Author Alpacalia Posted August 20, 2021 Author Posted August 20, 2021 1 hour ago, Prudence V said: At least until you get home (yours or theirs). Best not to get arrested for public indecency.
Lotsgoingon Posted August 21, 2021 Posted August 21, 2021 I think you can tell sexual chemistry simply by kissing and making out. Make out with someone, clothes do not have to come off, and you can feel chemistry or not. I'm thinking back to the gorgeous woman I did not have great sexual chemistry--the dull kissing was the sign. In making out, you'll learn all the same things about chemistry that you would learn through sex. You'll hear how they react, how they sound, how they moan, whether we excite them or not, whether they excite us, how they like our touch, how we like their touch--all of that you can get from making out with clothes on--maybe peeling off a shirt or two. 1
Author Alpacalia Posted August 21, 2021 Author Posted August 21, 2021 2 hours ago, Lotsgoingon said: In making out, you'll learn all the same things about chemistry that you would learn through sex. You'll hear how they react, how they sound, how they moan, whether we excite them or not, whether they excite us, how they like our touch, how we like their touch--all of that you can get from making out with clothes on--maybe peeling off a shirt or two. Yes. I think this is the best place for me right now emotionally. Plus, making out is so much fun. 1
glows Posted August 21, 2021 Posted August 21, 2021 On 8/19/2021 at 4:52 PM, Alpaca said: There's been a lot of talk lately and it got me thinking... What is the best time to have sexual intercourse while you're dating someone fresh (assuming you don't want it to wind up in the casual file)? A lot of people say that you should wait to be exclusive first but is that really necessary? If so, why? I don’t think it matters. Sincerity does matter to me however so if there isn’t enough of that it’s an automatic pass/not interested. It doesn’t matter who that person is or how attractive that person is.
Author Alpacalia Posted August 21, 2021 Author Posted August 21, 2021 (edited) 5 minutes ago, glows said: I don’t think it matters. Sincerity does matter to me however so if there isn’t enough of that it’s an automatic pass/not interested. It doesn’t matter who that person is or how attractive that person is. I tend to agree. That's why I think holding off is sometimes the better option. At least, until you're emotionally ready. Edited August 21, 2021 by Alpaca 1
Gaeta Posted August 21, 2021 Posted August 21, 2021 Being emotionally ready is a woman thing and something working against us. If we wait till we are emotionally ready then we will experience a bigger disappointment if the intimicy is disappointing or completely unsatisfying. I understand waiting a bit but it's more to assess if the man seems genuine, not to develop feelings. (I use the word 'seems' as true genuinity isn's calculated in a few dates not even 10 dates) As for the make-out intensity being an indication of how it will be in bed.....hhmmmm not sure. I've had some steaming make-out leading to bed to then discover a micro-p. I can't imagine having invested 10-12 dates and then being let down like this. Call me shallow I'm not a woman that could be happy with that situation. In his case he married the woman right after me so everything else was good enough for her. 1
Author Alpacalia Posted August 21, 2021 Author Posted August 21, 2021 1 hour ago, Gaeta said: Being emotionally ready is a woman thing and something working against us. If we wait till we are emotionally ready then we will experience a bigger disappointment if the intimicy is disappointing or completely unsatisfying. I understand waiting a bit but it's more to assess if the man seems genuine, not to develop feelings. (I use the word 'seems' as true genuinity isn's calculated in a few dates not even 10 dates) As for the make-out intensity being an indication of how it will be in bed.....hhmmmm not sure. I've had some steaming make-out leading to bed to then discover a micro-p. I can't imagine having invested 10-12 dates and then being let down like this. Call me shallow I'm not a woman that could be happy with that situation. In his case he married the woman right after me so everything else was good enough for her. Thanks Gaeta! Yes. And I tend to believe that being emotionally prepared with a certain individual can include all of the things you mentioned as well as being aware of where the other person is physically and emotionally. It definitely takes some time to figure out if you can trust someone and feel physically and emotionally secure with them. Granted there are times when you're looking for a quick thing never wanting to see one another again which can work out just fine in some cases.
Lotsgoingon Posted August 21, 2021 Posted August 21, 2021 10 hours ago, Gaeta said: I've had some steaming make-out leading to bed to then discover a micro-p. I can't imagine having invested 10-12 dates and then being let down like this. Wow @GaetaI absolutely never thought of this issue. Wow! So how about making out and insisting on a peek at the male thing?! I'm having joking, half not. 1
Author Alpacalia Posted August 21, 2021 Author Posted August 21, 2021 Peek a boo. I see you. What do you see? A micro wee wee. (alright, I've had too much coffee) 1
sushiandtacos Posted August 21, 2021 Posted August 21, 2021 3-4 dates but my friend just married a guy who she slept with on the first date lol. But recently came across a guy who wanted to wait until marriage which was a first for me 1
glows Posted August 21, 2021 Posted August 21, 2021 I don’t think any of this has to do with gender. Sexual chemistry is felt without sex. You don’t actually have to undress to feel it let alone touch each other. If there’s willingness to please one another everything falls into place and can be improved. 2
Lotsgoingon Posted August 21, 2021 Posted August 21, 2021 In my experience (and in hearing stories from others) I don't think first sex solves anything. So there's no rush. Good sex might confirm that you're on the right path. But I think it's fine to wait to have sex until you are strongly confident you want to seriously date this person--and they you! Both sides need to be in place. People have fantastic sex all the time that does nothing to clarify their feelings or solidify their commitment or desire for the other person. 2 1
Author Alpacalia Posted August 21, 2021 Author Posted August 21, 2021 14 minutes ago, glows said: I don’t think any of this has to do with gender. Sexual chemistry is felt without sex. You don’t actually have to undress to feel it let alone touch each other. If there’s willingness to please one another everything falls into place and can be improved. I've had varied degrees of chemistry with males, with some being stronger than others. It's a tingly warm sensation, like your limbs and body are heating up around them, and you want to drink them in. It got to be almost painful after a certain amount of time. 1
AnnK Posted August 22, 2021 Posted August 22, 2021 Well...Only YOU can answer how long should YOU wait to sleep with someone. It's different for everyone. 1
FudgeSwirl Posted August 22, 2021 Posted August 22, 2021 There are no set amount of dates to have before a first sexual encounter like that silly unwritten rule about sex after three dates. It has a lot to do with your connection with the person as well as being ready. Some people can feel that right away and will in fact have sex after a couple of dates while others won't feel the time is right until dating for a while. There are some people that will not engage in sex until they are "official," but that's more of a personal rule just like anybody who waits until marriage rather than using feelings to determine when sex feels right. 2 1
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