Lovelorn_lady Posted August 23, 2021 Posted August 23, 2021 Me and my boyfriend are going away for the weekend. I made the hotel reservation. He offered to help with it. I turned it down and told him I appreciate it. I can take care of it and that I’m happy to pay for things, too. He has certainly paid for enough for me. He likes to help and to pay for things. This was a few hours ago and I haven’t heard from him since. I’m worried I offended him. Did I?
d0nnivain Posted August 23, 2021 Posted August 23, 2021 It's been a few hours. Calm down. You didn't offend him. I suppose it would have been more diplomatic for you to say "it's my turn to treat you for a change" or something like that rather than saying that you can "take care of it" which come across a bit like you are asserting your independence. Your statement that he "likes to pay for things" made me wonder how you know that. Be sure it's true & not that you are subconsciously telegraphing that you think he is required to pay because he's the guy. 4
Blind-Sided Posted August 23, 2021 Posted August 23, 2021 If he is a BF that you have known long enough to go away with... then a few hours of "radio silence" shouldn't rase a flag. As a guy.... there is no way I'm offended when my GF wants to pay for dinner, or whatever we are doing. We have been together for 1 1/2 years now... and we are at a point where it's 50:50. Actually... on our second date... she told me she was buying drinks... and I really thought that was great. Don't worry... Everything is fine. 3
ExpatInItaly Posted August 24, 2021 Posted August 24, 2021 I doubt he is offended. You need instead to ask yourself why you're this anxious. A few hours is nothing; maybe he's busy, napping, who knows. Why would you automatically assume he's upset with you? 2
Gaeta Posted August 24, 2021 Posted August 24, 2021 On 8/22/2021 at 11:39 PM, Lovelorn_lady said: I turned it down and told him I appreciate it. I can take care of it I agree with D0nnivain I think it's more about the tone you used then the fact you paid. It sounded like you were on the defensive with < I can take care of it >. Next time just say thanks for offering but let me treat you this time. 5
Lauriebell82 Posted August 25, 2021 Posted August 25, 2021 What are you so anxious about OP? Is this a newer relationship?
Alpacalia Posted August 26, 2021 Posted August 26, 2021 I agree with @Gaeta. I may have been like, "thank you sweetie, I can take care of it and that I’m happy to pay for things, too, my sexy-pookiepie-snookums. 1
Lotsgoingon Posted August 26, 2021 Posted August 26, 2021 If I had been your bf, I would have kissed you on the cheek and said a big "thank ya!" Relax. If this scares bf away, then he was the wrong guy to partner with in the first place. 2
Wiseman2 Posted August 26, 2021 Posted August 26, 2021 On 8/22/2021 at 11:39 PM, Lovelorn_lady said: . This was a few hours ago and I haven’t heard from him since. So? People don't always respond instantaneously. There's no problem with alternating treating each other. Unless you were trying to make some sort of point about separate hotel rooms?
smackie9 Posted August 26, 2021 Posted August 26, 2021 You should have said "Oh don't worry about it this time babe, you have been so good to me, this will be my treat." (smile)
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