TheDiva Posted October 21, 2005 Posted October 21, 2005 Have anyone married their OM? If so, did the marriage work or did it end up in divorce. My OM divorced his wife and has asked me to marry him. I accepted his proposal. However, my friends are telling me the marriage will not last because we had an affair. I am trying to find out how many marriages lasted as a result of an affair. I trust him and do not believe he will cheat on me. Gigi Sadly I can tell you of four instances of which cheat partners married/almost married. Couple number 1- She cheated with him, on his OW, and she was dating one of his best friends, they are together still but cheat on each other. Couple number 2- She did everything to get him from the wife, they are together still, and he has cheated repeatedly within the 3 years they have been married. Couple number 3- Cheated together, he divorced, she left her marriage, then went back to her husband after being married to OM for about 2 years. Couple number 4- He cheated, left his wife for her, they married and enjoyed 6 1/2 months of wedded bliss, when she divorced him for her current husband. Gosh when I put it this way it makes all these people seem bad people. But I do know all these people to varied degrees. They are not bad people! But using this I would say chances for the two of you to make it don't look so good. I don't know your situation, so maybe you should pick one of your closest of friends to listen to.You know the friend that would take your keys when you were drunk, or be sitting next to you in the jail cell conspiring a way to keep from get caught next time... IMHO- the fact that you posted this, means that this is more of a concern to you than you let on with the last line. You don't really fully trust him do you? Good Luck either way, Diva
whichwayisup Posted October 21, 2005 Posted October 21, 2005 This is odd, because for some reason I thought whichwayisup was a man involved with an OW..? Hey I really have been reading too much here! Sorry I, too, would agree that getting an OW out of a negative situation would be something I'd aim for. 'Is it worth all that pain and suffering?' ... I'd have to ask, is what? Not sure what you're asking here. Oh Sami, you just made me laugh...Obviously you don't read and post much in other sections of LS...You'd know I was a woman. My question, I meant was, you being an exOW, all the pain and suffering. To go through all of it, was it worth it? I'm still chuckling because I guess I've not ever had anybody on LS think I'm male...I figured the way I write and put myself out there it's obvious I'm a woman!
Sami_D Posted October 21, 2005 Posted October 21, 2005 Well, unless I'm going nuts... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=39037
whichwayisup Posted October 21, 2005 Posted October 21, 2005 LOL holy s***, that ain't me. I joined July 2004...Freaky freaky freaky! I just picked WWIU cuz it popped into my head at the time of signing up here. Wow, that is totally freakin' me out and now I get why you thought I was a guy!
Sami_D Posted October 21, 2005 Posted October 21, 2005 Hey... that is totally freaky! Well I have been spending a lot of time reading on this forum. And yeah, I did get the two of you confused. Sorry about that!
whichwayisup Posted October 21, 2005 Posted October 21, 2005 That's okay and totally understandable. Man, I'm still freaked out!
Sami_D Posted October 21, 2005 Posted October 21, 2005 Yeah, well actually when I read you on this forum at first, I thought... woman... then, I read the whole site for insight, and found that same name and thought... ahhh... then came back and well... ... you know though actually I don't think it matters so much. We all have these lives and situations to live out... who knows who is right. Sorry that I made a mistake in knowing you and who you are, tho! x
liswil Posted October 22, 2005 Posted October 22, 2005 Will a man cheat on you? once he has left his wife for you? Yes he will. Why? Because he lacks impulse control, has intimacy problems, and is immature. See when feelings get uncomfortable with the wife- he goes outside his relationship for that QUICK FIX- the gratification, the rush, the adrenalin, that having a romantic encounter brings. And when it feels good, we want to do it over and over again. So will he cheat? yes he will, unless he has undergone counseling and is willing to look at himself to stop the behavior. I can really relate to what you've said with my situation. However, I don't really think the counseling always works.
liswil Posted October 22, 2005 Posted October 22, 2005 Sami, I agree with the "sometimes people are cheats, sometimes people cheat" theory. i think that if we were talking about a MW who cheated because she was not getting the love/affection from her H then people would be more sympathetic and not label her as a "serial cheater". but in most of the posts on this forum we talk about how a MM will cheat over and over and any OW would be a fool to marry him. while i agree that is the case SOME of the time, i do not think it is always the case. people/situations, for the most part, are not that black and white. I agree with this --they might not cheat again----BUT---will they change lying or deceiving??? They might not cheat again, but I don't think the lying or deceiving is going to be different.
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