ericw899 Posted August 23, 2021 Posted August 23, 2021 Hi there. I was out at the bar Friday night with a bunch of friends. I didn't have any intent to go but I changed my mind and went. I'm pretty quiet so I kept to myself and talked to some of the guys I was with. All of a sudden one of the guys I was with walks up and starts talking to these two girls like he knew them. Turns out he didn't so he passed them off to me and my other friend who's also shy to continue the conversation. So we started making small talk and all, then I asked if they wanted a drink in which they replied yes. So I got them drinks and I sat down next to the one. At this point my friend got bored and left me with both of them. So I kept talking to them, especially the one and we were flirting a lot. She kept smiling and she would turn away from me and then look back with a really big smile. She would then try and look away and try to act serious but I Saw her smiling. I then put my hand on her leg, which she seemed to like and then continued to stroke her hair and put my arm around her. She seemed really sweet and to like me, and her friend who was very protective of her seemed to like me too. When she went to the bathroom, I talked to her friend more and asked if it would be appropirate to ask for her number. She said she is seeing someone but not sure where it's headed and that I should get her number. So when she came back I asked her and she playfully wasn't going to give it to me, but then took my phone and typed her number. We also added each other on Facebook (which I really don't remember doing as I was drinking). Finally her and her friend said they were leaving, so I said good bye, and I went for a half kiss on the lips and cheek, so I settled on kissing her on the cheek (I know I should have went for it) So here is why I'm writing here. I've never done anything like this before. Pretty much first time I talked to a girl in the bar for an extended amount of time, and definitely the first number I got. So yesterday morning I text her saying "Hey this is blank, We met at the blank last night, I just want to see how you're doing this morning and that I had a great time," It's now been almost two days and no response. So what I'm wondering is why no response? I'll be honest, I didn't really expect one because I know these bar situations area dime a dozen, but where could I have improved to get that response and eventually a date? I also just remembered while writing this that she had a blocker on her phone for numbers she doesn't know. When I called she showed me my number, so maybe she didn't save the contact but the text got blocked? Honestly I'm not sure though as it did say delivered so maybe someone else would know better. Thank you for all help, everyone on here is always so great to me and at helping me out.
smackie9 Posted August 23, 2021 Posted August 23, 2021 (edited) Dude she's seeing someone..ya she liked the attention she was getting, but it doesn't mean she was so into you. It was an alcohol induced, feel good in the moment thing...and then the next day, sobered up she's dashed you out of her memory. Nothing went wrong...you talked to the wrong girl. You have to watch out for that S%^& Her and her friend got some free drinks and some compliments and that's all they were there for. BUT hats off to you to finally step out of your comfort zone. See it wasn't that bad was it? Stop hiding in your snail shell...oh and hit the dance floor when possible..that's how you can get laid. Edited August 23, 2021 by smackie9 1
spiderowl Posted August 23, 2021 Posted August 23, 2021 (edited) On just reading your initial message, OP, my thought train sort of went like this. It's nice that you got an unexpected opportunity to chat to these women. It seems you liked one of them more than the other. The one you liked was being friendly and, I would guess, must be pretty as she sounds used to male attention. She is used to being charming and not getting into difficult situations with men. That said, I am puzzled as to why you were stroking her leg? This is an invasion of privacy. I am surprised she did not back off and push your hand away. It's just not the done thing, even if a woman likes a guy and wants to carry on getting to know him. You just don't stroke a woman's leg unless maybe you have been dating for a while and are 'an item'. I don't think you did the wrong thing by not going for a kiss. I think it would have been inappropriate. You weren't on a date with her so why kiss her? It was a chance meeting. A kiss would be more appropriate say for a second date not a chance meeting. Yes, drunken people sometimes kiss at parties but most women I know would be wary of a guy who pushed things too fast. I would assume that she didn't see the same potential as you did, for whatever reason. Maybe she felt you were too forward, who knows? I don't think you should blow up her phone. Leave her to reply and, if she doesn't, move on. If a woman is not interested, there is no point keep pursuing her. All I would say is that next time, be polite, decent, caring - like you did in offering a drink, and keep your hands off her unless she actually becomes touchy-feely herself. Edited August 23, 2021 by spiderowl 1
Ami1uwant Posted August 23, 2021 Posted August 23, 2021 Assuming you were given her correct number…. She is dating someone else. If she had too much she’d likely back away from this.
glows Posted August 23, 2021 Posted August 23, 2021 1 hour ago, ericw899 said: It's now been almost two days and no response. So what I'm wondering is why no response? She may be seeing the other person and figuring out if he’s a match. She may contact you days or weeks or months from now - it doesn’t matter. Keep your expectations level. I read the evening as a fun one with a lot of flirting only but not going anywhere. Give it time. If she contacts you again, that’s fine but don’t wait for it and go out and meet other women.
ExpatInItaly Posted August 23, 2021 Posted August 23, 2021 She is seeing someone else. She may have gotten carried away with a couple drinks in her, but I don't think this is related to anything you did wrong in messaging her. It happens, and it just isn't the right circumstances.
Miss Spider Posted August 23, 2021 Posted August 23, 2021 (edited) She’s seeing someone I know that raises the question why she spent all night flirting with you, but some people just love that validation too much esp when drinking Edited August 23, 2021 by Cookiesandough
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