Alvi Posted August 21, 2021 Posted August 21, 2021 I was talking to this guy for the last ten or so days. On Wednesday, he scheduled a date for us. Actually it was pretty refreshing that a guy could come up with a specific time, date and a place for us to meet. I am the one usually chasing up men and making all the arrangements. I basically have zero luck with the men. But I haven't heard from his since the Wednesday evening. He told me that he would see me on Saturday (today) and that was it. I didn't text him because I didn't want to appear to be clingy. Should I message him to confirm the date? Do I even have a date? HELP!
Author Alvi Posted August 21, 2021 Author Posted August 21, 2021 OK, I just received a text from him saying that he is looking forward meeting me. OK, I am officially a nervous wreck now. He seems so nice. But I know that nothing is real till you meet.
glows Posted August 21, 2021 Posted August 21, 2021 (edited) Some people text beforehand to make sure the date is still on and others don’t. I’m one of those who doesn’t like being asked if a date is still on. I hope you have fun and enjoy. Don’t worry about being nervous. I’m sure it’ll melt away once you get chatting. Edited August 21, 2021 by glows 1
d0nnivain Posted August 21, 2021 Posted August 21, 2021 36 minutes ago, Alvi said: OK, I just received a text from him saying that he is looking forward meeting me. OK, I am officially a nervous wreck now. He seems so nice. But I know that nothing is real till you meet. Calm yourself. You need not be nervous. You now know him to at least be a man of his word. He scheduled the date -- on a Saturday night no less, prime dating time -- and followed up to confirm. He appears to be interested. Take a few calming breaths, pick out a nice outfit appropriate for whatever you are doing & enjoy the ritual of primping for a fun evening. Don't go in with too many expectations. Plan to have fun. Keep any alcohol consumption to a minimum. Be prepared to pay for the whole date if necessary & make sure you have a safe way to get home by yourself without relying on him. Then go have fun. 1
Happy Lemming Posted August 21, 2021 Posted August 21, 2021 1 hour ago, glows said: Some people text beforehand to make sure the date is still on and others don’t. I’m one of those who doesn’t like being asked if a date is still on. Along the same lines, I don't text/call to confirm a date. If I called on Wednesday or Thursday for a date on the weekend... all good. We are all adults and if I gave you my word I'd be someplace or pick you up, I'll be there. It's on my calendar, I don't need a reminder call or text, nor am I going to send one. In all of my many years of dating, I've only had one woman forget we had a date. I knocked on her door and she was relaxing watching TV. She had a very bad day at work and had completely forgotten about our (Friday night) dinner date. She had already made herself some dinner. So to salvage the date, I asked if she wanted to go out for ice cream for dessert. This was met with a HUGE smile and a big YES! So she threw on some jeans and a shirt and we went and got ice cream. 5
Author Alvi Posted August 21, 2021 Author Posted August 21, 2021 He just texted that he is running a bit late. So instead of 7pm we are going to meet at 7:30. Is it bad? What if he doesn't show up at all? I mean, if you made a commitment, why reschedule it to a later time?
Author Alvi Posted August 21, 2021 Author Posted August 21, 2021 OK, now it is 7:45. I am thinking about canceling the whole thing all together.
glows Posted August 21, 2021 Posted August 21, 2021 (edited) I’m sorry. 45 min is quite late. Did he provide a reason? Are you already there where you’re supposed to meet? Edited August 21, 2021 by glows 1
Author Alvi Posted August 21, 2021 Author Posted August 21, 2021 Do you think I should cancel it. I mean if you make a plan why not to stick to it. Story of my life. I knew if something too good to be true it is usually is.
glows Posted August 21, 2021 Posted August 21, 2021 Canceling is up to you but 45 min later would not be a big deal for me if I knew earlier in the day. If you have other things to do later on, reschedule for another day. If you don’t want to meet him at all, then cancel it. 1
Author Alvi Posted August 21, 2021 Author Posted August 21, 2021 4 minutes ago, glows said: Canceling is up to you but 45 min later would not be a big deal for me if I knew earlier in the day. If you have other things to do later on, reschedule for another day. If you don’t want to meet him at all, then cancel it. I left my friends so that I could go home and get ready for a date. Could've stayed longer if I knew way ahead. Now I am just stuck home for the evening or so it appears. Not very considerate for sure. Still don't know what I am going to do. 1
Happy Lemming Posted August 21, 2021 Posted August 21, 2021 12 minutes ago, glows said: I’m sorry. 45 min is quite late. Did he provide a reason? Are you already there where you’re supposed to meet? I'm willing to wait up to 30 minutes... past that is unacceptable. I do remember (many years ago) I was supposed to meet this woman (that I had been on a few dates with) at this wine bar (not my cup of tea - to begin with). After she was 30 minutes late, I left to find a bar that had Guinness. I did text her and informed her that I left. 1
Author Alvi Posted August 21, 2021 Author Posted August 21, 2021 19 minutes ago, glows said: I’m sorry. 45 min is quite late. Did he provide a reason? Are you already there where you’re supposed to meet? No, I am at home. He just said that he is running late. Anyway, I did cancel it. So this is it. Another disappointment.
glows Posted August 22, 2021 Posted August 22, 2021 7 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said: I'm willing to wait up to 30 minutes... past that is unacceptable. I do remember (many years ago) I was supposed to meet this woman (that I had been on a few dates with) at this wine bar (not my cup of tea - to begin with). After she was 30 minutes late, I left to find a bar that had Guinness. I did text her and informed her that I left. That’s very civil to inform her. Guinness is better than wine any day. 1
glows Posted August 22, 2021 Posted August 22, 2021 4 minutes ago, Alvi said: No, I am at home. He just said that he is running late. Anyway, I did cancel it. So this is it. Another disappointment. Can you meet with your friends? Forget him.
Author Alvi Posted August 22, 2021 Author Posted August 22, 2021 1 minute ago, glows said: Can you meet with your friends? Forget him. Yes, I did phone them. They are still. out so I am going to meet with them now. Oh well, life goes on. Bummer, lol. But on the other hand, maybe I have avoided some red flag. 2
Happy Lemming Posted August 22, 2021 Posted August 22, 2021 @Alvi There really isn't any reason for a guy to be late to a date. If I was meeting someone at a location, I'd always arrive 15 minutes early. I made the date, I set the time and place. I know how to get there and how long it will take me to drive there. In my opinion, there is no excuse for being late. 2
Author Alvi Posted August 22, 2021 Author Posted August 22, 2021 4 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said: @Alvi There really isn't any reason for a guy to be late to a date. If I was meeting someone at a location, I'd always arrive 15 minutes early. I made the date, I set the time and place. I know how to get there and how long it will take me to drive there. In my opinion, there is no excuse for being late. Thanks for your kind words. Yes, no reason. I mean if something came up like his kid got sick, I could understand that. But he has no kids, lol. And it is Saturday, his day off. So no reason really to be late. I am very punctual myself. Just guessing he is wasn't that keen on meeting me.
glows Posted August 22, 2021 Posted August 22, 2021 I’m glad you cancelled. You already sound so much happier. Go out and have fun with your friends.
Miss Spider Posted August 22, 2021 Posted August 22, 2021 Depending on his age especially, not hearing from him for a confirm is actually kind of a red flag. Usually guys want to confirm you’re still on Bc they’re keen to meet you., it’s a messed up world we live in but chicks be flaky these days
AnnK Posted August 22, 2021 Posted August 22, 2021 Being out with friends is the better way to go anyway...I've been stood up on several occasions, and thus refused to see the person again.
FudgeSwirl Posted August 22, 2021 Posted August 22, 2021 I'm really sorry about how things turned out tonight. There was nothing wrong with him communicating with you that he could meet you at 7:30 instead of 7 but it was inconsiderate to keep you waiting with no explanation beyond 7:30. In the future if the guy does not confirm the date in anyway there is nothing wrong with shooting a text the day of such as, depending on whether or not you have had communication since setting up the date: See you at ________ tonight! Of course not all people are the same in terms of communication but most men I know have always confirmed the date somehow or shot a text to let me know they were on their way to where the date was. Also it's okay to be nervous about a first date especially if it is someone you met on the Internet but the most important thing to remember is to not set the bar high, just have fun, and get to know the person. If the date ends up being a dud, remember that you will just go on to have a better first date with someone else.
d0nnivain Posted August 22, 2021 Posted August 22, 2021 2 hours ago, Alvi said: No, I am at home. He just said that he is running late. Anyway, I did cancel it. So this is it. Another disappointment. 2 hours ago, Alvi said: Yes, I did phone them. They are still. out so I am going to meet with them now. Oh well, life goes on. Bummer, lol. But on the other hand, maybe I have avoided some red flag. So sorry he turned out to be a flake. Glad you were able to reconnect with friends & salvage your night. This is why I would never accept a date on a Saturday night. If somebody wastes my Tuesday oh well. Messing with my weekend. . . not cool. 2
sushiandtacos Posted August 22, 2021 Posted August 22, 2021 Did he ever give an explanation of why he ran late besides the first one he sent? 1
ExpatInItaly Posted August 22, 2021 Posted August 22, 2021 3 hours ago, sushiandtacos said: Did he ever give an explanation of why he ran late besides the first one he sent? I was wondering the same thing. 1
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