Author sushiandtacos Posted August 18, 2021 Author Posted August 18, 2021 13 minutes ago, GeorgiaPeach1 said: It seems like you're hurt because he was able to resist you sexually, and stick to his values. A lot of men cannot as easily do this. I'm more upset bc I was beginning to open up and starting to have feelings until he had this sudden shift after an almost sex situation
Miss Spider Posted August 18, 2021 Posted August 18, 2021 Just now, sushiandtacos said: I don't get this as well. One girl I know has had sex via "God's blindspot" but still calls herself a virgin bc hasn't done PIV .... 1
Author sushiandtacos Posted August 18, 2021 Author Posted August 18, 2021 The more I'm thinking about this guys, the more I feel judged by him for being willing to have sex during the dating/talking stage. Especially when he said he wants something long term after getting off the bed making it seem like/assuming I don't want something serious bc I'm more open to "premarital sex" lol
Miss Spider Posted August 18, 2021 Posted August 18, 2021 (edited) Who cares what he thinks, sushi. He sounds like a giant weirdo anyway (and not in a good way ) Edited August 18, 2021 by Cookiesandough 3 1
princessaurora Posted August 18, 2021 Posted August 18, 2021 (edited) Not trying to sound like a guy, but when you invited him up he should have known getting at least somewhat physical was a possibility. So don't lose any sleep over what he thinks. It's not worth a single breath. Edited August 18, 2021 by princessaurora Spelling 1 1
Author sushiandtacos Posted August 18, 2021 Author Posted August 18, 2021 4 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said: Who cares what he thinks, sushi. He sounds like a giant weirdo anyway (and not in a good way ) Just now, princessaurora said: Not trying to sound like a guy, but when you invited him up he should have known getting at least somewhat physical was a possibility. So don't lose any sleep over what he thinks. It's not worry a single breath. Thanks you guys Very true
d0nnivain Posted August 18, 2021 Posted August 18, 2021 23 minutes ago, sushiandtacos said: The more I'm thinking about this guys, the more I feel judged by him for being willing to have sex during the dating/talking stage. Especially when he said he wants something long term after getting off the bed making it seem like/assuming I don't want something serious bc I'm more open to "premarital sex" he wasn't judging you as much as he was feeling judged / pressure by you to go against his values. You two are not compatible. 1
Author sushiandtacos Posted August 18, 2021 Author Posted August 18, 2021 3 minutes ago, d0nnivain said: he wasn't judging you as much as he was feeling judged / pressure by you to go against his values. You two are not compatible. That's another thing, I definitely did not want to make him feel pressured or do anything he felt uncomfortable doing. I figured he'd be ready bc he asked to be official a few weeks back and bc he initiated the physical stuff that night too. So when he said he's never done this before while doing these things I immediately stopped everything
Wiseman2 Posted August 18, 2021 Posted August 18, 2021 34 minutes ago, sushiandtacos said: I'm more open to "premarital sex" But that what he's hoping for. You're not compatible and he has too many insecurities/hang-ups. 2
d0nnivain Posted August 18, 2021 Posted August 18, 2021 he just chickened out. It really wasn't about you. He probably thought he was ready but he wasn't & things got all awkward when you stopped everything. He was fine up to a point but then then he panicked after you learned his secret. Just let him go find somebody on his level. 1
stillafool Posted August 18, 2021 Posted August 18, 2021 (edited) 27 minutes ago, d0nnivain said: He probably thought he was ready but he wasn't & things got all awkward Yeah this is what I think happened. It sounds like he thought you were turning up your nose at his virginity. Like you are used to guys who can bring it which says you're experienced with sex. Edited August 18, 2021 by stillafool
JRabbit Posted August 19, 2021 Posted August 19, 2021 18 hours ago, sushiandtacos said: The more I'm thinking about this guys, the more I feel judged by him for being willing to have sex during the dating/talking stage. Especially when he said he wants something long term after getting off the bed making it seem like/assuming I don't want something serious bc I'm more open to "premarital sex" lol I seriously doubt he was judging you. Just because someone gets turned off or isn't interested doesn't mean he is judging. You aren't compatible and now you want what you can't have. It's classic.
Author sushiandtacos Posted August 19, 2021 Author Posted August 19, 2021 1 hour ago, JRabbit said: I seriously doubt he was judging you. Just because someone gets turned off or isn't interested doesn't mean he is judging. You aren't compatible and now you want what you can't have. It's classic. Why would he get turned off you think after that?
Miss Spider Posted August 19, 2021 Posted August 19, 2021 (edited) Maybe he was judging about the bj. I can see a person with hypocrisy to not consider a bj “sex” judging a person who gives them even though they receive them. It’s not exactly rational, but I don’t see much rational with this person, All kinds of confusion come with these sorts of religious beliefs. you could embody temptation into his carnal desires. lol. These are all guesses though. “Incompatible” is a wide scope. Could be anything, literally. I understand the exact ‘why’ can give some people slightly more closer, but tbh , sometimes the person doesn’t even know why or how to articulate it appropriately/kindly Quit thinking so much haha Edited August 19, 2021 by Cookiesandough
Author sushiandtacos Posted August 19, 2021 Author Posted August 19, 2021 4 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said: Quit thinking so much haha You right you right
spiderowl Posted August 21, 2021 Posted August 21, 2021 On 8/18/2021 at 4:08 AM, S2B said: Sounds like he doesn’t intend to date around. He may want a serious relationship and realized you weren’t wanting the same thing right now. next…. I think this ^ too, but would add that he was expecting commitment very soon and that, out of a religious community context, he might find himself in this same situation again. I think he wanted to be sure you weren't sleeping around and you not wanting to make it official so soon led him to think that maybe you were ok with seeing other guys apart from him. I am not suggesting you were, just looking at how someone brought up in a religion and quite naive too might be thinking. Most guys want sexual exclusivity and some guys want a serious relationship. Maybe he hasn't got as far as understanding the two are not necessarily tied together. 1
Author sushiandtacos Posted August 21, 2021 Author Posted August 21, 2021 17 hours ago, spiderowl said: I think this ^ too, but would add that he was expecting commitment very soon and that, out of a religious community context, he might find himself in this same situation again. I think he wanted to be sure you weren't sleeping around and you not wanting to make it official so soon led him to think that maybe you were ok with seeing other guys apart from him. I am not suggesting you were, just looking at how someone brought up in a religion and quite naive too might be thinking. Most guys want sexual exclusivity and some guys want a serious relationship. Maybe he hasn't got as far as understanding the two are not necessarily tied together. Yeah I think you are right, except that most guys that I know want to sleep with someone prior to committing lol
glows Posted August 21, 2021 Posted August 21, 2021 It’s a bit too early to presume anything and he ended it abruptly. Everyone is judging when dating. That’s what dating is: one judgment call after another and using your discretion. Don’t shy away from it, keep your filters on too and give yourself a pat on the back for seeing those red flags at the start. 1 1
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