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Saturday night crying

mortensorchid

By mortensorchid
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mortensorchid Established Member

mortensorchid

Posted
Posted

I had connected with this guy on Facebook.  We got to chatting over things, he asked me out.  He was/is 55 so he wasn't a kid, he looked like Paul Rudd sort of.  We arranged to meet, and I made an effort to look my best for it.  I wore a dress and heels, make up, perfume, let me hair down rather than the usual shorts and T shirt I usually wear.  I was even showing a bit of cleavage because I said I was going to make the effort to look more attractive rather than just a tomboy anymore.  He chose the place, I got there on time, it wasn't some dive it was a really decent restaurant and I sat down at the bar after using the bathroom.  I was ready.

I get an IM from him through Facebook on my phone:

Him : Hi, I know we're supposed to meet at 5:30, I saw some photos from a Trump rally on your Facebook page.  Do you support Trump?

Me: Why? 

Him : It's a yes or no question.  Life is short. 

Me: Are you saying if I say yes then you will not show and if I say no you will?   Those photos were taken when I went to a Trump rally with a buddy of mine, we went and took some goofy pictures of us with Trump signs, and we Photoshopped them.  (There is one of me and him holding the sign on the Planet of the Apes beach which was a big hit with others)

Me: I am at the place now waiting for you.  AM I to leave and forget the whole thing over some goofy pictures and you waited until the last minute? 

(no answer)

Me: Wow, just wow.  I hope you treat the next one far nicer than you did me.

I came home crying.  I had black streaks running down my cheeks and someone said how pretty my dress was before they got closer and realized I was crying.  

  • Like 1
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spiderowl Established Member

spiderowl

Posted
Posted

I am truly sorry mortensorchid.   If he had an issue with something on your Facebook, he should have let you know sooner.

I can sort of understand him feeling a political difference is a dealbreaker, but again even if he only found out shortly before your date, it would have been polite of him to turn up.  Then again, would you have preferred him to turn up, knowing he wasn't going to continue to date someone with politically opposing views to him, and spend time with you only to disappear after that?

It sounds an awful situation and I can understand you being hurt.  I am not sure what to say except that it is wise to put any potential dealbreakers on your profile.  It seems in this case that you didn't think it would be a dealbreaker.  In my experience, politics is usually a biggie, along with drinking, smoking, religion and diet.

Sending hugs to you xx

  • Like 4
Johnjohnson2017 Established Member

Johnjohnson2017

Posted
Posted

Sorry to hear that. He should have been mature enough to actually meet you and have the discussion in person. That's a Sh---y thing to do. He accepted to meet you there that's what he should have done.

He's an A.H. He is not worth your time.

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stillafool Established Member

stillafool

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Posted

What a Jerk!  I'm so sorry this happened to you.  You don't deserve that but don't let it make you give up.

petee Established Member

petee

Posted
Posted (edited)

You deserve so much better. At least you know that this chap is an anus, before you invest.

I'm disgusted that people do this to others, but I assure you he is not the norm. 

Keep yourself happy in the fact that this loser lost again.

The US seems more hung up on politics than we are here in the UK, but we can peacefully coexist [ ] 

Make sure he is blocked, for when this bounder sobers up.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
group berating
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Ami1uwant Established Member

Ami1uwant

Posted
Posted

I’m sorry this happened….but….

 

I understand it.

 

 

I am independent/ democrat. I will not date a Republican/ religious anymore.  
 

I have previously ..but things are just to partisan now.

 

about 6 yrs ago I met someone online and we really clicked but for some unknown reason she was a Republican.  I was torn by this. While she wasn’t a trump supporter she still voted for trump.  I just couldn’t get passed that and didn’t want to waste my time in something that has no hope of something long term.

 

 

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Happy Lemming Established Member

Happy Lemming

Posted
Posted

These are the type of people you get from on-line sources.  Real men don't stand up a date, they show up and learn more about the woman.  If any of the pictures (you posted) offended him, then he can choose not to ask you out on a second date.  He made the date, he should have kept it. It kind of sounds like he was looking for an excuse to get out of it.  At 55 he should not be acting like a child, he should be a man and keep his word and the date.

I really think you would do better attempting to meet people in "real life" situations/scenarios (instead of the on-line sources you've been using).

I'm sorry this happened to you.

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Fox Sake Established Member

Fox Sake

Posted
Posted

You deserve so much better!  
The brisk “yes or no. Life is short”  sounded quite closed minded, I’m amazed you still went after that. 
Every dirt bag brings you closer to a pot of gold :) Keep your chin up. Good things are always just around the corner -hugs- 

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basil67 Established Member

basil67

Posted
Posted

I'm sorry this happened to you, but I also understand it.   If I found a deal breaker at last minute, I too would pull out of a date.  Better to pull out than lead the person on with a pleasant date when there's no chance there will be a second date.

These days, our social media reflects us.  If pictures of you holding a Trump placard don't represent who you are and what you believe, you'd be best to remove them.  Or have fun photoshopping them in a way which leaves no doubt as to your feelings on the matter.   

 

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petee Established Member

petee

Posted
Posted

At the end of a day a heart is a heart. It need not be any more complicated than that. If people insist on taking politics into their dating solution then move on!! You will be just fine.

 

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Shining One Established Member

Shining One

Posted
Posted
12 minutes ago, basil67 said:

I'm sorry this happened to you, but I also understand it.   If I found a deal breaker at last minute, I too would pull out of a date.  Better to pull out than lead the person on with a pleasant date when there's no chance there will be a second date.

Agreed. I'm curious as to what the posters bashing the guy would consider the "appropriate" course of action.

  1. Person A and Person B have a date scheduled.
  2. Person A discovers a potential deal-breaker with Person B shortly before the date is supposed to happen.
  3. Person A asks Person B a question regarding this potential deal-breaker.
  4. Person B avoids answering the question.
  5. What does Person A do?
  • Like 1
Lotsgoingon Established Member

Lotsgoingon

Posted
Posted

You handled things well. 

What a jerk! ... Look, I agree with his politics and yet I think he was a jerk here ... I mean, if I'm on the way to meeting someone, I'm gonna show up. 

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chillii Established Member

chillii

Posted
Posted

Oh God , the world is really , really , full of them these days isn't it eh.

Sorry op. PS , you sounded looking so nice too .

  • Like 1
BaileyB Established Member

BaileyB

Posted
Posted

While I agree that social media is a reflection on each and every individual that uses it… I’m still really sorry that this happened to you. This guy is a jerk! Best you learn that before dating him… hugs. 

  • Like 1
lana-banana Established Member

lana-banana

Posted
Posted (edited)

This guy is maybe a bit brusque and should have phrased things better, but I get it. He pulled out due to a perceived dealbreaker. Why would you choose to go on a date with someone who has already shown that they're not somebody you want to date?

Edited by lana-banana
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Happy Lemming Established Member

Happy Lemming

Posted
Posted
39 minutes ago, Shining One said:

Agreed. I'm curious as to what the posters bashing the guy would consider the "appropriate" course of action.

He made the date... he should have showed up.  He wasn't obligated to ask her out on a second date, but he did set the first date, show up like a man.

"My word is my bond" - London Stock Exchange (motto - 1801)

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poppyfields Established Member

poppyfields

Posted
Posted

He sounded angry!  No need to become angry just because you don't agree politically, that makes him an arse in my book.

Bullet dodged, no need for tears. But understand the disappointment, especially since you went to great effort. 

Hugs.

 

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BaileyB Established Member

BaileyB

Posted
Posted
Just now, Happy Lemming said:

He made the date... he should have showed up.  He wasn't obligated to ask her out on a second date, but he did set the first date, show up like a man.

I tend to agree. There were better ways to learn about the woman and get clarification. This was rude and unnecessary. What has happened to basic kindness these days…  

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Shining One Established Member

Shining One

Posted
Posted
5 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said:

He made the date... he should have showed up.  He wasn't obligated to ask her out on a second date, but he did set the first date, show up like a man.

Interesting. I've been called "cruel" for going out on a date with a woman after I had already determined I saw no real potential in her.

  • Like 1
poppyfields Established Member

poppyfields

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, Shining One said:

I was called cruel by female friends, not by my dates.

Oh okay!  That's better. Lol

Miss Spider Established Member

Miss Spider

Posted
Posted (edited)
11 minutes ago, Shining One said:

Interesting. I've been called "cruel" for going out on a date with a woman after I had already determined I saw no real potential in her.

It’s a bit different seeing as she was already at the place.  He literally messaged her after the time the date was supposed to be while she was waiting there

Edited by Cookiesandough
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Shining One Established Member

Shining One

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, mortensorchid said:

I came home crying.  I had black streaks running down my cheeks and someone said how pretty my dress was before they got closer and realized I was crying.  

Something to consider... why were you so emotionally invested before the first date? Yes, getting stood up sucks. Most of us have been there. You were already dressed up, so why not have a night out? That's what I started doing after getting stood up became a somewhat common occurrence. Heck, I once picked up a woman who had been stood up at a bar.

  • Like 2
Fletch Lives Established Member

Fletch Lives

Posted
Posted

I'm sorry dear.

I had one like that.....she asked me if I was a Trump supporter. I just tell people I'm not into politics.

Don't worry, the best people don't let politics get between them and their date. He was no catch.

  • Thanks 1
Interstellar Established Member

Interstellar

Posted
Posted (edited)

It sounds like you’re dressed really hot Mo...but that sucks, that was cruel. sorry this happened to you.

this is why i stay off facebook, and social media. one wrong impression and you’re out.[ ] 

 

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
politics in a non political thread
IrinaM Established Member

IrinaM

Posted
Posted
Quote

Him : Hi, I know we're supposed to meet at 5:30, I saw some photos from a Trump rally on your Facebook page.  Do you support Trump?

Me: Why? 

Him : It's a yes or no question.  Life is short.

the way he texted you with such an accusatory tone is disgusting. what a dickbag. You deserve way better. It's like he wanted you to feel like it was somehow your fault he wasn't going to show up. block this creep.

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