Author Becky_ Posted August 15, 2021 Author Posted August 15, 2021 I just don't respond. I just let her say whatever as its easier I am heading to my boyfriends now I'll update accordingly. 3
Author Becky_ Posted August 16, 2021 Author Posted August 16, 2021 Boyfriend has been really supportive. Said I should go to the doctors today, because I admitted I was struggling to cope, he suggested I go and ask for counselling. Which I think is a good idea, I just wanted to be cuddled last night and he obliged. He said that he wants to sort out this person at work, because she has been trying to stir it with him saying how bad of a person I am, He said he knew she was loopy but didn't realise to what extend. He said it will be dealt with properly and I am not to worry. Thats made me worry. 1
Daisydooks Posted August 16, 2021 Posted August 16, 2021 1 hour ago, Becky_ said: Boyfriend has been really supportive. Said I should go to the doctors today, because I admitted I was struggling to cope, he suggested I go and ask for counselling. Which I think is a good idea, I just wanted to be cuddled last night and he obliged. He said that he wants to sort out this person at work, because she has been trying to stir it with him saying how bad of a person I am, He said he knew she was loopy but didn't realise to what extend. He said it will be dealt with properly and I am not to worry. Thats made me worry. What about this made you worry? He consoled you and told you not worry after agreeing she is a train wreck. Im confused 2
glows Posted August 16, 2021 Posted August 16, 2021 1 hour ago, Becky_ said: Boyfriend has been really supportive. Said I should go to the doctors today, because I admitted I was struggling to cope, he suggested I go and ask for counselling. Which I think is a good idea, I just wanted to be cuddled last night and he obliged. He said that he wants to sort out this person at work, because she has been trying to stir it with him saying how bad of a person I am, He said he knew she was loopy but didn't realise to what extend. He said it will be dealt with properly and I am not to worry. Thats made me worry. He'll show himself for what he is also if he's vindictive or the type who looks for trouble or retaliates too strongly. Be clear and firm with him that you prefer to handle it yourself and report it to HR if that's the case. You can mention to your boyfriend that what you told him was FYI only. He is not to solve your problems for you. He's jumping in likely because it's hormones and he's feeling protective. Let this be a one time incident with one person. In future learn to handle your issues on your own with your staff or colleagues. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted August 16, 2021 Posted August 16, 2021 1 hour ago, Becky_ said: He said it will be dealt with properly and I am not to worry. Thats made me worry. Why does that worry you?
Author Becky_ Posted August 16, 2021 Author Posted August 16, 2021 I asked him to clarify, he said that he will be speaking to scheduling and HR as I shouldn't feel how I am and such. He also has experienced her strangeness as well as other crews. 1
Miss Spider Posted August 16, 2021 Posted August 16, 2021 (edited) Your friend could be somewhat rogue and what she says about your bf could be true. Those aren’t mutually exclusive Edited August 16, 2021 by Cookiesandough
d0nnivain Posted August 16, 2021 Posted August 16, 2021 13 minutes ago, Becky_ said: I asked him to clarify, he said that he will be speaking to scheduling and HR as I shouldn't feel how I am and such. He also has experienced her strangeness as well as other crews. So she has manifest herself as a problem all around. If she's disruptive to the team in many ways, apparently your BF has had enough & is prepared to speak out giving his POV, yours & the opinions of others as proof that she has a screw loose. Get the counseling you need & be done with her. Keep him & be extra sweet to him for having your back.
Author Becky_ Posted August 16, 2021 Author Posted August 16, 2021 41 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said: Your friend could be somewhat rogue and what she says about your bf could be true. Those aren’t mutually exclusive What do you mean? 1
glows Posted August 16, 2021 Posted August 16, 2021 57 minutes ago, Becky_ said: I asked him to clarify, he said that he will be speaking to scheduling and HR as I shouldn't feel how I am and such. He also has experienced her strangeness as well as other crews. Is he planning to speak for you? That's very nice of him but HR will want to speak with you directly also if that's the case. Be prepared to have recorded events, dates and times when she has tried to sabotage your work or any texts or voicemails that constitute harassment at work. 1
Miss Spider Posted August 16, 2021 Posted August 16, 2021 13 minutes ago, Becky_ said: What do you mean? I mean your friend could be a sht talker/stirrer and just enjoy drama in general AND she could also genuinely feel that this guy is not right for you and have legitimate reasons for feeling that way Both can be true Gotta look at the whole pic
GeorgiaPeach1 Posted August 16, 2021 Posted August 16, 2021 On 8/14/2021 at 2:36 PM, Becky_ said: I was sexually assaulted when I was on a layover in Johannesburg earlier this year. Do you have a police report to show him, in case she tries to make it seem consensual to your bf?
Author Becky_ Posted August 16, 2021 Author Posted August 16, 2021 46 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said: I mean your friend could be a sht talker/stirrer and just enjoy drama in general AND she could also genuinely feel that this guy is not right for you and have legitimate reasons for feeling that way Both can be true Gotta look at the whole pic Thank you 40 minutes ago, GeorgiaPeach1 said: Do you have a police report to show him, in case she tries to make it seem consensual to your bf? I do and have offered to show my boyfriend, he said its not needed. 2
d0nnivain Posted August 16, 2021 Posted August 16, 2021 Your BF is smart. He doesn't need the gory details to be able to support you. Glad you reported your attack. 2
Johnson1 Posted August 17, 2021 Posted August 17, 2021 (edited) Sounds like she's trying to sabotage your relationship possibly because she wants him. She's definitely no friend if she saying all this horrible things and trying to make you feel bad. That's not having your best interest at heart. If you told him about the incident and he stands by you 100%, it sounds like he really cares. I wouldn't worry about anything she tries to tell him or listen to anything she has to say for that matter. I would distance myself from her as much as possible. I would also tell him about all the mean things that she's been saying. If he loves you he won't appreciate what she's doing and he will turn his back on her. Edited August 17, 2021 by Vocals5 1
Author Becky_ Posted August 17, 2021 Author Posted August 17, 2021 He has rang scheduling today and HR Scheduling have rescheduled her to not be on the same flights and HR want to see us. My boyfriend says its nothing to worry about just process.
Author Becky_ Posted August 17, 2021 Author Posted August 17, 2021 1 hour ago, d0nnivain said: Listen to your BF I am 1
poppyfields Posted August 17, 2021 Posted August 17, 2021 (edited) 11 minutes ago, Becky_ said: I am I don't want to rattle you, but my spiny senses are telling me something sounds very off about this entire situation, I am not getting good vibes from it. I don't want to say what those bad vibes are, only that I would NOT be so quick to believe your boyfriend. Where there's smoke, there's fire, which has proven to be true in more cases than not, unfortunately. Listen to your own inner voice about this, trust your intuition. Often times we dismiss because we are fearful of the truth, so we shove it down only to have it bite us in the ass later. I have been guilty of this myself and wish I had listened to my own inner voice. But lesson learned, that's the positive takeaway. Anyway, I hope my bad vibes are wrong, I truly do. I am not even sure where they're coming from, I am not a bitter or distrustful person. But reading your story, I dunno, it just doesn't sound right to me and believe your boyfriend may be more involved than you think or want to think. Again, I hope I am wrong, good luck. Edited August 17, 2021 by poppyfields 2
Miss Spider Posted August 17, 2021 Posted August 17, 2021 (edited) Lol why is it with some people whenever a woman warns another woman about a guy she has to want him. It’s only one possiblity and to be honest with all things considered here not even the most likely one op seems one very quick to listen to her bf when he says “oh it’s them, not me!!!” Drama doesn’t surround ppl like this for no reason normally Edited August 17, 2021 by Cookiesandough 1
poppyfields Posted August 17, 2021 Posted August 17, 2021 (edited) 49 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said: Drama doesn’t surround ppl like this for no reason normally Agree! My very first thought when reading this was she sounds like a woman scorned. By whom? HIM!! Your boyfriend, the captain. Or they might still be involved. All I know is when a woman starts trashing your man like that, it would behoove you to pay attention and not just dismiss deeming her crazy and your boyfriend the innocent party. When a woman goes off like that, there is often a man on the other side causing it, or who has encouraged her in some way. It's NOT happening in a vacuum, I can tell you that. He is involved, some how, in some way. I hate that type of drama, if me I’d put two and two together and probably dump both of them, find another airline to work for, it shouldn't be difficult. I'm sorry but something sounds very very off about this whole thing. Edited August 17, 2021 by poppyfields
stillafool Posted August 17, 2021 Posted August 17, 2021 It's good that your bf is being supportive and helping you with this situation. But, you have got to learn to stand up for yourself and put people like her in their place when they say hurtful, inappropriate things to you. You should have shut her down the minute it happened and certainly not let her continue to get away with it. Have you ever asked her why she was saying those things about your bf getting tired of you and all the other filth she spews at you? Be sure there is a reason for it. It's nice of your bf to handle this situation for you but honestly this is something you should have handled yourself.
Author Becky_ Posted August 18, 2021 Author Posted August 18, 2021 My boyfriend and this co-worker do have history, he turned her down when she offered herself to him, I was there when this happened (We were not together) and she has hated him ever since.
stillafool Posted August 18, 2021 Posted August 18, 2021 22 minutes ago, Becky_ said: My boyfriend and this co-worker do have history, he turned her down when she offered herself to him, I was there when this happened (We were not together) and she has hated him ever since. Okay this is the perfect thing to tell her the next time she talks crap about him to you. "Oh girl, you're just jealous because he rejected you, you need to get over it, because I'm happy." Then walk away.
poppyfields Posted August 18, 2021 Posted August 18, 2021 (edited) 1 hour ago, Becky_ said: My boyfriend and this co-worker do have history, he turned her down when she offered herself to him, I was there when this happened (We were not together) and she has hated him ever since. Wow. She sexually propositioned him right in front of you, were others around too? If so, of course he turned her down. Did he or anyone report this incident to HR? Again, I think there is more to this story, but I'm staying out of it, good luck, hope it all works out. Edited August 18, 2021 by poppyfields
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