My New Purpose

[poppyfields]

Hey guys!

So after much thought and discussion with family (older brother) and a little bit with boyfriend (who is a lawyer), I've decided to not become a lawyer and drop out of curriculum starting next week, and receive pro-rata tuition reimbursement which is fine.

Reason being, the law, especially criminal, but the entire legal field really, is too cut throat, dog-eat-dog and harsh for me, I'm not cut out for it.

Even while working as a paralegal, I'd work on some cases that had almost a visceral effect on me, and I would become quite emotional, even sometimes feeling physically sick! 

Combined with the aggressive nature of district attorneys and/or opposing counsel, it would really get to me. In truth I think I was idealizing it and had not thought it through thoroughly enough. . 

My purpose lies somewhere else.

I have my BA and can get an MS in addiction/mental health counseling on line.

The programs vary including how long; the program I am interested in is 18 months, that sure beats four years of law school!  

I have worked with rape victims (survivors as I call them) and victims/survivors of domestic violence (mental/emotional mostly) in the past as a volunteer and truly believe I have a lot to offer. 

Not through direct experience, but a natural gift and intuitive ability to know how to prevent from escalating and/or walking away if necessary. And also by reading books and learning on my own.

I have been exposed to it in a couple of relationships and those tools served me quite well.  And am just really excited about this decision and new direction and feel good about it! 

Bye bye to law school and being a lawyer.  Hello to my new purpose!

Thanks guys for listening and allowing me a safe place to share my news.

Thoughts and opinions welcome! 💛

[FMW]

Corporate legal departments might have been a good option for you if you like law but want a more relaxed environment.  But since you were interested in criminal law, it might not have held any interest for you.

I'm in a corporate setting.  I worked several years in both small and large firms, but mostly civil law.  Corporate has been much less stressful, but also has less excitement. 

[poppyfields]

11 minutes ago, FMW said:

Corporate legal departments might have been a good option for you if you like law but want a more relaxed environment.  But since you were interested in criminal law, it might not have held any interest for you.

I'm in a corporate setting.  I worked several years in both small and large firms, but mostly civil law.  Corporate has been much less stressful, but also has less excitement. 

Thanks FMW, but absolutely zero interest in corporate law, yawn.

My purpose was doing good, defending the innocent from the cut throat and often devious tactics of district attorneys to secure a conviction. 

But after talking and thinking it through, not sure that would have been possible and I was idealizing it.

This new purpose, like I said, I have worked with domestic violence victims /survivors as a volunteer in the past and enjoyed helping in that way.

With a degree, I could actually counsel and help on a higher level. 

Monetarily, the pay isn't great, but fortunately I'm set so that is not a concern.

Edited August 15, 2021 by poppyfields

[Wiseman2]

Congrats. Best to follow your dream .  Legal experience is always a great background because it's a stark window into human nature.

[poppyfields]

1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said:

Congrats. Best to follow your dream .  Legal experience is always a great background because it's a stark window into human nature.

Thanks Wise!  My legal experience will help with navigating the court system relating to TRO's and the like too.

My brother said something too that I had forgotten.

While growing up, my dad (now late dad) always encouraged me to give back, through some sort of social work or humanitarian work. 

He always said I had a lot to offer.  My brother remembered this as well, like at the dinner table, he would discuss it. 

But my heart (at the time) was into being a dancer and I took dance classes starting in 5th grade and continued through high school and beyond. 

Moved to NYC, rented a TINY third floor walk-up and continued with both dance and acting classes. 

But that whole world (entertainment industry) was CRAZY, that is when I started to develop an eating disorder too for those who know my history. 

After a few years of that utter insanity, I decided I needed to eat, lol so started taking legal classes and follow in my dad's footsteps even though he discouraged me from it as he told me even back then how dog-eat-dog it was, dealing with other attorneys, judges, etc.. 

So now he's gone and I'm finally understanding what he meant.  And remembering what he said about giving back, helping the underprivileged or in some other capacity. 

I think he would be very happy and proud knowing this is my new purpose, maybe wherever he is, he is proud. 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited August 15, 2021 by poppyfields

[Calmandfocused]

Here in the U.K. (I can’t speak for the US- I’ve no idea) there has been A LOT of funding and resources pumped into helping victims of domestic violence and abuse. Also in the field of mental health generally. 
 

I personally had therapy by an abuse specialist counsellor. To tell you the truth it was handed to me on a plate. My ex was already in the service- they ran a “perpetrator of abuse” programme and they offered support to the current or ex spouses/ partners (the victims) as part of the deal. It was a fantastic service. They carried on working with me long after I gave him the boot. 
 

Im a qualified mental health practitioner. I won’t say exactly as I don’t want to disclose my identify but I can tell you that getting in is very competitive. It’s an area of interest for a lot of people. 
 

To get where I am now I had to work in some very poorly paid positions, just to get my foot in the door. Unfortunately mental health is an area that is also cut throat and many can’t hack it. That’s not to say that you can’t but it’s just something to think about it. 
 

You’ll need the qualifications and the experience. 
 

hope that helps
 

 

[Alpacalia]

That's great.

You're fortunate to have discovered that a different career path would be more suitable for you.

After practicing for a few years, a family member disliked business law and changed careers altogether. But it all worked out since she was able to apply her corporate legal skills to her new position. My father has a masters in Math and after teaching for a few years decided it wasn't for him. 😬

Any who, I wish you the best of luck with it.

And, I'm sure your father is watching over you and is very proud of you.

[Blind-Sided]

Congrats.

I have 2 buddies in those fields. (Sort of)  One of them is one of my female friends who helped me along when I was going though my D.  She works for the VA and deals with solders who have PTSD.  She finds the work very rewarding... but stressful since she feels like she takes some of their burden. 

My other buddy works for CYS, and was actually the local agent who would come to my kid's school.  Every once in a while my kids would come home and say.... "I saw Mr xxx at the office."  

I think the work they do is very important, and very helpful to a lot of people.

With that said.....................

Since you want to work for the abuse centers... please don't automatically believe the person calming to be abused.  Keep an open mind, and do your own research.  The reason I say this is... my exW went to the local abuse center, and tried to hang an abuse charge on me. She did this to get free help, and to try to get my kids taken away.  In the 20 years we were together, I never touched her or threatened her.  AND, I never hit the kids past what would be deemed "Normal" for discipline.  (open hand, or wooden spoon on their butt)   But because of where she went, I fought an uphill battle.  But I was fortunate that I personally knew the local CYS person, and he knew me longer than my kids were alive.  My final way to fight what was happening to me was to hire a lawyer that also worked at this abuse center, and give her open access to my criminal record, and the kid's medical records. (all perfectly clean)  

But once again... congrats on your new direction. 

[ThePhoenixStillRises]

Good for you, @poppyfields!  The field that you are talking about is one that I think is becoming more necessary.  I wish that more people realized and accepted that mental and emotional abuse in a relationship and even a family is a real thing and at times can be even worse than physical abuse (especially some of the members here).  Good luck on your new career path!  

[d0nnivain]

Law is not for everyone.  Glad you realized that before you wasted umpteen dollars & your mental health.  Best wishes on your new path.  

[poppyfields]

9 hours ago, Calmandfocused said:

Here in the U.K. (I can’t speak for the US- I’ve no idea) there has been A LOT of funding and resources pumped into helping victims of domestic violence and abuse. Also in the field of mental health generally. 
 

I personally had therapy by an abuse specialist counsellor. To tell you the truth it was handed to me on a plate. My ex was already in the service- they ran a “perpetrator of abuse” programme and they offered support to the current or ex spouses/ partners (the victims) as part of the deal. It was a fantastic service. They carried on working with me long after I gave him the boot. 
 

Im a qualified mental health practitioner. I won’t say exactly as I don’t want to disclose my identify but I can tell you that getting in is very competitive. It’s an area of interest for a lot of people. 
 

To get where I am now I had to work in some very poorly paid positions, just to get my foot in the door. Unfortunately mental health is an area that is also cut throat and many can’t hack it. That’s not to say that you can’t but it’s just something to think about it. 
 

You’ll need the qualifications and the experience. 
 

hope that helps

First off, thank you to everyone who chimed in!  Much appreciated.  I wanted to specifically address Calm's post though.

I know it's a tough profession, and quite competitive and I am willing to start at bottom and work my way up.  I am also a pretty tough cookie, strong when I need to be.  And like I said, I have volunteered in the profession and I felt frustrated that I couldn't do more because I did not have the credentials.

Fortunately I am in a position where I don't have to worry about money.  So my goal is not making money per se because if it were, I'd probably be more inclined to buy a business, a women's clothing boutique perhaps because I love fashion!  Or a coffee café where I can put my creativity to good use by making exotic coffee drinks and the like.  

But now I just want to give back somehow.  Help in some small way if I can.  Pay it forward as hokey as that may sound to some people but I believe in it.

I also feel my dad inspiring me from wherever he is as hokey as that might sound too!

I dunno, perhaps I am being idealistic again, but I really want to do this.   The 18 month course is on line. So I can still work part time.  I don't ever want to stop working because working gives me a sense of purpose no matter what it is.

But thank you so much for your input!  I am taking it ALL in.   Embarking on a new endeavor is always a risk, but one thing I am certain of now, is that the law is not for me anymore and one reason why I thought it was because I thought my dad would be proud following in his footsteps, before I realized it's not something he ever encouraged or wanted for me anyway.

As you can probably sense, he and I were very close and I miss him a lot, may he RIP.  💛

 

 

 

 

Edited August 16, 2021 by poppyfields

[Calmandfocused]

13 hours ago, poppyfields said:

First off, thank you to everyone who chimed in!  Much appreciated.  I wanted to specifically address Calm's post though.

I know it's a tough profession, and quite competitive and I am willing to start at bottom and work my way up.  I am also a pretty tough cookie, strong when I need to be.  And like I said, I have volunteered in the profession and I felt frustrated that I couldn't do more because I did not have the credentials.

Fortunately I am in a position where I don't have to worry about money.  So my goal is not making money per se because if it were, I'd probably be more inclined to buy a business, a women's clothing boutique perhaps because I love fashion!  Or a coffee café where I can put my creativity to good use by making exotic coffee drinks and the like.  

But now I just want to give back somehow.  Help in some small way if I can.  Pay it forward as hokey as that may sound to some people but I believe in it.

I also feel my dad inspiring me from wherever he is as hokey as that might sound too!

I dunno, perhaps I am being idealistic again, but I really want to do this.   The 18 month course is on line. So I can still work part time.  I don't ever want to stop working because working gives me a sense of purpose no matter what it is.

But thank you so much for your input!  I am taking it ALL in.   Embarking on a new endeavor is always a risk, but one thing I am certain of now, is that the law is not for me anymore and one reason why I thought it was because I thought my dad would be proud following in his footsteps, before I realized it's not something he ever encouraged or wanted for me anyway.

As you can probably sense, he and I were very close and I miss him a lot, may he RIP.  💛

 

 

 

 

Well if that’s the case go for it Poppy. You’ve got absolutely nothing to lose and everything to gain.
 

It will be a slow progression but no reason you can’t get there with time and patience. 

[introverted1]

I relate to this.  I recently left a career in IT to focus on my small business which is about helping others.  The money is about 1/3 of what I was making before, but the reward of making a difference is huge.  It's the right thing at the right time for me. 

Congrats on finding your calling!

[poppyfields]

17 hours ago, introverted1 said:

I relate to this.  I recently left a career in IT to focus on my small business which is about helping others.  The money is about 1/3 of what I was making before, but the reward of making a difference is huge.  It's the right thing at the right time for me. 

Congrats on finding your calling!

I just read this, thank you so much, that is very encouraging!  💛

[Foxhall]

On 8/15/2021 at 8:33 PM, poppyfields said:

I have my BA and can get an MS in addiction/mental health counseling on line.

ah thats nice, I sometimes think I would like to do something in that area- though not sure about years of training,

anyway good luck with it.

[poppyfields]

45 minutes ago, Foxhall said:

ah thats nice, I sometimes think I would like to do something in that area- though not sure about years of training,

anyway good luck with it.

Hi Foxhall, thanks!   It's not years though, law school would have been years!    I can earn a degree in mental health in 18 months on line.  

[Cookiesandough]

Yay poppy do it!! You would be the BEST counselor. You have such a compassionate , kind soul. I think you are meant to help others!!! 

[poppyfields]

14 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said:

Yay poppy do it!! You would be the BEST counselor. You have such a compassionate , kind soul. I think you are meant to help others!!! 

OMG what a sweet thing to say, thank you!  ❤️

Not sure everyone 'round here would agree with you, but it was very nice to hear, hope it's true!