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Found my girlfriend camping with her Ex, after claiming she was going on a girls trip

Sportsterlow

By Sportsterlow
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Sportsterlow New Member

Sportsterlow

Posted
Posted

My girlfriend told me she was going camping with her friend,  but she just gave way way to much info like she was trying to hide something,  she wouldn't tell me where she was going,  finally she tells me,  but her story changed to much and she was almost making it up as she went, I got concerned about it,  talked to a few friends,  they said wait a few hours and drive there, so I did, found her camping alone with her ex, she kept claiming that she had a female friend there and he straight up said no they came alone, we have sence made up and trust is a huge problem,  at this point do I just assume she is always going to be a liar and walk away or do I give her the chance to rebuild trust and move forward?

chillii Established Member

chillii

Posted
Posted

l'm afraid that would def' do it for me.

  • Like 6
Miss Spider Established Member

Miss Spider

Posted
Posted

She’s playing you 

  • Like 5
ExpatInItaly Established Member

ExpatInItaly

Posted
Posted
4 hours ago, Sportsterlow said:

do I give her the chance to rebuild trust and move forward?

There is nothing to rebuild. 

Her heart and mind are clearly not with you, and she is terribly dishonest and disrespectful. This will never work, because it's not only about trust but also about the fact that she is very obviously not in love with you anymore. 

Get rid of her.

  • Like 5
Wiseman2 Established Member

Wiseman2

Posted
Posted
4 hours ago, Sportsterlow said:

,found her camping alone with her ex.

Sorry this happened. How long have you been dating? 

Unfortunately, this isn't an "ex". It's her BF.

End it. 

 

  • Like 2
salparadise Established Member

salparadise

Posted
Posted (edited)
4 hours ago, Sportsterlow said:

at this point do I just assume she is always going to be a liar and walk away

Yes. People either have integrity or not. She even lied when you caught her red handed and you could clearly see that there were no other women there. You'll never be able to believe a word she says. I don't know why you'd even consider continuing after this.

Edited by salparadise
  • Like 5
elaine567 Established Member

elaine567

Posted
Posted
5 hours ago, Sportsterlow said:

...trust is a huge problem, 

I wonder why that would be?
She now sees you as an easy touch, be prepared for the next time... trust is not possible now.

 

  • Like 2
BaileyB Established Member

BaileyB

Posted
Posted (edited)
5 hours ago, Sportsterlow said:

at this point do I just assume she is always going to be a liar and walk away or do I give her the chance to rebuild trust and move forward?

To be clear, that’s a pretty serious betrayal. And, she lied to you even upon discovery. 
There is nothing to rebuild here. She doesn’t have any respect for you and you should not trust this woman ever again. 

Edited by BaileyB
  • Like 4
introverted1 Established Member

introverted1

Posted
Posted

Sounds like thread title needs to be updated to say Ex-Girlfriend.

  • Like 5
Caauug Established Member

Caauug

Posted
Posted
5 hours ago, Sportsterlow said:

I give her the chance to rebuild trust and move forward?

Dude!!!! Seriously, try to get this into your head.... She does NOT think like you do.... This makes her needs different, her attraction to a man different than your attraction to her.... It's called "Human Nature" or Human Behavioral Biology... Study it, the Disney Dream is all a lie, that is not how you or she is....

She is looking for her best mate at this time in her life.... She was with the Ex camping, so you are NOT No#1.... You are the back up guy.... She was "Branch Swinging" up to the ex who she considers higher value than you. It's called "Hypergamy", she wants the better (in her eyes) man. 

6 hours ago, Sportsterlow said:

we have sence made up

No you haven't... You have sort of forgave her, after she said sorry and cried a little.... She conned you, so she can have a second chance at branching up  to the ex.... This showed your weakness or that she can manipulate you.... This lowered her attraction to you.... Very counterproductive...  That "Makeup Sex" was your reward to becoming a real "Simp". She will be much better at covering her tracks now.... 

"Actions speak louder than words", she was camping with the man she wanted to be with..... The only mistake she made was being careless that you could find out who she really wants as a man.

Let her go so she can find happiness with her ex or whoever she wants to. Find someone that wants to give to the admiration and respect that you seek.

  • Like 1
Herkamer Member

Herkamer

Posted
Posted
6 hours ago, Sportsterlow said:

My girlfriend told me she was going camping with her friend,  but she just gave way way to much info like she was trying to hide something,  she wouldn't tell me where she was going,  finally she tells me,  but her story changed to much and she was almost making it up as she went, I got concerned about it,  talked to a few friends,  they said wait a few hours and drive there, so I did, found her camping alone with her ex, she kept claiming that she had a female friend there and he straight up said no they came alone, we have sence made up and trust is a huge problem,  at this point do I just assume she is always going to be a liar and walk away or do I give her the chance to rebuild trust and move forward?

Dude, what are you thinking? Get out of that relationship, ASAP! She's going to do it again and it could either be with the same guy and another one altogether. This is NOT, I repeat NOT, a matter of "if" but "when", and you'll kicking yourself in the head asking "what am I doing wrong" when in reality you're not. It's ALL her in this case. The fact that she went out of her way to not tell where she was going, lying about about who's she's going with, and then trying to lie WHILE SHE'S WITH HER SUPPOSED EX WHEN YOU CAUGHT HER IN THE ACT, should be MORE than enough to get out. It proves she's a manipulator and a liar.

 

If this has happened to you at all, think back to when you simply spoken to another girl in front of her. No flirting, nothing sensuous, not anything of the sort. Or just a quick glance at another woman just because they happen to be there, but wanted nothing to do with them. I'll bet money she was FURIOUS when you dared do that. She might not have said it, but no doubt she was. It may have happened while you weren't even aware, but I'll bet her behavior was different after that event.

 

 There are a lot people (especially an alarming rise in number of women) that do this for validation and feel as if they are entitled to this kind of behavior. In their twisted minds, they believe they're allowed to do whatever they want, whenever they want, however they want, and whatever the reason they want it to be. But you dare do anything they disapprove of, in their eyes, you're a hater and don't care about others. Trust me, get out of the relationship because it's going to get worse from here on out.

  • Like 1
Art.at.Heart Member

Art.at.Heart

Posted
Posted
9 hours ago, Sportsterlow said:

 at this point do I just assume she is always going to be a liar and walk away or do I give her the chance to rebuild trust and move forward?

What has she done to give you any other impression? At no point in your story was she actually the one that decided to tell the truth. You forced her hand the first time and her ex forced her hand the second time. If you resume your relationship with this girl, you'll be doing your mental health a HUGE disservice. 

smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

Posted
Posted

Dude, she did one of the biggest betrayals. It's a one and done. WALK AWAY.

  • Like 4
Herkamer Member

Herkamer

Posted
Posted

One last thing, you should forgive her, but it's okay NOT to trust her (how can you). This would be the mature way to do the break up. Don't sink down to her level. Believe me when I say if there's going to be a break (and there NEEDS to be), she WANTS you to be rash and go off on her. Don't give her the satisfaction of her making you out to be a hot head. She'll expose herself as the one at fault, and it'll help you avoid blaming yourself when you are not the one to bear any of it. So again, forgive her, call off the relationship calmly, and walk away. If she tries to get a hold of you, ignore her messages. Do not respond to them. She needs to learn that she's not entitled to you nor anyone else, and she needs to know that she isn't as desired as she wants to make herself out to be. There's no need to beat yourself up over this at all when you did nothing wrong.

  • Like 1
DingDang Member

DingDang

Posted
Posted

She didn't go on that camping trip alone with her XBF just to roast marshmallows and sing Kumbaya. And she lied when she got caught. She's not good GF material. 

Thank you, NEXT! 

  • Like 5
stillafool Established Member

stillafool

Posted
Posted

She should be far in your rear view by now.  She doesn't love you.

  • Like 4
poppyfields Established Member

poppyfields

Posted
Posted (edited)
11 minutes ago, stillafool said:

She should be far in your rear view by now.  She doesn't love you.

HE doesn't love himself.  That's why he's accepted her BS and remains with her. 

As for her, I agree stillafool, she doesn't love him either, clearly.

To the OP, no woman/person will ever love you unless you love yourself first. 

Edited by poppyfields
  • Like 3
Daisydooks Established Member

Daisydooks

Posted
Posted

When you decided to get in the car, you should have turned the engine off, called her and ended things immediately. One thing I have learned in life is when you need to follow someone, its over anyway. You should have saved your gas. It was over before you left the driveway  

  • Like 3
lovelychef87 Member

lovelychef87

Posted
Posted

She would've slept with him if you didn't show up and probably slept with him after you left.

Miss Spider Established Member

Miss Spider

Posted
Posted (edited)
2 hours ago, DingDang said:

She didn't go on that camping trip alone with her XBF just to roast marshmallows and sing Kumbaya. And she lied when she got caught. She's not good GF material. 

Thank you, NEXT! 

They don’t call it pitching a tent for nothing 

Edited by Cookiesandough
  • Like 3
Uruktopi Established Member

Uruktopi

Posted
Posted (edited)

.....and it would be to trust about what that didn´t already happened?

Wish her happy new years in advance for what is left of the century.

And walk away with dignity, even if temporarily sad.

Edited by Uruktopi
  • Like 1
Lotsgoingon Established Member

Lotsgoingon

Posted
Posted

Why would you forgive this or look past this?

This is her announcing loudly exactly who she is. You "forgive" her here, and you sent the following message: you will put up with anything.

In fact, the fact that you're even asking this question here says this is already an unequal relationship where you like her and treat her better, far better, than she likes or treats you. 

Get out and next time get out of the relationship when someone is not treating you well. BTW: it was a copout to go check on her. A copout. You KNEW based on her evasiveness and vagueness that something was wrong. And in order for you to sense something was wrong, you had to have already sensed this many times previously. So you knew she wasn't good for you. Quit her right then.

Don't go running around and checking on people. And now that you've caught her, you are still dithering and hiding. You're as evasive as she is. Stand up for yourself. Get out. This woman is nothing but trouble for you. 

 

  • Like 1
Ami1uwant Established Member

Ami1uwant

Posted
Posted
On 8/14/2021 at 1:31 AM, Sportsterlow said:

My girlfriend told me she was going camping with her friend,  but she just gave way way to much info like she was trying to hide something,  she wouldn't tell me where she was going,  finally she tells me,  but her story changed to much and she was almost making it up as she went, I got concerned about it,  talked to a few friends,  they said wait a few hours and drive there, so I did, found her camping alone with her ex, she kept claiming that she had a female friend there and he straight up said no they came alone, we have sence made up and trust is a huge problem,  at this point do I just assume she is always going to be a liar and walk away or do I give her the chance to rebuild trust and move forward?

This is a trust bridge destroyed.

 

don’t bother with her

 

 

 

 

  • Like 1
HadMeOverABarrel Established Member

HadMeOverABarrel

Posted
Posted

Well, in case you need to hear it from yet another person...

This chic is bad news. Don't be her fool. End it. Block. Delete. Never look back. 

  • Like 1
Asterix1 New Member

Asterix1

Posted
Posted
On 8/13/2021 at 10:31 PM, Sportsterlow said:

My girlfriend told me she was going camping with her friend,  but she just gave way way to much info like she was trying to hide something,  she wouldn't tell me where she was going,  finally she tells me,  but her story changed to much and she was almost making it up as she went, I got concerned about it,  talked to a few friends,  they said wait a few hours and drive there, so I did, found her camping alone with her ex, she kept claiming that she had a female friend there and he straight up said no they came alone, we have sence made up and trust is a huge problem,  at this point do I just assume she is always going to be a liar and walk away or do I give her the chance to rebuild trust and move forward?

I really feel sorry for you because all the potential headache and heartache coming your way down the road.

Please take a step back and really really think about what you want? Would you want a partner who loves you and respects you? If so, then I think she ain't it.

 

  • Like 2
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