Concernedaboutthings Posted August 21, 2021 Posted August 21, 2021 dating the best friend of my ex - my ex has been with another person for 2 years and is happy. His best friend is a nice guy but I'm not sure if where it may go. Should I stop seeing him bc he is almost ready to tell his friend and he is very interested in me - I think more than I'm interested in him at this time - I was going to tell him I need to slow things down (he wants to see me a few times a week) - he is lonely after his 2nd divorce but I don't want anything intense right now and I don't want to jeopardize his relationship with his good friend. they've been friends over 50 years. What is the right thing to do?
Gaeta Posted August 21, 2021 Posted August 21, 2021 You have 2 issues here. A. He's coming on too strong too fast after a 2nd divorce. That has 'rebound' written all over it. You need that conversation with him. B. Him being a friend of your ex doesn't matter to me at the age we're at. You're all adults, If you and your ex have no bad blood then I don't see the problem in dating him. His friendship with your ex is HIS problem, not yours. Do not deside for him if his friendship is at risk, or has a bigger value than a relationship with you. That's his to decide. 1
Author Concernedaboutthings Posted August 21, 2021 Author Posted August 21, 2021 thanks. He also has some of the same mannerisms as my ex - the way he puts his hand on my shoulder and some of his facial expressions.
d0nnivain Posted August 21, 2021 Posted August 21, 2021 Are you willing to socialize with your new BFs best friend, your EX? How will that be handled? If everybody can be civil, I see no problem for mature adults. It does seem like your new guy is a bit too eager to be coupled up.
glows Posted August 21, 2021 Posted August 21, 2021 2 hours ago, Concernedaboutthings said: thanks. He also has some of the same mannerisms as my ex - the way he puts his hand on my shoulder and some of his facial expressions. It sounds like you’re holding back because it feels weird. He has similar mannerisms to your ex. You haven’t said much about him as a person. Are you only interested because he’s showing interest in you or are you interested in him, as in him as a human being with all his quirks and interests? He could be a convenient choice for you or someone familiar. Tell him how you feel but most of all I think you need to decide on whether you like him enough to keep pursuing this.
Wiseman2 Posted August 21, 2021 Posted August 21, 2021 7 hours ago, Concernedaboutthings said: -he is almost ready to tell his friend and he is very interested in me - he is lonely after his 2nd divorce but I don't want anything intense right now and I don't want to jeopardize his relationship with his good friend. Good idea to slow things down. A few red flags. 1. Why does he need to kiss and tell? Do you want your relationship shared with your ex play-by-play? 2. Two divorces and he seems to be on the rebound and desperate.
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