Are Paid Dating Sites/Apps Better Quality Dates (Generally) Compared to Free Sites?

[Love2Love78]

Since I don't know many people in this area, my go-to with dating over the last few years has been dating apps.  But, I tend to use the free ones, as I figure why pay for something I can get for free.  However, I read an interesting article recently that many of the people who go to the free sites really aren't that serious about dating.  For me personally, I want something long-term, lasting, romantic, and serious.

With that said, I have had really bad luck running into people with all kinds of baggage.  I'm talking deal-breaker, too much to handle baggage.  Either that, or they are serial daters not taking it serious in the least bit.  Jumping around from person to person not even knowing what it is they want.  So, the free sites don't seem to have much of anything worthwhile in my experience.

I am wondering, for those who have tried and have a basis of comparison, how do you feel about the paid dating sites?  The article said the people on those sites tend to be the ones who are more serious about finding a relationship, and that the cost filters out those that aren't taking it seriously at all.  For those who have tried both, what do you think?  Is it worth trying one of the paid ones out?  I am seriously considering it this time around.

[central]

IMO, the quality and sincerity of people on pay-sites is higher.  The free sites can produce results, but there are a lot more fakes, flakes, and scammers in addition to the not-serious.  I had my best results on match, OKCupid is good even if using the free version, and PoF is decent as well.

If there is a free trial, take advantage of it.  Sometimes you meet someone quickly, before the free trial ends.  After that, pay for it - hopefully you'll be off the site in less than a year.  And you can look at the free sites and avoid many of the same people on the pay site.

[Miss Spider]

Quality people usually aren’t OLDing lol… having said that, i think people on paid sites are probably taking it a little more seriously in general. It’s worth a shot just to see.. they aren’t that much money 

Edited August 25, 2021 by Cookiesandough

[Alpacalia]

My third cousin is retired air force and he met his wife on Tinder I believe. It was completely by accident through a mutual love of skiing.

So, that's just one perspective. 

Good-luck with whatever you decide.

[max3732]

Why not try multiple free sites and then a pay site as well? I met my current gf on a free site and struck out with the paid ones. The main problem with the free ones are low quality as well as scam matches. There are some of these on paid ones as well, but not as many.

[Gaeta]

I met interesting men on FB dating and met my current guy there. 

[Ami1uwant]

2 hours ago, Love2Love78 said:

Since I don't know many people in this area, my go-to with dating over the last few years has been dating apps.  But, I tend to use the free ones, as I figure why pay for something I can get for free.  However, I read an interesting article recently that many of the people who go to the free sites really aren't that serious about dating.  For me personally, I want something long-term, lasting, romantic, and serious.

With that said, I have had really bad luck running into people with all kinds of baggage.  I'm talking deal-breaker, too much to handle baggage.  Either that, or they are serial daters not taking it serious in the least bit.  Jumping around from person to person not even knowing what it is they want.  So, the free sites don't seem to have much of anything worthwhile in my experience.

I am wondering, for those who have tried and have a basis of comparison, how do you feel about the paid dating sites?  The article said the people on those sites tend to be the ones who are more serious about finding a relationship, and that the cost filters out those that aren't taking it seriously at all.  For those who have tried both, what do you think?  Is it worth trying one of the paid ones out?  I am seriously considering it this time around.

I’ve been doing various forms of OLD for 25+ yrs. I was married during that time and had a LTR of 4+ yrs.

 

 

 

in the late 90s…AOL  big then. I met some peop,e through cat rooms on there and on other convo sites through yahoo.  There was a board like this off of Microsoft site . I used Love@AOL which match bought.  Then people looking we’re serious about looking.  You’d get serious responses and get dates.  I had met some farther away that I actually travelled to meet. I met some people I was just friends with.  I also met some that we dates some but there were differences.  I was dating someone about once every three weeks.

I et someone through online that I married and divorced…about 7 yrs in total.  
 

after Marriage I went back into the dating pool. Thus time I used formal dating sites like ehatmony, and match.  Those were two paid sites. I had much better success in eharmony.  After a few years online dating started to be more socially acceptable so you started to get more flakes.

 

st the time you saw the same profiles on different sites where people would pay 3 months and rotate. During this time I was regularly meeting people. Some i dates a few months. I didn’t want to feel I was wasting my time just dating someone.  After about 3 yrs I met someone that lasted 4+ yrs.  could have been marriage. It ended and I transferred my job.

 

in the last 5 yrs I’ve tried dating apps and have gotten nowhere.  Now with Covid..dating has frozen.

 

[Daisydooks]

I met my H on POF 8 years ago. He is my bestest friend and the most awesome guy I know. ❤ I think it depends on the person really. 

For me, I was driven to apps because I wasnt finding men in real life I was attracted to in any real way or if I was, Id find out they had kids after meeting them or something. Id meet them, then would find out they lived with 3 other guys.  With OLD, I KNOW people can lie but I was able to weed guys I found attractive out who just didnt fit the mold for me with OLD. I also didnt have a tonne of time to search high and low and wasnt an overly social woman. I was and am career driven and although I had time free on weekends to date, I didnt really live a lifestyle that had me out every Friday and Saturday on the prowl. So OLD was great for me. Of course I had a few connections online that didnt pan out in real life which I think it fairly normal where the connection in person wasnt really there. 

 I literally chose my husband down to his hair colour and astrological sign, and of course his desire for things like kids and marriage. I was very picky about what I wanted and I found it easier to find online than in real life, funny enough.  

 

[d0nnivain]

For the brief time I did OLD ---- for a mere 90 days, 15+ years ago -- I did eharmony because it was a paid site & that questionnaire was a p.i.t.a.   I assumed I would find people who wanted something serious rather than a one off profile that somebody created one night when lonely &  home alone & drinking.  

I didn't find the love of my life but on paper at least every man I was matched with was a quality person seeking a LTR leading to marriage.  

I actually met my husband in a bar.  lol 

My advice shop around for coupons to the paid sites.  Make a small investment.  Meanwhile step up your in person game.  Join a local club or attend a meet-up designed to expand your social circle.  

Edited August 26, 2021 by d0nnivain

[Miss Spider]

Depends on your definition of quality. I guess that’s very subjective . ^^
 

You can find love on free apps too tho. I met a ex bf on tinder. 

[Wiseman2]

Pay sites offer better screening. Signing up with a credit card tells you at least that much.

It's also a better screening tool as far as features, bells, whistles, etc.

There may be just as many quality people on free sites, but disadvantage is sifting through all the junk to find them.

[IntBrowser]

On 8/25/2021 at 8:08 PM, Gaeta said:

I met interesting men on FB dating and met my current guy there. 

what is Facebook dating exactly?   Im scared to try it lol

[Gaeta]

7 hours ago, IntBrowser said:

what is Facebook dating exactly?   Im scared to try it lol

It's minimal. You can't tell if people are online or when they were last. You can't see their FB, you can load different pictures. You set age, distance of your search, it tells you if someone is friends with your friends. You can send likes or messages. It's a data base of those single on FB.

[Weezy1973]

I did OLD on and off for over a decade with both paid and free sites. First key is to realize that free sites make their money from advertising and therefore are incentivized to keep you coming back to the site. They use the illusion that the “one” is just the next click or swipe away to keep people using the app / site. Not that you can’t find someone that way, it’s just those apps aren’t really designed for that as much as they’re designed to “gamify” dating. Making the actual swiping somewhat addictive etc. 

Paid sites like eHarmony on the other hand are incentivized to get your money directly and find you some good matches  so you will tell your friends and they’ll get more people etc.

The key difference I found was that the free sites (mainly Tinder, POF and OKCupid) did give the illusion that there were endless options, but the compatibility of the actual dates for me wasn’t great. Whereas with the paid site (eHarmony) there were far fewer people, but the matches were better, and I ultimately met my wife on eHarmony. 

[Maldives]

Less scammers but I wouldn't say better necessarily. OLD for me has not worked so far been on and off em for almost five yrs. 

[spiderowl]

I have tried both.  I would say that the paid dating sites tend to attract a 'better class of clients' who are more educated and serious about meeting someone.  However, said clients also tend to post lists of requirements, boast about being high-achievers, and generally seem to be 'up themselves' (for want of a better phrase).

Free sites tend to attract weirdos, those who can barely communicate, and liars and fetishists who are hoping to get their unusual needs met for free.  There are also decent people on there too.

I don't think I'd pay again.  The paying sites have ways of making you pay more for each additional 'benefit' of the site, even when you have paid a fee.  I am not convinced of the validity of the people on there either, I suspect some are fakes or people who have lapsed or even left.  The sites need lots of clients in order to attract new paying customers.  People would not join if there were only a few others on the sites.  I've also experienced people contacting me who didn't seem to want anything but to say hello and be flattering.  I don't believe these people were seeking anything but were paid employees of the site trying to keep clients interested.

Edited August 27, 2021 by spiderowl

[Miss Spider]

I guess … but my brief experience on them w the trial was that they were all kind of desperate. In that I mean they were taking it seriously and wanting to get cuffed up really fast. A lot of middle aged men looking for an Asian trophy wife and just not really desirable people to me in general. I didn’t unlock the fully pay to unlock everything though to be fair 

[basil67]

43 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said:

They were taking it seriously and wanting to get cuffed up really fast.

So if a person is serious about finding a relationship, this sounds like a good place to go.   Unlike other dating apps which may be better for those who just want to mess about.

But yes, I can imagine a woman who's of Asian heritage would struggle weeding out those who want her because she's Asian vs being interested in her as a woman. 

[chillii]

On 8/26/2021 at 8:14 AM, Cookiesandough said:

Quality people usually aren’t OLDing lol… having said that, i think people on paid sites are probably taking it a little more seriously in general. It’s worth a shot just to see.. they aren’t that much money 

l def' wouldn't agree with that , you were on some right and most every single in this place sounds like they were , even l was once and l get plenty of attention in the real world but so what , that doesn't mean that's by the right lady though.

There are good people on date sites no doubt about it. lt's just that for whatever reason life is what it is at the time and so instead they try a date site .lt's easy to turn around later , divorced , 40s or 50s and have no social life or be in areas where no one takes your fancy . When l was on one there were some great people and l'm as fussy as fk but on them l was very very selective and the few l bothered with it was just a given that we were usually both just in that place in life. l actually really liked that given between us about it.

But yeah , of course there were a lot of troubled souls too or ridiculous expectations  they very very obviously would not have a hope in hell of finding in the real world it was often laughable. But all those types were very very easy to spot at a glance and a few lines in the women. No idea with guys l wasn't looking for a guy haha but probably the same.

Edited August 28, 2021 by chillii

[Miss Spider]

6 hours ago, basil67 said:

So if a person is serious about finding a relationship, this sounds like a good place to go.   

Yea for sure… if you just want a relationship and don’t really care about who it’s with, it’s great. Seems like there’s a lot of people on there in the same boat 

[basil67]

24 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said:

Yea for sure… if you just want a relationship and don’t really care about who it’s with, it’s great. Seems like there’s a lot of people on there in the same boat 

Surely there's an option to pick and choose who to have a relationship with?    That some might rush in doesn't mean that the other has no choice

[smackie9]

I say make your best effort meeting people irl.

[Trail Blazer]

On 8/26/2021 at 7:44 AM, Cookiesandough said:

Quality people usually aren’t OLDing lol… having said that, i think people on paid sites are probably taking it a little more seriously in general. It’s worth a shot just to see.. they aren’t that much money 

I'm not sure that I agree.  I do think that there's something to be said about people who are the "career daters" so to speak, where they seem to be on it forever.

Plenty of quality people use OLD, and if they're lucky enough they'll meet someone else of similar quality and thus, they will not frequent OLD sites for years on end.

[Trail Blazer]

My girlfriend's bestie found her now-husband on eHarmony.  They're both quality people who were looking for a long-lasting relationship.

I've used Match and did pay when I wanted to send my now ex-girlfriend a message.  That was a number of years ago.  I met my current girlfriend on Bumble.

I think it comes down to luck; being in the right place at the right time.  The right person for you could be on any number of paid or free dating apps.  Try them all and find out for yourself.

[d0nnivain]

1 hour ago, Trail Blazer said:

I think it comes down to luck; being in the right place at the right time.  

Exactly.  At the time I was on eHarmony my now husband was on Match & we were both outside of each other's age preferences so the algorithm on both sites would not have put us together.