into this on-line dating mess that has been such a nasty ordeal.

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I think needing compliments, flattery, etc. is a vulnerability.

Needing any form of obsequious behaviors makes one a target for people with cheap easy words to appeal to that.

Best to derive self worth from yourself. 

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Appreciating to hear nice words from someone is not any kind of obsequiousness. It doesn’t even need to be telling you anything that you don’t already know

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19 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said:

Yea Enough about this clown. I want to hear updates on the next date 😊

Someone else just showed up. I actually created a thread about this man in 2015. We saw each other a few times. He was a nurse with 4 young daughters at the time. He had 0 time to date and it was a painful 3 months before I realized I had to stop waiting on him. 

He sent me a message on FB dating this morning. His oldest is graduating Uni and his youngest is 13 now. He said I have not changed and still as beautiful, he remembered the name of my street... I don't remember his lol. Hopefully I'm smarter than in 2015.

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Since my divorce when I was 51 I've been amazed at the number of men in my age group that are comfortable having women pay their way, even expect it.  Especially if they had previous relationships with financially successful women. If you're a woman over 50 with a nice standard of living, you'll be a prime target.  Watch out for guys looking for "a nurse or a purse".

Most of the time that trait is apparent early on fortunately.

Note- I don't like it when women are looking for a guy to bankroll them either.

 

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Let me entertain you: 

(1) College – night school - NIL (you know I am 55 right)

(2) Co-ed Sports - NIL (see number 1)

(3) Friend’s Party - NIL (see number 7)

(4) Long Lines – Bank/grocery store NIL (been grocery shopping for 35 years)

(5) Hobbies NIL ( I sew for hobby, I would have to take up wood-working)

(6) Food Festivals NIL (How many food festival I would need and then I tap on their shoulder and ask if they're single?)

(7) Through mutual friends  NIL (not advertising I carry hsv2 among my friends & family)

(8) Worked in same office building – different company - NIL (office moved in middle of nowhere but I got a free parking out of it)

(9) Used book store NIL you just came up with that one to fill the list.

(10) Apartment Complex Pool – current girlfriend - NIL 

Just to name a few...  I just feel bad that you are throwing yourself back into this on-line dating mess that has been such a nasty ordeal. Thank you

Edited by Gaeta
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Happy Lemming
2 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

(9) Used book store NIL you just came up with that one to fill the list.

No... I actually did meet someone at a used bookstore.  We dated briefly.

Well I just didn't want you have to "suffer the slings and arrows" of on-line dating.

I guess... just be as careful as possible.

Wishing you good luck with the next one.

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Calmandfocused

OMG!

Have I read this correctly? The guy you’ve been seeing for 6 weeks has finished with you after you declined to lend him money? 
 

WTF?!!!

I take back what I said in my last post. 
 

I’m sorry that you’re upset but I’m delighted that he’s gone before you got more embroiled with this man. 
 

Lucky escape Gaeta. Don’t let him get you down.

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Happy Lemming
1 hour ago, Gaeta said:

I sew for hobby...

Same here, not as a hobby, just out of necessity from time to time to repair and make things I need.

I had a used Singer (for a while) that finally bit the dust and I replaced it with an Alco that I found at a thrift shop.  After a good cleaning and oiling, it runs perfect. I actually like my Alco better than the Singer.

Don't want to derail your thread, but was just curious what sewing machine you are using up there in Canada.

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2 hours ago, Gaeta said:

Someone else just showed up. I actually created a thread about this man in 2015. We saw each other a few times. He was a nurse with 4 young daughters at the time. He had 0 time to date and it was a painful 3 months before I realized I had to stop waiting on him. 

He sent me a message on FB dating this morning. His oldest is graduating Uni and his youngest is 13 now. He said I have not changed and still as beautiful, he remembered the name of my street... I don't remember his lol. Hopefully I'm smarter than in 2015.

Ooohh nice. You know people I’ve met/dated  in the past have been great leads from my experience. This is exciting news !

 

 

Edited by Cookiesandough
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Think it is very cool that you cook and sew. break those gender norms! Not enough men on their cooking and sewing game 

@Gaeta you too. Wood working sounds fun. 

I have a singer and a brother but I use the brother more actually since it’s less of a production 

Edited by Cookiesandough
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11 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said:

Same here, not as a hobby, just out of necessity from time to time to repair and make things I need.

I had a used Singer (for a while) that finally bit the dust and I replaced it with an Alco that I found at a thrift shop.  After a good cleaning and oiling, it runs perfect. I actually like my Alco better than the Singer.

Don't want to derail your thread, but was just curious what sewing machine you are using up there in Canada.

You're amazing lol, is there anything you cannot do? 

Singer is big here. I sew on a Brother I bought 35 years ago when my daughter was born lol. I started sewing at the age of 12-13. My grand mother made wedding dresses and I'd watch her in complete admiration. 

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22 hours ago, Gaeta said:

Saturday we spent the day together and I felt a shift during the day. At some point he was talking about his income tax debt and that he didn't want to pay interest so he borrowed money from his siblings and he now owes his siblings. Then he said 'maybe you can help me too'. I said if we had been together for a year or more I would but I could not do that after only knowing him for 6 weeks. He then said he was joking and that was not a real request. From there the 'connection' was broken. Yesterday he did not initiate contact as he usually does and today I got that broke up text.

Where did anyone get this was a loan?  This was not a loan, he asked Gaeta for money, he said nothing about paying her back. 

Nor was it a "joke."  

He had no intention of paying her back, in fact my guess is he would have continued asking for money and then eventually disappeared.

He is a PREDATOR.

Gaeta, you are a m a z i n g!  A better person than I, I am STILL angry and it didn't even happen to me!

But here you are, getting right back on the horse, good for you!!

 

 

 

Edited by poppyfields
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This is the very first time this is happenning to me. Three men from my past show up on my first day back online!!

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19 hours ago, Cookiesandough said:

Yea Enough about this clown. I want to hear updates on the next date 😊

Your wish came true! I got 2 dates coming up on the weekend! Not bad, 48 hours after being dumped! 😉

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1 hour ago, Gaeta said:

Your wish came true! I got 2 dates coming up on the weekend! Not bad, 48 hours after being dumped! 😉

This attitude is the key to successful OLD. If you get too caught up in the early stages you’ll burnout. 

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41 minutes ago, Weezy1973 said:

This attitude is the key to successful OLD. If you get too caught up in the early stages you’ll burnout. 

It's key in "real life" dating too.😳

Gaeta, did you ever watch the Bravo series "Dirty John" with Eric Bana and Connie Britton, two fantastic actors!

100% factual true story based on a true crime podcast about an internet predator (John Meehan) and a woman he scammed.

Same sitch as what happened with Romeo (almost identical - attractive 50+ woman, successful, two daughters) but it had a VERY different outcome. 

It'll scare the daylights out of you, it did me!  

You will love it, I promise!  And it's essential viewing for any woman on line dating.  Younger, older, wealthy, not wealthy.

But what happened to the woman (Debra Newell) won't ever happen to you cause you're SMART.  As evidenced by your not falling for Romeo's efforts to bamboozle you. 

I'm sorry what happened G, bullet dodged! 

Have fun on your dates!  

 

Edited by poppyfields
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G, to add, Dirty John (Season 1) is streaming on Amazon prime and Netfix. 

I highly recommend, I may watch again! 

It's a great series. 

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